Preces Gertrudianae/The Soul's last Will and Testament
THE LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT OF THE SOUL.
This may be regarded as the quintessence and summary of all the prayers continued in this little book, and it is of great and tried efficacy in quelling therage of the assaults of our enemies in the hour of our death; wherefore you will do well to repeat and renew it at least four times a year. When you are ill, you should read it over with great devotion, or have it read to you if you cannot read it yourself; and at the end of each clause you should say: This is verily and indeed my will and desire.
In the name of the most Holy Trinity. Amen.
INASMUCH as I, a most miserable sinner, am most certain that I shall die, but most uncertain of the hour of my death, therefore now, while I have the full use of all my powers and faculties, I will publish and declare before thee, O most blessed Trinity, and in presence of all the court of heaven, this my last will, how I wish to live and to die. And lest it should be in any way changed or made void, I draw up and write this my testament, beseeching thee that it may remain in full force throughout eternity. Do thou, therefore, O most holy Father, look now on me thy most unworthy servant with the eyes of thy compassion, even as thou didst look upon thine only-begotten Son in the Garden of Olives as he lay prostrate on the ground before thee, disposing and bequeathing all his merits for the benefit of his Church. And as thou didst receive the prayer of the same thy Son as an odour of well-pleasing, so do thou deign to ratify this my last will, and to render it, and then accept it, as seasonable and acceptable in thy sight.
Firstly: in the clearest form and most binding manner I bequeath and make over wholly to thee, O most blessed Trinity, my body and my soul, and all the works which I have done with them throughout the whole course of my life. And I give thee highest and everlasting thanks that thou hast made me a reasonable creature, hast regenerated me in holy baptism, hast sanctified me with thine other Sacraments, and hast bestowed on me in body and in soul, in general and in particular, innumerable good gifts. Wherefore I acknowledge that thou alone hast rightful dominion over me, and that thou alone, and none other besides thee, art my supreme and sovereign Lord.
Secondly: I ascribe to thee alone, my Lord and my God, all the good, and all the graces and favours which I have ever received from thee, in body and in soul; and I acknowledge that of thine unfathomable goodness, and through the intercession of thy saints, thou hast bestowed on me a thousandfold more good than I have ever deserved at thy hands, and that thou hast provided for me both in body and in soul, in prosperity and in adversity, with such exquisite discrimination of my need, that no power, or wisdom, or goodness but thine could have so ordered my lot. Wherefore I will sing thy praises and offer thee my thanksgivings with all my powers throughout eternity.
Thirdly: I firmly believe and profess the true faith which I received in my baptism, and all and every one of the articles thereof, in such manner and form as the one holy Catholic Church believes and professes them, and I am most ready rather to pour out my life and my blood than to deny one article of that true faith. And if through the craft and subtilty of the enemy of my soul there should be in me at my last hour one thought, word, or action, which does not fully accord with this sacred faith, I hereby declare such thought, word, or action void and of no effect. And lest this should be the case, I commend my faith to thy omnipotence, thy wisdom, and thy goodness, O my God, that in the hour of my death it may be found whole and intact.
Fourthly: I detest and abhor all and every one of the sins which I have committed from my youth to this hour, of whatever kind they may be, and however committed; and I most bitterly and vehemently grieve for them, O most compassionate God, simply and purely for love of thee, and I most earnestly desire that this my sorrow were a thousand fold more bitter and more vehement. And in supply of all that is lacking to my sorrow, I offer thee that contrition which thy only-begotten Son felt for the sins of the whole world. And that I may, at least in some degree, satisfy thee for the most grievous wrongs I have done thee, I offer myself to thee, protesting my readiness to suffer most willingly and gladly whatever vengeance thou mayest be pleased to exact from me.
Fifthly: and whereas all my satisfaction falls infinitely short of my debt to thee, I betake myself to the most abundant treasury of the merits of Jesus Christ; and I offer thee all the long Passion he endured from the first moment of his Conception until he bowed his head upon the cross and gave up the ghost. Moreover, I plunge and hide all my sins and negligences in his most sacred Wounds; beseeching thee that thou wouldst vouchsafe to wash away all my stains in his most precious Blood, and to inflame me with the fire of his love.
Sixthly: I most humbly ask pardon of all and every one whom I have ever grieved or offended by word or deed, and I declare myself ready to make full amends with my own person, according to the measures of thy most exact justice, for all the loss I have occasioned them in their honour or in their substance. And do from my heart pardon and forgive every injury, insult,or wrong whereby any person has offended me by word or deed, even as our Lord Jesus Christ, while hanging upon the cross, forgave his enemies and murderers, and prayed for them to his Father.
Seventhly: I acknowledge and profess that I could not hope to attain heaven by my own merits; wherefore I put not my trust in them, but only in the merits and passion of thy beloved Son, and in the patronage and intercession of thy Saints. And in these I so firmly place my trust, that I cannot even conceive that I can perish everlastingly, yea, though I had offended thee a thousand times more than I have done; for I know that thy mercy is infinitely above my sins, and that the passion of thine only Son is of immeasurably greater weight in the balance of thy justice.
Eighthly: I wholly commit and resign to thy most holy will myself, and all that I am, or have, or can do, deliberately choosing and imploring of thee that that will may be most fully and entirely done in me, by me, and in all that concerns me. I do not desire to live one hour longer than it pleases thee. I do not desire to depart hence by this or that kind of death or sickness, but purely and alone by that which thou shalt appoint for me.
Yea, were I now free to live on a thousand years amidst all imaginable delights, I would rather choose to die this moment, were it thy will, than to live one single moment longer than thou wiliest.
Ninthly: I love thee, O my God and my Love, and I desire to love thee for ever; for by reason of thy sovereign perfection and magnificence thou art most worthy of my love; and I would I could love thee a thousand-fold more than I do. Had I the capacity of the hearts of all men and all angels, I would most gladly employ all in thy love alone. But since I cannot love thee as I ought, I beseech thee that thou wouldst love thyself for me with a love worthy of thee.
Lastly: I profess that I desire to die as a true Catholic, and to partake of the most holy Sacraments of Penance, of Communion, and of Extreme Unction. I desire, moreover, to have my part and portion in all the Masses, prayers, and suffrages which shall be offered for the faithful departed henceforward until the day of judgment. Yea, were it in my power, I would ordain that upon every altar and by every priest the holy sacrifice of the Mass should be offered for me after my death to the end of time. But since this cannot be, I beseech thee, O Christ Jesus, that thou wouldst offer thyself for me to thy Father, a holocaust and a perpetual sacrifice for my in numerable sins. Moreover, I implore thee to send forth for the succour of my soul in its last agony but one of those sighs which burst forth from thy Heart in thine exceeding sorrow amidst the horrors of thine own agony, and to sprinkle upon it for its salvation one single drop of thy most precious Blood. Amen.
SEALING OF THE TESTAMENT.
WHEREFORE, O most blessed Trinity, I now profess and declare before thee and all the court of heaven that all and every thing contained in this testament is my last sincere will and intention, in accordance with which I desire to live and to die. And I desire that this my testament be never in any wise evaded or made void, but that it may have its full force and effect before my death, and at my death, and after my death. And in case it should ever occur to me to revoke it, I now hereby declare that such revocation is to be held null and void.
I beseech thee then, O most tender Jesus, that thou wouldst deign to register this my last will publicly in the court of heaven, and to witness it with the signature of thy most holy Name, and to seal it with the impress of thy five sacred Wounds. And I beseech thee, O most blessed Virgin Mary, and thee, O blessed John the Evangelist, as though thou wert high chancellor of the everlasting kingdom, and thee also, O N. my beloved patron, who art assessor in that royal court of heaven, that ye would condescend to be the witnesses of this my last will, and to subscribe your names thereto, and to lay it up amongst the records of the most holy and adorable Trinity, so that it may be forthcoming to be presented to him at any time and in any emergency. And I resolve to keep always a copy thereof, signed with my own hand, so that it may be known to God and to all men whose I am in body and in soul, and in what manner I desire to live and to die.
And thus I, a most unworthy servant of God, now sign and seal with my own hand
N.