So's Your Old Man

by Gregory La Cava

Adolph Zukor And Jesse L. Lasky
PRESENT
W. C. FIELDS
IN
SO'S YOUR OLD MAN
A GREGORY LA CAVA
PRODUCTION
with ALICE JOYCE and CHARLES ROGERS

From Julian Streets story "Mr. Bisbee's Princess."
Winner of the O. Henry Memorial Prize of the best short story of 1915

WILLIAM LE BARON, Associate Producer, Eastern States
A Paramount Picture
Copyright MCMXXVI Paramount Picture Zukor Lasky

DIRECTED
by
GREGORY LA CAVA

Adapted by Howard Emmett Rogers and Tom J. Geraghty
Screen Play by J. Clarkson Miller
Production Editor Ralph Block	Film and Title Editor Julian Johnson
Photographed by George Webber	Title Decorations by John Held, Jr.

When distinguished strangers came to Waukeagus, N. J., they were shown the Shoe Factory, Riverside Park——and the home of the Murchisons, on the upper West Side.

Young Robert Murchison had just reached the ukulele stage of calf love.

. . . Charles Rogers

Unfortunately, a lot of poor people had somehow got into Waukeagus.

Alice Bisbee——convincing evidence that even poor people can have attractive children.

. . . Catherine Reichert

"I've told mother all about you——and she's coming here to call——this afternoon."

Mrs. Bisbee——whose social existence had been trampled to death between the wash-tubs and the kitchen stove.

. . . Marcia Harris

"Mother! Just think! MRS. MURCHISON is coming to call on you this afternoon."

The workshop and laboratory of Samuel Bisbee, Esq.

SAMUEL BISBEE
GLAZIER

W. C. FIELDS
as
Samuel Bisbee, inventor and most important person in Waukeagus——according to Samuel Bisbee.

Two fellow-scientists——

. . . Jerry Sinclair
. . . Franck Montgomery

"Boys, here's success to Bisbee's Non-Breakable Windshield!"

Washington, D. C.

My dear Mr. Bisbee:

Automobile men are naturally skeptical
but if you have really perfected a clear-
glass, non-breakable windshield, it is
worth a million dollars. Please meet the
convention promptly at ten, next Thursday

Mrs. Bisbee received Mrs. Murchison with hopes for the best——and fears for the worst.

Mrs. A. Brandewyne Murchison——bell-cow of the Waukeagus social herd.

. . . Julia Ralph

"I suppose you know, my good woman, that your daughter is trying to turn my son's head…?"

"Of course, the great social gulf between my family and yours would make such an affair impossible."

"Possibly you don't know, Mrs. Murchison, that I come from the Warrens of Virginia."

"That's Nancy Warren——grandniece of Martha Washington Warren."

"Are you sure this album belongs to you?"

"Boys, this is a big day for you. You're going to be the first to see the Bisbee Non-Breakable Windshield in action!"

"My dear, I am delighted to find you come from such a good family."

"Mrs Murchison——I——I'm so anxious to have you meet my husband."

"I knew your old man when he only had one pair of pants!"

"The Warrens were high-hats, all right——but there's a lot more life in the old Bisbee album!"

"That's cousin Sadie——she was the best dancer in burlesque, till she lost her voice."

"When I come back from Washington I'll be as big a fish here as you are."

ED for BURG

"I have never been so degraded in my life!"

"I'll not permit you to associate with a girl whose father is such a vulgarian!"

"How dare you call my father names?"

"I'll have you know my father is a gentleman!"

"So's your old man!"

"No dame can pull that stuff on me and get away with it!"

"No wonder my family disowned me for eloping with you!"

"Go to your room! You're just like your father."

"Twenty years of you is enough to discourage any woman!"

In a Washington hotel, the Convention of Automobile Engineers was hitting on all six cylinders.

"I wrote this fellow Bisbee to come here this morning and give us a demonstration."

HOTEL
BOSSERT

NO
PARKING

"This glass of mine is harder to break than a blonde's heart."

"Boys, this demonstration is going to surprise you."

"Stand back, boys! This brick may bounce!"

"Whaddaya think o' that!"

"I moved his car around the corner."

On the train bound for home, Mr. Bisbee tried to decide between self-destruction and the ridicule of his fellow-townsmen.

POISON
FOR EXTERNAL USE ONLY

Two helpful neighbors from Bisbee's home town.

"Sam Bisbee——drunk again!"

"Is that so? You and who else?"

In a compartment on the same train was another lonely figure.

Her Highness… Princess Lescaboura, of the Spanish province of Andrasia.

. . . Alice Joyce

MY DIARY

Running away—God knows
where—and I wonder if
Prince Alonzo will miss me?
Perhaps not.… here in America
he has had no time for his wife.

Perhaps I am not appreciated
because I am not useful.
If I could be of service
—even if it were only to
help some poor person—

"Let me put some iodine on it."

"Don't mention it, Rosita——it's seldom I have an opportunity to do things for others."

"Why don't you drown yourself——it's funnier."

"Now see what you done——you fathead!"

"I must have stumbled!"

"I might have broken my neck!"

IODINE
POISON CAU[TION]

POISON

"Don't do it, girlie——it don't pay."

"You swallow it one day and the next day you're sorry."

"I know just how you feel——"

"If you think you got troubles——wait till you hear mine!"

"He's not only drunk——he's got a woman with him!"

"—and then this Murchison dame shows up——"

"I was a perfect gentleman."

"But I told her a few things——the big hawk——"

"——so, y'see——if I go back home now everybody'll laugh at me."

"Maybe we'd better take poison, after all."

"You've helped me so much, Mr. Bisbee, that I'd like to do something for you in return."

"I guess nobody can help me but a fairy princess … and there ain't no such thing.…"

"I wouldn't be too sure of that. You never can tell when you'll meet a fairy princess."

"Wau—keee—guuus! Wau—keee—guuus"

"Perhaps you'll see me again, Mr. Bisbee. You deserve help——and I have an idea."

"Even though we are both unhappy——we have got to carry on!"

"Say, girlie, what's your name?"

"You may call me Marie."

SEE THE WORLD THROUGH
BISBEE'S WINDOWS

By the time Mr. Bisbee got back to Waukeagus, he was the most talked-of man in town.

TOBACCO & PIPES

[…]Y & CIGARS

"How was she, Sam——pretty nice?"

"Better have a little bracer, Sam, before you meet the Missus. She's been hearin' a lot about ye!"

"Get away from here——you skeik!"

"You don't have to do much to get a big reception in this town!"

Roach
EXTERMINATOR

"I gave you the wrong jug—the joke's on me!"

It was three days before Sam Bisbee felt sufficiently braced to go home and meet the Missus.

SPECIAL
HARTZ MOUNTAIN
CANARIES
3$^0.

 

PARROTS.
CAGES & FEED

"Y'gonna give y'wife that owl?"

"I allus take m'wife a pet——sh'likes pets——fixes things up O. K."

JERRY'S
BIRD STORE
BIRDS & ANIMALS

PRINCESS COMING
HERE TODAY!

---

WEALTH AND FASHION OF OUR CITY WILL GREET
SPANISH ROYALTY

---

PRINCESS LESCABOURA, TRAVELING INCOGNITO, RE-
LUCTANTLY ADMITS INTENTIONS TO ALERT NEW
YORK CORRESPONDENT OF WAUKEAGUS ARGUS
—OBJECT OF VISIT A MYSTERY—RECEPTION
COMMITTEE HEADED BY SOCIAL AND
BUSINESS LEADERS

WAUKEAGUS

"This is a wonderful reception, but I intended my visit to be purely personal."

"We wouldn't help but wonder, Your Royal Highness, why you should honor Waukeagus with Your Royal Presence."

"I've come to visit my old friend, Sam Bisbee."

"Did she say BISBEE?"

"Did you say BISBEE?"

"There is a Bisbee in this town, Your Highness——but he's not one of our best citizens."

"Samuel Bisbee did a great service for my country after the Spanish-American war, and I came here to thank him."

WELCOME
TO
WAUKEAGUS

WAUKEAGUS
BOOSTER

"We're sure it's the wrong Bisbee, Your Highness—but is you insist, we'll take you to his home."

"It's a shame you came such a long distance—only to find the wrong person!"

"S'allright——I'll go quietly."

"Brace up——it's the Princess Lescaboura!"

"Don't you remember me, Sam? I'm your old friend the Princess Lescaboura!"

"Thas a great idea!"

"Les go home and try it on th'wife."

"Oh, Mr. Bisbee, won't you ride in my car?"

"I won't ride with that dame!"

"My dear Mrs. Bisbee——you're the luckiest woman in Waukeagus."

"Is my husband dead?"

"BISBEE!"

"Pr'ncess——meet the wife!"

"I'm proud to meet the wife of such a great man."

"Look out——she may be stalling!"

By the end of the week, the Bisbee home had become the stamping-ground of Waukeagus society.

SEE THE WORLD THROUGH
BISBEE'S WINDOWS

"This 'Princess' idea is great stuff——if they don't get wise to us."

"What do you think of my father now?"

"We do hope you will come to the opening of the new Waukeagus Country Club."

"And we want Mr. Bisbee to open the new Golf Links by teeing off the first ball!"

"I don't know anything about golf. I wouldn't even know which end of the caddy to use."

"You'll do it for her——won't you, Sam?"

"I'll try anything, if you say so——but you're taking a big chance!"

"Mr. Bisbee will be delighted!"

The opening of the Waukeagus Golf and Country Club was a great social triumph for Sam Bisbee.

"We shall now ask Mr. Bisbee to drive off the first ball."

"My father wouldn't use ordinary clubs——he makes his own!"

Prince Lescaboura, hearing of his wife's amazing conduct, comes to Waukeagus to investigate.

. . . Charles Beyer

"Say, girlie, I think I've seen that face before——let's not carry this joke too far!"

"This toad has insulted the honored name of Lescaboura——for that I will kill him!"

"It's the guy from Washington——and he's got a cop with him!"

"You poor sap——he's got a million dollar contract for you——and he can't swim!"

A good fairy princess never does things halfway, so it wasn't long before Sam Bisbee's invention had earned its first million.

SEE THE WORLD THROUGH
BISBEE WINDOWS

"——and he says to me which Hazel do you mean? And I comes right back at him and says, 'Bay Rum!'"

"I think my father is the funniest man in the world."

"And I think you're the sweetest little wife in the world."

"It's too bad you can't come to Andrasia with us, Sam."

"We certainly slipped that Princess idea over on them, didn't we, Marie?"

SAM BISBEE

"Daddy——I'm the happiest girl in the world!"

"So's your old man!"

BISBEEBISBEEBISBEE

"If anybody wants me, I'll be in the garage for the next two weeks."

The
End