Songs and Lyrics (Lehrer)/Send the Marines

by Thomas Andrew Lehrer

SEND THE MARINES

words and music by Tom Lehrer

When someone makes a move
Of which we don't approve,
Who is it that always intervenes?
U.N. and O.A.S.,They have their place, I guess,alt:We know that the UN
They have their place, I guess,U.N. and O.A.S.,alt:Is helpful now and then
But first –
Send the Marines!

We'll send them all we've got,^[1]
John Wayne and Randolph Scott;
Remember those exciting fighting scenes?
To the shores of Tripoli,^[2]
But not to Mississippoli,
What do we do?
We send the Marines!

For might makes right,
And till they've seen the light,
They've got to be protected,
All their rights respected,
Till somebody we like can be elected.

Members of the corps
All hate the thought of war.
They'd rather kill them off by peaceful means.
Stop calling it aggression,
Ooh, we hate that expression!
We only want the world to know
That we support the status quo.
They love us everywhere we go,
So when in doubt,
Send the Marines!

1. Five lines replaced in The Madness of George Dubya by:

   Like Mel Gibson and Tom Cruise
   Our heroes never lose
   'Cause all we want is peace by any means
   And so when there's a war on,
   Despite the oxymoron

2. Two lines replaced in Tomfoolery by:

   From the halls of Montezuma
   To show our sense of huma