Sleeping Beauty (Howard)
Scene I
[edit]A special train, a chair car, occupied by students. An upperclassman is attempting to sleep.
Upperclassman: “Things have quieted down and I’ll get a chance for a nap.”
He dozes.
A class-mate: “Hey, wake up! All out for Hunkusville!”
Upperclassman: “Aw, set on a tack.” He dozes.
A Freshman begins blowing a horn.
Upperclassman: “Enough is too darned much!” He chases all the Freshmen out. He dozes.
Scene II
[edit]Upperclassman is snoring contentedly.
Somebody drops the brsses of the brass drum.
Upperclassman: “Who—what—hey, what time is it?”
The porter: “One-thirty, suh.”
Upperclassman: “Fine. Everybody’s asleep now. Now for a good nap.” He dozes. The train whistles for a station.
Upperclassman: “Curses!” He dozes.
Scene III
[edit]A few minutes later. A flock of girls come through.
Girls (supposedly singing): “I gotta gal, her name is Lulu! I love Lulu, I love Lulu, darling!”
Upperclassman jumps seven feet out of seat: “Ye gods, what next!”
Girls: “Seventeenth verse, same as the fist, I love Lulu” —exit.
Upperclassman: “Applesauce.” He dozes.
Scene IV
[edit]Upperclassman sleeping. Girls return.
Girls, still singing: “Seven hundredth verse, same as the fist, I love Lulu, I love Lulu, darling!”
Upperclassman develops deep and snduring hatred for the name Lulu.
Upperclassman: “Hey, what time is it?”
The porter: “Two-thirty, suh.”
Upperclassman: How much longer before we pull in?”
The porter: “One two hours, suh.”
Girls: “Here’s a nice place to sit; you don’t mind do you?”
They sing: “Eight hundredth verse, same as the first—“
Upperclassman: “No, I don’t mind.” Grinds teeth and bites hunks out of chiar arm.
One hour later.
Girls: “Seven thousandth verse, same as the first, I gotta girl, her name is Lulu, I love Lulu—“
Upperclassman: Conductor, is there no chance at all for a train robbery, hold-ups, murders and all that you know?”
Conductor: “No chance at all, sir.”
Upperclassman: “Darn.”
Exeunt.
This work is in the public domain in the United States because it was published before January 1, 1929.
The longest-living author of this work died in 1936, so this work is in the public domain in countries and areas where the copyright term is the author's life plus 87 years or less. This work may be in the public domain in countries and areas with longer native copyright terms that apply the rule of the shorter term to foreign works.
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