Searchlights on Health/Popping the Question
POPPING THE QUESTION.
1. MAKING THE DECLARATION.—There are few emergencies in business and few events in life that bring to man the trying ordeal of "proposing to a lady." We should be glad to help the bashful lover in his hours of perplexity, embarrassment and hesitation, but unfortunately we cannot pop the question for him, nor give him a formula by which he may do it. Different circumstances and different surroundings compel every lover to be original in his form or mode of proposing.
2. BASHFULNESS.—If a young man is very bashful, he should write his sentiments in a clear, frank manner on a neat white sheet of note paper, enclose it in a plain white envelope and find some way to convey it to the lady's hand.
3. THE ANSWER.—If the beloved one's heart is touched and she is in sympathy with the lover, the answer should be frankly and unequivocally given. If the negative answer is necessary, it should be done in the kindest and most sympathetic language, yet definite, positive and to the point, and the gentleman should at once withdraw his suit and continue friendly but not familiar.
4. SAYING "NO" FOR "YES."-If girls are foolish enough to say "No" when they mean "Yes," they must suffer the consequences which often follow. A man of intelligence and self-respect will not ask a lady twice. It is begging for recognition and lowers his dignity, should he do so. A lady is supposed to know her heart sufficiently to consider the question to her satisfaction before giving an answer.
5. CONFUSION OF WORDS AND MISUNDERSTANDING.—Sometimes a man's happiness, has depended on his manner of popping the question. Many a time the girl has said "No" because the question was so worded that the affirmative did not come from the mouth naturally; and two lives that gravitated toward each other with all their inward force have been thrown suddenly apart, because the electric keys were not carefully touched.
6. SCRIPTURAL DECLARATION.—The church is not the proper place to conduct a courtship, yet the following is suggestive and ingenious.
A young gentleman, familiar with the Scriptures, happening to sit in a pew adjoining a young lady for whom he conceived a violent attachment, made his proposal in this way. He politely handed his neighbor a Bible open, with a pin stuck in the following text: Second Epistle of John, verse 5:
"And I beseech thee, lady, not as though I wrote a new commandment unto thee, but that we had from the beginning, that we love one another."
She returned it, pointing to the second chapter of Ruth, verse 10: "Then she fell on her face, and bowed herself to the ground, and said unto him. Why have I found grace in thine eyes that thou shouldest take knowledge of me, seeing I am a stranger?"
He returned the book, pointing to the 13th verse of the Third Epistle of John: "Having many things to write unto you, I would not write to you with paper and ink, but trust to come unto you and speak face to face, that your joy may be full."
From the above interview a marriage took place the ensuing month in the same church.
7. HOW JENNY WAS WON.
On a sunny Summer morning,
Early as the dew was dry,
Up the hill I went a berrying;
Need I tell you—tell you why?
Farmer Davis had a daughter.
And it happened that I knew,
On each sunny morning, Jenny
Up the hill went berrying too.
Lonely work is picking berries,
So I joined her on the hill:
"Jenny, dear," said I, "your basket's
Quite too large for one to fill."
So we stayed—we two—to fill it,
Jenny talking—I was still.—
Leading where the hill was steepest,
Picking berries up the hill.
"This is up-hill work," said Jenny;
"So is life," said I; "shall we
Climb it each alone, or, Jenny,
Will you come and climb with me?"
Redder than the blushing berries
Jenny's cheek a moment grew,
While without delay she answered,
"I will come and climb with you."
8. A ROMANTIC WAY FOR PROPOSING.—In Peru they have a romantic way of popping the question. The suitor appears on the appointed evening, with a gaily dressed troubadour under the balcony of his beloved. The singer steps before her flower-bedecked window, and sings her beauties in the name of her lover. He compares her size to that of a pear tree, her lips to two blushing rose-buds, and her womanly form to that of a dove. With assumed harshness the lady asks her lover: Who are you, and what do you want? He answers with ardent confidence: "Thy love I do adore. The stars live in the harmony of love, and why should not we, too, love each other?" Then the proud beauty gives herself away: she takes her flower-wreath from her hair and throws it down to her lover, promising to be his forever.