Suggestive programs for special day exercises/Lincoln Day/Life Sketch of Lincoln
ANECDOTES OF LINCOLN.
Fearless in Speech.—One of the numerous paymasters at Washington sought an introduction to Mr. Lincoln. He arrived at the White House quite opportunely, and was introduced to the President by the United States Marshal, with his blandest smile. While shaking hands with the President, the paymaster remarked, “I have no official business with you, Mr. President; I only called to pay my compliments.” “I understand,” replied “honest Abe;” “and from the complaints of the soldiers, I think that is all you do pay.”
Apt in Illustration.—The following is one of Mr. Lincoln’s characteristic stories:—
I once knew a good, sound churchman, whom we’ll call Brown, who was on a committee to erect a bridge over a very dangerous and rapid river. Architect after architect failed, and at last Brown said he had a friend named Jones, who had built several bridges and could build this. ‘Let’s have him in,’ said the committee. In came Jones. “Can you build this bridge, sir?” “Yes,” replied Jones; “I could build a bridge to the infernal regions, if necessary.” The sober committee were horrified; but when Jones retired, Brown thought it but fair to defend his friend. “I know Jones so well,” said he, “and he is so honest a man, and so good an architect, that, if he states soberly and postively that he can build a bridge to Hades—why, I believe it; but I have my doubts about the abutment on the infernal side.” So, Lincoln added, when politicians said they could harmonize the Northern and Southern wings of the Democracy, why, I believed them; but I had my doubts about the abutment on the Southern side.
Humorous Tact.—As soon as the West Virginia State bill passed Congress, Mr. Carlisle, true to his purpose, went at once to the President. “Now, Mr. Lincoln,” said he, “you must veto that bill.” “Well,” said the honest president, with just the least bit in the world of humor, “I’ll tell you what I’ll do; I’ll split the difference and say nothing about it.”
Mirthful Irony.—Judge Baldwin, an old and highly respectable gentleman, solicited a pass outside the Union lines to see a brother in Virginia, but being refused, finally obtained an interview with Lincoln and stated his case. “Have you applied to General Halleck?” inquired the President. “And met with a flat refusal,” said Judge B. “Then you must see Stanton,” continued the President. “I have, and with the same result,” was the reply. “Well, then,” said the President with a smile of good humor, “I can do nothing, for you must know that I have very little influence with this Administration!”
Unselfish Patriotism.—During a conversation on the approaching election, in 1864, a gentleman remarked to President Lincoln that nothing could defeat him but Grant’s capture of Richmond, to be followed by his nomination at Chicago and acceptance. “Well,” said the President, “I feel very much like the man who said he didn’t want to die particularly, but if he had got to die, that was precisely the disease he would like to die of.”
Note.—These anecdotes may be made a part of the quotation exercise.