Tayama Katai and His Novel Entitled Futon/Futon/Chapter 6
VI
Two days later she received a telegram advising her that he would be arriving at Shimbashi Station at six o'clock in the evening. Yoshiko held the telegram, at a loss. But as Tokio could not permit a young girl to go out alone at night, he did not allow her to meet him at the station.
The following day she visited her lover saying that she would caution him about his ideas and then suggest that he return to Kyoto. He was staying at the Tsuruya Inn which was just in front of the station.
When Tokio returned from his office, he was welcomed at the entrance hall by Yoshiko whom he thought would not have yet returned. According to her, Tanaka would not return to Kyoto, since he had come up after making complete arrangements. Yoshiko had argued to the point of nearly quarreling with him, but he gave her a flat refusal. After Tanaka heard my opinion, he understood the position, although originally he had come up to Tokyo to seek the help of Tokio. He well understood that his presence in Tokyo would be awkward for Tokio's supervision of Yoshiko. But he said that since he could not go home, after all his arrangements, he had no alternative but to seek by all means a job and try to live independently carrying out his objective. Tokio felt uneasy.
Tokio thought to let him do as he pleased, and it would be best to leave him alone. But how could he remain completely indifferent to him as one of those concerned? There were no signs of her visiting Tanaka for a couple of days after that; Yoshiko came home on time from school, but Tokio's heart burned with jealousy and doubt thinking that she might have dropped in to see her lover on the pretence of going to school.
Tokio was worried. His thoughts wavered in judgment several times a day. One time he thought he was prepared to sacrifice himself for their sake. Another time, he thought that he would stop her love affair at one stroke by revealing the true situation to her parents. But, in his present state of mind he could not venture to select either of these plans.
Tokio's wife chanced to whisper to him, "She's upstairs. . . ." imitating sewing with her hands and she continued in a low voice, "I'll bet. . . . she is going to give it to him--a navy blue student's haori coat with a white splash pattern! She even bought a pair of long white cotton tassels."
"Is that so?"
"Yes," his wife smiled.
Tokio had not the least desire to smile.
Blushing, Yoshiko said to Tokio that she would be a little late returning from school that day.
He asked, "Are you going to his place?"
She replied, "No! I'm just going to drop by a friend's place to talk about a small matter."
That evening, Tokio determined to visit Tanaka at his lodgings.
Tanaka made a formal apology in an eloquent and oratorical tone, "Sensei, I really don't know what excuse to make." Tanaka, who was of medium hight, a little stout, and of a light complexion, said this with prayerful eyes, as if he sought sympathy.
Tokio, who was very angry, said, "But, if you understand the situation, why don't you do something about it? I'm speaking out of concern for both your futures. Yoshiko is my pupil. As a matter of my responsibility, I can't allow myself to let her give up her studies. If you insist on staying in Tokyo, I must choose one or the other plan: Either Yoshiko returns home or I disclose to her parents your relationship and seek their permission for marriage. I don't think that you are such an egoistic man as to force your loved one, for your own advantage, to be buried in oblivion in the mountains. I hear that you are tired of engaging in religion on account of this recent affair but that's merely one way of thinking; if only you have patience and remain in Kyoto, everything will turn out satisfactorily, and your relationship will have hopes for the future."
"I understand very well what you mean."
"Yet, you can't do it?"
"I'm terribly sorry....I'd not be able to go back there now, even if I wanted to do so, as I have sold my school uniform and hat."
"In that case, are you going to force Yoshiko to go home?"
Tanaka did not reply.
"Shall I inform her parents about this?"
He still kept silent. After a while Tanaka said, "I have no intention of connecting my coming up to Tokyo with making such a choice. Even if I stay here, there will be no trouble between the two of us."
"Of course, you may say so. But, if you stay here, I'll be unable to supervise her, as one can never tell when love might not be able to be controlled."
"I'm sure, such a thing will never happen to us."
"Are you able to swear to that?"
"If I can just study quietly, nothing will happen."
"That's what worries me."
For a long time they had been seated facing each other repeating this rambling conversation. Tokio encouraged him in various ways to return home by pointing out the advantages for their future, the manly sacrifice he would be making and how it would expedite their progress towards marriage. Tokio saw that Tanaka was neither the handsome man nor the intellectual that he had imagined. What made an immediate impression on Tokio when he first met Tanaka in a sultry room having three walls at the inn located in Sanban-Chō in Kōjimachi was his thoroughly unpleasant attitude, fostered by Christianity, which was too smug, and unsuitably mature for his age. His speech smacked of the Kyoto dialect, his face was pallid--he did have a certain gentleness about him, but what had moved Yoshiko to choose him from all the young men there were was a mystery to Tokio. What Tokio found the most unpleasant about him was his lack of simple-hearted frankness, and his attitude to justify, for form's sake, his own sins and shortcomings by making various excuses. However, to tell the truth, these impressions were not perceived immediately nor clearly reflected into his passionate brain; on seeing a small traveling bag lying in a corner of the room and a pitifully worn out plain white summer kimono, Tokio recalled dreams that he had had in his younger days, and felt compassion for Tanaka who was also troubled over his love affair.
They talked for over an hour, sitting without crossing their legs in this sultry room. To the very end their talk got nowhere. At last Tokio left for home, saying in parting, "Anyway, think it over."
He felt somewhat ridiculous. Thinking he had done a foolish act, he scoffed at himself. He remembered paying empty compliments to Tanaka and in order to conceal his own secret, promising to become a cordial guardian of their love. He also remembered saying that he would take the trouble to introduce him to a certain person who, in turn, would find him easy translation work.
He rebuked himself for being too weak-spirited and too much of a good fellow.
He often wondered. Would it be better to let her parents know? But it was of great importance to him to decide what attitude he should take before informing them of it. Tokio felt a very heavy responsibility as he believed that he held the key to their love affair. He could not bear to sacrifice Yoshiko's love for his improper jealousy and unjustified love, nor could he bear to assume a virtuous air as in his own words "a cordial guardian." On the other hand, he was afraid that Yoshiko's parents might get to know of her love affair and she would be taken home for her parents' sake.
The next night Yoshiko came to Tokio's study, looking down-cast, and explained her hopes in a timid voice. She said to him that no matter how hard she urged Tanaka, he would not return home. Nevertheless, if she informed her parents about her love affair it was obvious that they would not approve, and might, if the time was right, come at once to get her. She swore that as Tanaka came up to Tokyo after a lot of trouble and since they had not fallen in love casually nor was theirs superficial love as might be the case of love between worldly men and women, they would never commit a dishonorable act nor indulge themselves. Literature was a difficult road to follow; Tanaka might not be able to support a family by writing novels; however, if they were going to progress along the same road in the future, they would like to work together. She begged that Tanaka be allowed to remain in Tokyo for the time being. Tokio could not give a flat refusal to her urgent request. He did have doubts as to her chastity based on her behavior at Saga in Kyoto, but on the other hand, he believed her explanation and trusted that no such thing had taken place between the two of them. Reflecting on the experiences of his own youth, he realized that platonic love could be attained, but carnal love could not be so easily put into practice. Whereupon Tokio said if they would not yield to temptation, he could leave the situation alone for the time being, and gave her lessons in great detail on spiritual love, carnal love, and the relationship between love and human life, as well as on the duties which educated and modern women should accept. He explained to her the reason the ancients cautioned women about their chastity was not moral sanctions but to protect women's independence; if a woman once allowed a man to have her body, she would completely loose her freedom; since western women fully understood this condition, there could be no objection to their social intercourse with men; and Japanese modern women should follow in their footsteps. Although these were the themes of his principle lessons, he put particular emphasis on matters concerning modern women.
Yoshiko listened with her head bowed.
Driven by interest Tokio said, "Well then, how is he planning to make a living?"
"He has a small amount of savings, I believe it will last for a month or so...."
"I hope he'll find some appropriate work...." said Tokio.
"To tell the truth, he came up to Tokyo although he had no acquaintances here hoping to depend on your help....so he was very much disappointed...."
"But he's too reckless. I thought so when I met him the day before yesterday, too. In any case, if he acts like that he's helpless," Tokio laughed.
"Please reconsider helping him. Although I have no excuse for giving you more trouble...." Yoshiko blushed and begged for help.
"Better not to worry, it'll come out all right."
After Yoshiko left, Tokio's face suddenly became grim. "Can I handle this love affair? Can I...?" he cross-examined himself. "A young bird should be mated with a young bird. A person of my age no longer has beautiful wings to attract this young bird." When he thought this, he was overcome with an indescribable loneliness. "People say that wife and children are the pleasures of the family, but what meaning do they have? The wife who is living for her children will have a meaning for her existence, but how can the husband who is deprived of his wife by his children, and deprived of his children by his wife help but be desolated?" Tokio stared fixedly at the lamp.
Maupassant's Stronger than Death was open on his desk.
A couple of days later, when Tokio came home from his office at his regular hour and sat down in front of the hibachi, his wife said in a low voice, "He's here today."
"Who?"
"Upstairs....Yoshiko-san's sweetheart," his wife smiled.
"Is that so...."
"Today about one o'clock, some one came to our front door. When I went out I found a student who had a round face, wearing a haori with splashed patterns, and a white-striped hakama.[1] I thought that he might be another one of those students who come with their manuscripts, but he asked if Yoshiko-san was living here. I thought it strange, but when I asked for his name, he replied that his name was Tanaka. Then I realized he was Yoshiko-san's fiancé. He seemed an unpleasant person. I can't understand Yoshiko-san's whimsical mind selecting such a student for her fiancé, when there are so many nice men around. He's hopeless."
"Then, what happened?"
"Although Yoshiko-san was delighted, she seemed to be embarrassed. When I brought up tea for them, Yoshiko-san was sitting in front of her desk. He was facing her. They abruptly stopped talking when they saw me. I thought it strange, and at once came downstairs. Isn't it strange? How can young people do such things nowadays! In my day I could not help being shy just to have a man look at me."
"Times have changed."
"Yes, I know, but even in this day and age they are too modern. They are just the same as demoralized students. Of course it is probably only a similarity in their outward appearance and not their frame of mind. Still, there is something queer about them."
"Such things don't matter. What happened next?"
"Even though O-Tsuru told her that she would go for her, Yoshiko-san said that was quite all right, she would go by herself. She went out, bought some bean-jam cakes and baked sweet potatoes to treat him. O-Tsuru was chuckling to herself. She told me they were really enjoying the baked sweet potatoes when she brought them hot water for tea."
"Tokio could not help but laugh.
His wife continued to talk. "And they were talking for a long time in loud voices. Sometimes they appeared to be arguing and Yoshiko-san seemed able to fend for herself."
"When did he leave?"
"Just a little while ago."
"Is Yoshiko home?"
"No, she went a short distance with him to show him the way."
Tokio frowned.
Yoshiko came in through the back door while they were eating supper. She was breathless and she seemed to have hurried home.
"How far did you go?" Mrs. Takenaka asked.
"To Kagurazaka...." she replied, and turning towards Tokio, she welcomed him in her usual manner; then without stopping clattered upstairs. They expected her to come down soon,but some time went by and still she did not appear. "Yoshiko-san, Yoshiko-san," Mrs. Takenaka called out. A drawn-out "Ye-es" was heard in reply; yet still she did not come down. O-Tsuru went upstairs to get her. At last she came down and sat sidewise by a hashira [a column] leaving her supper untouched.
"Don't you want to eat your supper?" Mrs. Takenaka asked Yoshiko.
"I don't feel like eating, as I feel full...."
"That's because you ate too many sweet potatoes."
"Oh, dear! That's mean, Oku-san!" Yoshiko replied, pretending to chide her.
Mrs. Takenaka smiled, "Yoshiko-san, what's the matter?"
"Wh--y?" she replied in a drawn-out voice.
"You should know."
"Never mind, Oku-san." Again she looked sharply at her.
Tokio silently observed their banter. Of course he was disturbed. A sense of discomfort overwhelmed him. Yoshiko glanced at Tokio's face and realized that he was in a bad mood. Thereupon, she promptly changed her attitude and said, "Sensei, Tanaka visited me today."
"So I heard."
"Tanaka said he must personally see you and express his gratitude; he will pay you a formal visit. He asked me to convey his regards to you."
"Is that so," he said as he abruptly stood up and entered his study.
Even if Tokio supervised Yoshiko by having her live upstairs in his house, he could not feel easy as long as her lover was going to stay in Tokyo. It would be absolutely impossible for him to prevent the two from meeting. He could not forbid them to write letters, nor could he say anything when Yoshiko openly gave him advance notice by saying, "Today, I'll be one hour late, as I'm dropping by to see Tanaka." Nor could Tokio now prohibit Tanaka's visits, although he felt exceedingly uncomfortable about them. Before he knew it, Tokio found himself taken by these two as a "cordial guardian" for their love.
Tokio was always restless. He had various kinds of papers to work on which he was requested to complete by his publishing company. He wanted to earn money. However, no matter how hard he tried, he could not concentrate on writing compositions. Even though he forced himself to write, his ideas rarely settled into shape. He tried to read a book but could not concentrate for more than two pages. Every time he saw the passionate behavior of these two lovers, his blood boiled with anger, and he vented his rage on his innocent wife by drinking saké. Occasionally he kicked over his small dining table saying that he did not like the meal which his wife had prepared. Quite often he came home drunk after midnight. Yoshiko was quite worried about his disorderly behavior and said apologetically to his wife, "As I gave him cause to worry, I'm to blame." Yoshiko tried as much as possible to hide her exchange of letters with Tanaka and one of every three visits with him she made by secretly cutting classes. Upon noticing Yoshiko's secretive behavior Tokio's anguish increased all the more.
It was late in autumn and a cold winterly wind began to blow over the fields. The leaves of the ginko trees in the grove behind the house had turned yellow and looked beautiful against the evening sky. The curled dried leaves that had fallen tumbled with a rustling sound against the fences along the road. The shrill voices of butcher-birds were heard. It was about this time that the love affair between Yoshiko and Tanaka at last began to attract undue attention. Unable to refrain from interfering because of his supervisory duties, Tokio urged her to write her parents back home in detail about her love affair. Tokio also sent a long letter to Yoshiko's father about her affair. Even on this occasion Tokio tried to win Yoshiko's gratitude for himself. Tokio congratulating himself for his heroic sacrifice, took on the role of a "cordial guardian" of their love affair.
Several letters reached Tokio from the Bitchū mountain region.
- ↑ Divided skirt for men's formal wear.