Rejected Address!

by John Hill Hewitt

Rejected Address!

for the

Opening of the New Richmond Theatre.

---

To be Spoken by the Acting Manager in the Character of

A Clown.

---

(He enters with a Somerset, and Strike an Attitude!)

---

How are ye, old friends? I’m delighted to see
So many admirers of Lizzie and me—
It looks like old times, when I acted the Clown,
And made an odd penny in city and town;
To be sure, it comes easy—a comical creature
I’ve been all my days—a booby by nature.
But, never mind that—I will stick to you still,
If you’ll smile on D’Orsey Ogden and Lizzie Magill.

You owe me support for my steady exertions
To cover the Drama from scandal’s aspersions;
I’ve made—this a temple of Chastity—yes,
We carry out virtue almost to excess.
No kissing or hugging but what’s in the play,
But, I don’t care a d——n what they do when away,
A model for men—they all bow to my will,
And learn from D’Orsey Ogden, and Lizzie Magill.

Our maids are all married, and we call them misses;
Sub-rosa, they trade in caresses and kisses;
That’s no business of yours—they’ve two parts to play,
And for each they receive quite a liberal pay.
We need’nt turn round very oft on our heels,
To see that the world is supplied with Camilles.
We preach you the moral—then act as you will,
But, don’t blame D’Orsey Ogden and Lizzie Magill.

I came to your city a native—sans shirt,
Sans money—sans breeches—sans all things but dirt;
Snug quarters were ready—my tailor’s bills paid,
In fact, from a loafer, a pink I was made;
I was not the fool to forego this rare chance,
A beggar on horseback, I made the nag prance;
I’ve acted Iago (though not in the bill)
For the good of D’Orsey Ogden and Lizzie Magill.

Behold! what a building, we’ve raised on the ruins
Of the old house—this is not all our doings;
We’ve engaged all the talent—our women are courted,
Our men have been soldiers—but, then some deserted;
I myself, have found out, since conscription began,
That, though Born in this Land, I’m an Englishman!
So, I’m not the man to be killed, or to kill,
For Dear is D’Orsey Ogden to Lizzie Magill.

A manager I—you must view me as such,
I’ve managed to keep from the bullet or crutch;
Iv’e managed to fill up my pockets with cash.
Ive managed to Humbug the public, with Trash!
I’ve managed to make the world think I’m a wit,
But persons who know me, won’t believe it a bit;
I’ve managed to mould a Frail Fair to my will;
So success to D’Orsey Ogden and Lizzie Magill.