Spouter's companion/The Old Man, His Son, and Ass

THE OLD MAN, HIS SON, AND ASS.

A country fellow and his son, they tell
In modern fables, had an ass to sell:
For this intent they turn'd it out to play,
And fed so well, that by the destin'd day
They brought the creature into sleek repair,
And drove it gently to a neighb'ring fair.

As they were jogging on, a rural class
Was heard to say, "Look, look there at that ass,
And those two blockheads trudging on each side,
That have not either of 'em sense to ride;
Asses all three," and thus the country folks
On man and boy began to cut their jokes,

Th' old fellow minded nothing what they said,
But every word stuck in the young one's head,
And thus began their comment thereupon:
"Ne'er heed 'em, lad;" "Nay, father, do get on;"
"Not I, indeed;" "Why then, let me, pray;"
"Well, do, and see what prating tongues will say."

The boy was mounted, and they had not got
Much further on, before another knot,
Just as tho ass was passing by, pad, pad,
Cried, "O! that lazy looby of a lad,
How unconcernedly the gaping brute
Lets the poor aged fellow walk a-foot."

Down came the son, on hearing this account,
And begg'd, and pray'd, and made his father mount;
Till a third party on a farther stretch,
"See! see!" exclaim'd, "that old hard-hearted wretch!
How like a justice there he sits, or squire,
Whilo the poor lad keeps wading through the mire."

"Stop," cried the lad, still deeper vex'd in mind,
"Stop, father, stop, let me get on behind;"
This done, they thought they certainly should
please, escape reproaches, and be both at ease;
For having tried each practicable way,
What could be left for jokers now to say?

Still disappointed by succeeding tone;
"Hark ye, you fellow, is that ass your own?
Get off, for shame, or one of you at least;
You both deserve to carry the poor beast,
Ready to drop down upon the road
With such a huge, unconscionable load.

On this they both dismounted, and, some say,
Contriv'd to carry, the remaining way,
The ass between 'em; prints are seen, they add.
The ass supported by the man and lad;
Others omit that fancy in the print,

As overstraining an ingenious hint.

The story that we follow, says, the man
Rubb'd down this ass, and took to his first plan;
Walk'd to the fair and sold him, got his price,
And gave his son this pertinent advice:
"Let talkers talk, stick thou to what is best;
To think of pleasing all is all a jest."