The American Democrat/On Deportment
ON DEPORTMENT.
Much of the pleasure of social communication depends on the laws of deportment. Deportment may be divided into that, which, by marking refinement and polish, is termed breeding; and that, which, though less distinguished for finesse and finish, denoting a sense of civility and respect, is usually termed manners. The first can only be expected in men and women of the world, or those who are properly styled gentlemen and ladies; while an absence of the last is a proof of vulgarity and coarseness, that every citizen of a free state should be desirous of avoiding. Breeding is always pleasant, though often arbitrary in its rules; but manners are indispensable to civilization. It is just as unreasonable to expect high breeding in any but those who are trained to it, from youth upward, as it would be to expect learning without education; but a tone of manners, that shall mark equally self-respect and a proper regard for others, is as easily acquired as reading and writing.
The gentleman should aim at a standard of deportment that is refined by sentiment and taste, without the sickliness of overstrained feelings; and those beneath him in condition, at a manly humanity, that shall not pretend to distinctions the party does not comprehend, while it carefully respects all the commoner observances of civilized intercourse.
A refined simplicity is the characteristic of all high bred deportment, in every country, and a considerate humanity should be the aim of all beneath it.