Songs and Lyrics (Lehrer)/Pollution

by Thomas Andrew Lehrer

POLLUTION

words and music by Tom Lehrer

If you visit American city,
You will find it very pretty.
Just two things of which you must beware:
Don't drink the water and don't breathe the air!

  Pollution, pollution!
  They got smog and sewage and mud.
  Turn on your tap
  And get hot and cold running crud!

See the halibuts and the sturgeons
Being wiped out by detergeons.
Fish gotta swim and birds gotta fly,
But they don't last long if they try.

  Pollution, pollution!
  You can use the latest toothpaste,
  And then rinse your mouth
  With industrial waste.

Just go out for a breath of air
And you'll be ready for Medicare.
The city streets are really quite a thrill --
If the hoods don't get you, the monoxide will.

  Pollution, pollution!
  Wear a gas mask and a veil.
  Then you can breathe,
  Long as you don't inhale!

Lots of things there that you can drink,
But stay away from the kitchen sink!
^[1]The breakfast garbage that you throw into the Bay
They drink at lunch in San Jose.

  So go to the city,
  See the crazy people there.
  Like lambs to the slaughter,
  They're drinking the water
  And breathing [cough] the air!

1. This couplet was recorded in San Francisco in 1965 and can be replaced by:

   Throw out your breakfast garbage, and I've got a hunch
   That the folks downstream will drink it for lunch.

   There are other versions appropriate for particular cities.