Songs and Lyrics (Lehrer)/Fugue for Scientists
FUGUE FOR SCIENTISTS
words by Tom Lehrer
music: "Fugue for Tinhorns" by Frank Loesser, from Guys and Dolls
MATH:
I'd like to say right out
That math's a thing, no doubt,
The other sciences would be lost without
It's true, it's true
Albert Einstein says it's true
And if Einstein says it's true, it's true, it's true.
PHYSICS:
But as a scientist
I really must insist
That it is physics that ought to head the list
That's right, that's right
[Stephen Hawking] says that's right [originally Professor Oldenberg]
And if [Hawking] says that's right, that's right, that's right.
CHEMISTRY:
But, boys, I can not see
How you can not agree
That the most important is chemistry
Oh yes, oh yes
[President Conant] says oh yes
And if [Conant] says oh yes, oh yes, oh yes.
MATH:
But after all is said
Math is way ahead
Who else can do research while lying in bed?
It's true, etc.
PHYSICS:
The atom bomb's a bit
Of genius, you'll admit
Just think of all the people we've killed with it
That's right, etc.
CHEMISTRY:
But listen here to me
Where would your A-bombs be
If it were not for little old chemistry?
Oh yes, etc.
MATH:
But let me make the point
There's things that should be loint
Besides inventing ways to blow up the joint
It's true, etc.
PHYSICS:
I really can't condemn
The guys who take up chem
For learning how to cook may appeal to them
That's right, etc.
CHEMISTRY:
But you can be sure, chum
That in the years to come
We are the guys you 're gonna be hearin' from
MATH: Math!!
PHYSICS: Physics!
CHEMISTRY: Chemistry!
ALL: That's us!