Poor man's looking glass/Robert and Nell

ROBERT AND NELL.

I Am a bold batchelor juſt in my prime,
Who has a good mind to be married,
It happened once on a Saturday's night,
when late in the ale houſe I tarried.
And as coming home I heard a great noiſe,
I ſtood to liſten to hear what it was,
A woman cries out, О is there no laws?
O that I cannot be unmarried!

You rogue I brought you a portion you know,
and for thus to be ſerved by a villain,
You work all the week, and on Saturday's night,
brings me nothing home but one ſhilling,
A ſhilling I have three children to feed,
which is not enough for to find then in bread,
She up with the piſs pot and threw't at his head,
ſaying, o that I ne'er had been married.

She ſat herſelf down for to reſt her a while,
and thus the began for to prattle,
A lecture ſhe gave him again I declare,
which made his poor head for to rattle.

Begone to your whores I ſolemnly ſwear,
if you ſtay any longer, I'll cut off your ears,
And I'll certainly ſpoil the reſt of your wares,
ſaying, O that I ne'er had been married.

You impudent jade to rail againſt whores,
pray where is your gallant the taylor?
By him you had a baſtard you know,
the mean time that I was a ſailor.
You rifled my riches, you plunderd my ſtore,
I father'd your baſtar'd when I come on ſhore,
You audacious jade to rail againſt whores,
ſaying, O that I ne'er had been married.

The reaſon of this the woman did ſay,
all reaſon that I had this failing,
He only ſupplied your place when away,
the mean time when you was a ſailing
For ſeven long years that you was from home,
why ſhould I ly ſighing and tumbling alone?
While you got a moll, at each port you did come,
ſaying, O that I ne'er had been married.

Before that you rogue, you diſgraced me ſo,
I paſs'd for an honeſt woman!
But now you have let the neighbours to know,
that I to the taylor was common:
For diſgracing me ſo, you're the ſon of a whore,
ſhe off with her cap, and at him once more,
Then preſently, they did roll on the floor,
ſaying, O that I ne'er had been married.

The children did ſqual, the diſhes did fly,
the pipkins did rattle like thunder;
By this time the neighbours broke open the door,
and ſtrove for to part them aſunder.
But ſhe, like a fcold, did make this reply,
go hang you, you rogue, I'll fight till I die,
She up with her hand double 'gave him a black eye,
ſaying, blaſt you, you rogue, I'll be maſter.