Shakespeare - First Folio facsimile (1910)/Twelfe Night/Act 2 Scene 3
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Scæna Tertia.
Enter Sir Toby, and Sir Andrew.
To.
Approach Sir Andrew: not to bee a bedde after midnight,
is to be vp betimes, and Deliculo surgere, thou know'st.
Approach Sir Andrew: not to bee a bedde after midnight,
is to be vp betimes, and Deliculo surgere, thou know'st.
And.
Nay by my troth I know not: but I know, to
be vp late, is to be vp late.
Nay by my troth I know not: but I know, to
be vp late, is to be vp late.
To.
A false conclusion: I hate it as an vnfill'd Canne.
To be vp after midnight, and to go to bed then is early:
so that to go to bed after midnight, is to goe to bed betimes.
Does not our liues consist of the foure Elements?
A false conclusion: I hate it as an vnfill'd Canne.
To be vp after midnight, and to go to bed then is early:
so that to go to bed after midnight, is to goe to bed betimes.
Does not our liues consist of the foure Elements?
And.
Faith so they say, but I thinke it rather consists
of eating and drinking.
Faith so they say, but I thinke it rather consists
of eating and drinking.
To.
Th'art a scholler; let vs therefore eate and drinke.
Marian I say, a stoope of wine.
Th'art a scholler; let vs therefore eate and drinke.
Marian I say, a stoope of wine.
Enter Clowne.
And.
Heere comes the foole yfaith.
Heere comes the foole yfaith.
Clo.
How now my harts: Did you neuer see the Picture
of we three?
How now my harts: Did you neuer see the Picture
of we three?
To.
Welcome asse, now let's haue a catch.
Welcome asse, now let's haue a catch.
And.
By my troth the foole has an excellent breast. I
had rather then forty shillings I had such a legge, and so
sweet a breath to sing, as the foole has. Insooth thou wast
in very gracious fooling last night, when thou spok'st of
Pigrogromitus, of the Vapians passing the Equinoctial of
Queubus: 'twas very good yfaith: I sent thee sixe pence
for thy Lemon, hadst it?
By my troth the foole has an excellent breast. I
had rather then forty shillings I had such a legge, and so
sweet a breath to sing, as the foole has. Insooth thou wast
in very gracious fooling last night, when thou spok'st of
Pigrogromitus, of the Vapians passing the Equinoctial of
Queubus: 'twas very good yfaith: I sent thee sixe pence
for thy Lemon, hadst it?
Clo.
I did impeticos thy gratillity: for Maluolios nose
is no Whip-stocke. My Lady has a white hand, and the
Mermidons are no bottle-ale houses.
I did impeticos thy gratillity: for Maluolios nose
is no Whip-stocke. My Lady has a white hand, and the
Mermidons are no bottle-ale houses.
An.
Excellent: Why this is the best fooling, when
all is done. Now a song.
Excellent: Why this is the best fooling, when
all is done. Now a song.
To.
Come on, there is sixe pence for you. Let's haue a song.
Come on, there is sixe pence for you. Let's haue a song.
An.
There's a testrill of me too: if one knight giue a
There's a testrill of me too: if one knight giue a
Clo.
Would you haue a loue-song, or a song of good life?
Would you haue a loue-song, or a song of good life?
To.
A loue song, a loue song.
A loue song, a loue song.
An.
I, I. I care not for good life.
Clowne sings.
O Mistris mine where are you roming?
O stay and heare, your true loues coming,
That can sing both high and low.
Trip no further prettie sweeting.
Iourneys end in louers meeting,
Euery wise mans sonne doth know.
I, I. I care not for good life.
Clowne sings.
O Mistris mine where are you roming?
O stay and heare, your true loues coming,
That can sing both high and low.
Trip no further prettie sweeting.
Iourneys end in louers meeting,
Euery wise mans sonne doth know.
An.
Excellent good, ifaith.
Excellent good, ifaith.
To.
Good, good.
Good, good.
Clo.
What is loue, tis not heereafter,
Present mirth, hath present laughter:
What's to come, is still vnsure.
In delay there lies no plentie,
Then come kisse me sweet and twentie:
Youths a stuffe will not endure.
What is loue, tis not heereafter,
Present mirth, hath present laughter:
What's to come, is still vnsure.
In delay there lies no plentie,
Then come kisse me sweet and twentie:
Youths a stuffe will not endure.
An.
A mellifluous voyce, as I am true knight.
A mellifluous voyce, as I am true knight.
To.
A contagious breath.
A contagious breath.
An.
Very sweet, and contagious ifaith.
Very sweet, and contagious ifaith.
To.
To heare by the nose, it is dulcet in contagion.
But shall we make the Welkin dance indeed? Shall wee
rowze the night-Owle in a Catch, that will drawe three
soules out of one Weauer? Shall we do that?
To heare by the nose, it is dulcet in contagion.
But shall we make the Welkin dance indeed? Shall wee
rowze the night-Owle in a Catch, that will drawe three
soules out of one Weauer? Shall we do that?
And.
And you loue me, let's doo't: I am dogge at a Catch.
And you loue me, let's doo't: I am dogge at a Catch.
Clo.
Byrlady sir, and some dogs will catch well.
Byrlady sir, and some dogs will catch well.
An.
Most certaine: Let our Catch be, Thou Knaue.
Most certaine: Let our Catch be, Thou Knaue.
Clo.
Hold thy peace, thou Knaue knight. I shall be
constrain'd in't, to call thee knaue, Knight.
Hold thy peace, thou Knaue knight. I shall be
constrain'd in't, to call thee knaue, Knight.
An.
'Tis not the first time I haue constrained one to
call me knaue. Begin foole: it begins, Hold thy peace.
'Tis not the first time I haue constrained one to
call me knaue. Begin foole: it begins, Hold thy peace.
Clo.
I shall neuer begin if I hold my peace.
I shall neuer begin if I hold my peace.
An.
Catch sungGood ifaith: Come begin.
Catch sungGood ifaith: Come begin.
Enter Maria.
Mar.
What a catterwalling doe you keepe heere? If
my Ladie haue not call'd vp her Steward Maluolio, and
bid him turne you out of doores, neuer trust me.
What a catterwalling doe you keepe heere? If
my Ladie haue not call'd vp her Steward Maluolio, and
bid him turne you out of doores, neuer trust me.
To.
My Lady's a Catayan, we are politicians, Maluolios
a Peg-a-ramsie, and Three merry men be wee. Am not I
consanguinious? Am I not of her blood: tilly vally. Ladie,
There dwelt a man in Babylon, Lady, Lady.
My Lady's a Catayan, we are politicians, Maluolios
a Peg-a-ramsie, and Three merry men be wee. Am not I
consanguinious? Am I not of her blood: tilly vally. Ladie,
There dwelt a man in Babylon, Lady, Lady.
Clo.
Beshrew me, the knights in admirable fooling.
Beshrew me, the knights in admirable fooling.
An.
I, he do's well enough if he be dispos'd, and so do I too:
he does it with a better grace, but I do it more naturall.
I, he do's well enough if he be dispos'd, and so do I too:
he does it with a better grace, but I do it more naturall.
To.
O the twelfe day of December.
O the twelfe day of December.
Mar.
For the loue o' God peace.
For the loue o' God peace.
Enter Maluolio.
Mal.
My masters are you mad? Or what are you?
Haue you no wit, manners, nor honestie, but to gabble
like Tinkers at this time of night? Do yee make an Alehouse
of my Ladies house, that ye squeak out your Coziers
Catches without any mitigation or remorse of voice?
Is there no respect of place, persons, nor time in you?
My masters are you mad? Or what are you?
Haue you no wit, manners, nor honestie, but to gabble
like Tinkers at this time of night? Do yee make an Alehouse
of my Ladies house, that ye squeak out your Coziers
Catches without any mitigation or remorse of voice?
Is there no respect of place, persons, nor time in you?
To.
We did keepe time sir in our Catches. Snecke vp.
We did keepe time sir in our Catches. Snecke vp.
Mal.
Sir Toby, I must be round with you. My Lady
bad me tell you, that though she harbors you as her
kinsman, she's nothing ally'd to your disorders. If you can
separate your selfe and your misdemeanors, you are welcome
to the house: if not, and it would please you to take
leaue of her, she is very willing to bid you farewell.
Sir Toby, I must be round with you. My Lady
bad me tell you, that though she harbors you as her
kinsman, she's nothing ally'd to your disorders. If you can
separate your selfe and your misdemeanors, you are welcome
to the house: if not, and it would please you to take
leaue of her, she is very willing to bid you farewell.
To.
Farewell deere heart, since I must needs be gone.
Farewell deere heart, since I must needs be gone.
Mar.
Nay good Sir Toby.
Nay good Sir Toby.
Clo.
His eyes do shew his dayes are almost done.
His eyes do shew his dayes are almost done.
Mal.
Is't euen so?
Is't euen so?
To.
But I will neuer dye.
But I will neuer dye.
Clo.
Sir Toby there you lye.
Sir Toby there you lye.
Mal.
This is much credit to you.
This is much credit to you.
To.
Shall I bid him go.
Shall I bid him go.
Clo.
What and if you do?
What and if you do?
To.
Shall I bid him go, and spare not?
Shall I bid him go, and spare not?
Clo.
O no, no, no, no, you dare not.
O no, no, no, no, you dare not.
To.
Out o' tune sir, ye lye: Art any more then a Steward?
Dost thou thinke because thou art vertuous, there
shall be no more Cakes and Ale?
Out o' tune sir, ye lye: Art any more then a Steward?
Dost thou thinke because thou art vertuous, there
shall be no more Cakes and Ale?
Clo.
Yes by S. Anne, and Ginger shall bee hotte y'th mouth too.
Yes by S. Anne, and Ginger shall bee hotte y'th mouth too.
To.
Th'art i'th right. Goe sir, rub your Chaine with
crums. A stope of Wine Maria.
Th'art i'th right. Goe sir, rub your Chaine with
crums. A stope of Wine Maria.
Mal.
Mistris Mary, if you priz'd my Ladies fauour
at any thing more then contempt, you would not giue
meanes for this vnciuill rule; she shall know of it by this
Exithand.
Mistris Mary, if you priz'd my Ladies fauour
at any thing more then contempt, you would not giue
meanes for this vnciuill rule; she shall know of it by this
Exithand.
Mar.
Go shake your eares.
Go shake your eares.
An.
'Twere as good a deede as to drink when a mans
a hungrie, to challenge him the field, and then to breake
promise with him, and make a foole of him.
'Twere as good a deede as to drink when a mans
a hungrie, to challenge him the field, and then to breake
promise with him, and make a foole of him.
To.
Doo't knight, Ile write thee a Challenge: or Ile
deliuer thy indignation to him by word of mouth.
Doo't knight, Ile write thee a Challenge: or Ile
deliuer thy indignation to him by word of mouth.
Mar.
Sweet Sir Toby be patient for to night: Since
the youth of the Counts was to day with my Lady, she is
much out of quiet. For Monsieur Maluolio, let me alone
with him: If I do not gull him into a nayword, and make
him a common recreation, do not thinke I haue witte
enough to lye straight in my bed: I know I can do it.
Sweet Sir Toby be patient for to night: Since
the youth of the Counts was to day with my Lady, she is
much out of quiet. For Monsieur Maluolio, let me alone
with him: If I do not gull him into a nayword, and make
him a common recreation, do not thinke I haue witte
enough to lye straight in my bed: I know I can do it.
To.
Possesse vs, possesse vs, tell vs something of him.
Possesse vs, possesse vs, tell vs something of him.
Mar.
Marrie sir, sometimes he is a kinde of Puritane.
Marrie sir, sometimes he is a kinde of Puritane.
An.
O, if I thought that, Ide beate him like a dogge.
O, if I thought that, Ide beate him like a dogge.
To.
What for being a Puritan, thy exquisite reason,
deere knight.
What for being a Puritan, thy exquisite reason,
deere knight.
An.
I haue no exquisite reason for't, but I haue reason
good enough.
I haue no exquisite reason for't, but I haue reason
good enough.
Mar.
The diu'll a Puritane that hee is, or any thing
constantly but a time-pleaser, an affection'd Asse, that
cons State without booke, and vtters it by great swarths.
The best perswaded of himselfe: so cram'd (as he thinkes)
with excellencies, that it is his grounds of faith, that all
that looke on him, loue him: and on that vice in him, will
my reuenge finde notable cause to worke.
The diu'll a Puritane that hee is, or any thing
constantly but a time-pleaser, an affection'd Asse, that
cons State without booke, and vtters it by great swarths.
The best perswaded of himselfe: so cram'd (as he thinkes)
with excellencies, that it is his grounds of faith, that all
that looke on him, loue him: and on that vice in him, will
my reuenge finde notable cause to worke.
To.
What wilt thou do?
What wilt thou do?
Mar.
I will drop in his way some obscure Epistles of
loue, wherein by the colour of his beard, the shape of his
legge, the manner of his gate, the expressure of his eye,
forehead, and complection, he shall finde himselfe most
feelingly personated. I can write very like my Ladie
your Neece, on a forgotten matter wee can hardly make
distinction of our hands.
I will drop in his way some obscure Epistles of
loue, wherein by the colour of his beard, the shape of his
legge, the manner of his gate, the expressure of his eye,
forehead, and complection, he shall finde himselfe most
feelingly personated. I can write very like my Ladie
your Neece, on a forgotten matter wee can hardly make
distinction of our hands.
To.
Excellent, I smell a deuice.
Excellent, I smell a deuice.
An.
I hau't in my nose too.
I hau't in my nose too.
To.
He shall thinke by the Letters that thou wilt drop
that they come from my Neece, and that shee's in loue
with him.
He shall thinke by the Letters that thou wilt drop
that they come from my Neece, and that shee's in loue
with him.
Mar.
My purpose is indeed a horse of that colour.
My purpose is indeed a horse of that colour.
An.
And your horse now would make him an Asse.
And your horse now would make him an Asse.
Mar.
Asse, I doubt not.
Asse, I doubt not.
An.
O twill be admirable.
O twill be admirable.
Mar.
Sport royall I warrant you: I know my Physicke
will worke with him, I will plant you two, and let
the Foole make a third, where he shall finde the Letter:
obserue his construction of it: For this night to bed, and
Exitdreame on the euent: Farewell.
Sport royall I warrant you: I know my Physicke
will worke with him, I will plant you two, and let
the Foole make a third, where he shall finde the Letter:
obserue his construction of it: For this night to bed, and
Exitdreame on the euent: Farewell.
To.
Good night Penthisilea.
Good night Penthisilea.
An.
Before me she's a good wench.
Before me she's a good wench.
To.
She's a beagle true bred, and one that adores me: what o'that?
She's a beagle true bred, and one that adores me: what o'that?
An.
I was ador'd once too.
I was ador'd once too.
To.
Let's to bed knight: Thou hadst neede send for more money.
Let's to bed knight: Thou hadst neede send for more money.
An.
If I cannot recouer your Neece, I am a foule way out.
If I cannot recouer your Neece, I am a foule way out.
To.
Send for money knight, if thou hast her not i'th
end, call me Cut.
Send for money knight, if thou hast her not i'th
end, call me Cut.
An.
If I do not, neuer trust me, take it how you will.
If I do not, neuer trust me, take it how you will.
To.
Come, come, Ile go burne some Sacke, tis too late
Exeunt.to go to bed now: Come knight, come knight.
Come, come, Ile go burne some Sacke, tis too late
Exeunt.to go to bed now: Come knight, come knight.