Polly Believed in Preparedness

by Jerome Kern (music) and P. G. Wodehouse (lyrics)

Sheet music cover

[Verse]

Ev'ry maiden today should know men thru and thru,

And it's never to soon to begin.

To study their ways for each year nowadays,

It gets harder to gather them in.

I once knew a girl who was prudence itself,

For she always was looking ahead;

She practiced each glance and left nothing to chance

"Be prepared was her motto, she said.

[Refrain]

Polly believed in Preparedness,

So when she put on a new dress,

She paid attention to things we won't mention

You don't know they're there, but you guess

Though her efforts were frequently wasted,

Still no trouble and forethought, she spared,

For she said "You can't know when the wind's going to blow.

She liked to be prepared.

[Verse]

Now and then, some young man would drop in at her home

For a nice cozy afternoon chat

She made preparations for such conversations

Before he had hung up his hat.

Young men, as you know, often let themselves go,

And are apt to say more than they mean;

So she felt the fitness of having a witness

to take a few notes of the scene.

[Refrain]

Polly believed in preparedness,

She knew what these meetings can be;

So she'd deposit her aunt in a closet,

And father behind the settee

When men talked indiscreetly, how sweetly

she'd smile, as their fervor she shared.

In a corner, alone, stood a small dictaphone

She liked to be prepared.