Sweden's Laureate: Selected Poems of Verner von Heidenstam/The Pilgrim's Yule Song
THE PILGRIM'S YULE SONG.
(From "Hans Alienus.")
Autumn rains and the desert sunBleached my pilgrim's attire.Just at cock-crow my day was begunEre yet the dawn spread higher.Slowly, drearilyI'd be trudgingSwedenward, and not until eveWould I wearilySeek for lodging—Straw by the hearth is what they'd leave.
Tales of crusades and a credulous moodGuided the thoughts that stirred me.Drawn by my stories, the peasants stoodHushed at the door and heard me.Women, listening,Crowded tightlyEach to each in a spell-bound row.Sparks were glistening,Spouted lightlyUp from the licking flames below.
Pilgrim adventures along the road,Such would I tell unbidden.Never the blighting flame I showedDeep in my spirit hidden. 'Tis not the dutifulHoly brotherGoes concealed in the cloak I wear.'Tis not the beautifulBright God's-motherWho is the queen of my utmost prayer.
I have strayed about in the dreadRegion of Phantoms lonely,Long amid bones have talked with the dead,Wraiths of the desert only,Till by nearing themSoon I proved them.Sobs and laughter we came to share;And from fearing themLast I loved them,Sought a home with the phantoms there.
Phantoms possessed me—in lovely sheenRose now a world long buried.Nineveh maidens with wreaths of greenDecked the staff that I carried.Stars had a shimmeringBible clearness,Faint-sighing music around me stole,Till with a glimmeringMagic nearnessOld-time beauty entranced my soul.
Sewn on my cope, the mussel-shell Roars with Ionian surges.Echo of cymbal and drum as wellInto the tumult merges.Centaurs with ponderousHoof-beats ringingCarry off maidens and snort in pride.Terrible, thunderousLaughter and singingMark the time of their galloping stride.
Faithless, I fled the land of shades,Longingly turned again toCrowded and glittering promenades—Nay, but that was in vain, too.Life-wards wooing me,Towns and lands wouldRaise around me their loud delight;But, pursuing me,Spectral hands wouldSteal across and obscure my sight.
Freely the young around me greetAges that newly awaken.I, like a wraith amid all I meet,Move on the road I have taken.Moderns, gallantlyBending bows ofSinew and steel, shoots words apace;I go silently, No man knows ofHim who strays from the phantom's place.
Never can I with my old delightSpeak of the hour that passes;Thoughts will be groping day and nightDown in the deep crevasses,Where no flickeringTorch gives otherLight than a subterranean glare.Gaily bickeringFriend and brotherNever with me the board will share.
Screaming cranes have already flown.Snow-flakes are deftly layingBolster and pillow on ledge and stone.Windows, the huts betraying,Shine forth clouded. ASparrow is wingingToward the barn with its sheaves of wheat.Evening-shrouded, aBoy is singingYule-tide songs from his waggon-seat.
Voices of childhood years, toward youNow through the snow I stumble;But to my heart you have lost the clueAnd in my ears but mumble.Oh, ye cumberless, Mild, ElysianVoices, in vain would you soothe my soul.Threatful, with numberlessRepetition,Scenes of Hades before me roll.
Lethe's tide makes the soul forget;I, blind and headlong-hearted,Drank of dark Styx—and my gaze was setOnly on times departed.Pale ghosts, grieving me,Lure me everOnly to dream by Charon's flood.Gay Life, deceiving me,Grants me neverFruits that, beckoning, thrill my blood.
Fettered to life, I roam the earth.Driven without cessation,Seeking, but finding only dearth,Stranger in every nation.Hades recaptured me.Life has punishedAll of the wraith-kind who came her way.Beauty enraptured me,Realms long vanishedWon my soul to be theirs for aye.