The Book of Betty Barber/Chapter 8

by Maggie Browne

CHAPTER VIII

IN SUM LAND

Thirteen-fourteenths hurried through the wood as fast as his legs could carry him; but the holiday fairies had wasted so much time teasing him about the box that he was some distance behind Repeater, and, indeed, only once heard his call, far away in the distance.

“How tiresome,” he said, “if only I could have run home by Repeater’s side, I could have talked things over and found out what was the matter; but those holiday fairies always do waste precious time.”

Once out of the wood he began to trot, and when he saw in the distance the big buildings he knew so well, he began to run faster and faster.

The big gate was not even latched, it was thrown wide open, and there was nobody to be seen near it or at the lodge.

In front of one of the biggest buildings a heavy waggon was standing. It was very full, packed with piles of exercise-books, hundreds and hundreds of books and bundles of papers.

“Perhaps the driver will know what is the matter,” said the Fraction, hurrying towards the waggon. “Something must be wrong, or somebody would be sorting that load and carrying some of those sums into the compound subtraction building.”

But when he reached the waggon he found nobody, not even a driver. The waggon stood deserted.

He ran up the steps of the buildings, ran indoors, and began shouting through the rooms:

“Ellessdee, Ellessdee, are you there?”

Only his own voice sounded through the empty house, the building was deserted, too.

“Well, this is queer, indeed,” he said, looking about him, “and never do I remember seeing such an untidy house. Ellessdee, my young friend, you certainly ought to be at home clearing up this mess. Wrong sums lying about mixed up with right sums, pence and pounds lying about on the floor. It is quite evident that something has gone wrong with poor old Ellessdee.”

But in the small building next door Thirteen-fourteenths found pretty nearly the same state of things—compound addition sums lying about, papers and books not sorted. There was not quite such untidiness, not quite so much mess, for there was never as much work in the addition as in the subtraction building; people in the world seem to find it easier to take money away than to pile it up. Thirteen-fourteenths began to feel very sad and sorry as he walked through house after house, and found confusion and disorder everywhere, and not even a cipher to speak to.

At last, from one of the windows, he caught sight of two figures hurrying away frow the store building, where all the paper was kept, carrying large piles of paper.

He recognised the figures, too, and gave a shout of surprise, wonder, and amazement.

“Tare and Tret working! Tare and Tret busy!” he cried. “Then, indeed, something is terribly wrong! I must find out what is the matter. I have never before seen Tare or Tret do a stroke of work.”

He bounded down the stairs and out of the house, but by the time he reached the door Tare and Tret had disappeared.

Thirteen-fourteenths looked more puzzled than ever.

“They must have walked quickly,” he said, “I didn’t know they could hurry. Hullo! A piece of paper!”

It was a piece of paper lying on the ground, and further on he could see another piece.

“Hurrah!” he shouted, “they can’t work properly, they are not used to it. If only they have dropped enough pieces of paper, I shall easily find where———Yes, there’s another piece, on the path leading to the Correcting-hall. How stupid of me, I never thought of looking in there.”

The Fraction hurried away from the buildings, following up the pieces of paper, until he reached the round hall, with its many, many doors. Thirteen-fourteenths could hear voices calling to one another as he walked up the path, and he caught glimpses of heads bent eagerly over work through the windows.

The hall was not deserted.

“Everyone must be in the hall,” he said. “What an amount of work they must have, and I can’t understand it. The children, as I know only too well, have been painting all day long, I couldn’t persuade them to look at a sum. I’ll listen a minute or two before I go in; perhaps I may learn something.”

But all Thirteen-fourteenths could hear at the door was a buzz of chatter. “Pass the india-rubber!” “Anyone got a blue pencil?” “More paper, please,” and other equally valuable and interesting remarks.

He pushed open the door and stepped inside.

“It is Thirteen-fourteenths,” called out several voices, and before he could speak a word he found himself dragged across the hall and placed in a desk. A large blue pencil was put in his hand, a large piece of paper was laid before him, which was covered with figures, and at the bottom of which was written in big letters—

“Answer? 189645367862157/23653787909085 .”

Thirteen-fourteenths stared at the paper, and then stared about him.

“It’s rather a big one,” he said at last, “and quite impossible, I should think.”

Immediately all the heads were lifted from all the desks, and all the voices shouted loudly:

“Impossible! Of course it’s impossible. They are all impossible.”

“There are seven like that,” said Tare, who was standing at the Fraction’s elbow. “They want you badly to help put the sums right.”

“There must be something wrong with the question,” said Thirteen-fourteenths.

“He says there’s something wrong with the question,” shouted Repeater, who was standing behind the Fraction’s back.

Once more all the heads were lifted from all the desks, and this time all the voices shouted with scornful laughter.

“Ha, ha, ha, ha! Ho, ho, ho, ho! He’s a clever chap! No wonder he can’t find the piece of his jacket. He’ll never be a whole number again.”

“Do you think we should have been working at these sums all this time if we had had the right questions?” demanded a boy whose black and white dress, covered with L’s and S’s and D’s, clearly showed he was the Ellessdee Thirteen-fourteenths had expected to find in the buildings.

“If we had had the right questions,” shouted a girl, “our backs and our heads wouldn’t be aching this minute.”

“Anybody can put wrong sums right if they have the right questions,” called several figures.

Thirteen-fourteenths felt sorry and angry too; angry because they were cross with him, and sorry that they were all so tired and worried and miserable. He looked at the paper in front of him.

“Where did this come from?” he demanded, turning to Repeater.

“Where did it come from?” shouted Repeater.

“It was copied from the book,” said Tare.

“The terrible, terrible book, which has made all the work,” said Tret.

“Were all the sums in it like this one?” said Thirteen-fourteenths.

“Mine are worse,” said Ellessdee. “There are pounds divided by pigs, and peas multiplied by shillings. I shall never get mine right.”

“And who did the sums in the book?” asked Thirteen-fourteenths.

They all shook their heads.

Then Ellessdee said angrily:

“I wish we knew whose book it was. We would———” Then he stopped. “What would we do to the boy or girl, whichever it was, who did all these sums so terribly wrong?”

They all rose in their desks, and Ellessdee held the paper over his head.

“We would tear that boy or that girl up into teeny tiny pieces, as we tear up these papers now,” shouted Ellessdee.

“Tear up these papers,” shouted Repeater, picking up the paper from the Fraction’s desk. And for one minute there was a sound of tearing paper, and then showers of little pieces were thrown up in the air, and fell fluttering to the ground.

“That doesn’t do much good,” said Thirteen-fourteenths. “The sums must be put right. You know that as well as I do, and now you will only have to set to work and copy them all out again.”

“Copy them all out again,” shouted Repeater.

“Give me some more paper, Tare,” said Ellessdee. “I know I shall have to copy the old sums out again, but I feel better all the same. It has relieved my feelings wonderfully.”

Tare carried round the sheets of paper.

“I’ll get the book,” said Ellessdee.

“Let me see it for one minute,” said Thirteen-fourteenths.

Ellessdee walked out of the hall shouting, “All right, you shall see it.”

“They had to take the book outside,” explained Tare.

“It made them so very angry to see it,” added Tret.

“It isn’t a very big book,” explained the girl called Sois, who had charge of the proportion sums, “and whose white dress was covered with four big black dots in front, and four big black dots behind. “It looks just like an ordinary exercise book. But, oh, sir, when you look inside,” and the girl sighed, “page after page of the wrongest sums you ever beheld.”

“Showers of Little Pieces were Thrown Up in the Air” (p. 86)

“Where did the book come from?” asked the Fraction.

“Where did it come from?” asked Tare, looking at Tret.

“Why, Ellessdee found it,” said Sois, “and it was about the worst day’s work Ellessdee ever did. But here he comes with the book.”

Ellessdee marched through the door up the hall, holding what looked like a very thin book in his hand.

Thirteen-fourteenths stared at it. Thirteen-fourteenths rubbed his eyes, Thirteen-fourteenths would have shouted, but his breath suddenly all disappeared. He couldn’t shout, he could only open his mouth and gasp. For the exercise book in Ellessdee’s hands was no ordinary book at all, it was the most extraordinary book that ever existed. It was the Book of Betty Barber!

Thirteen-fourteenths stretched out his hand; but Ellessdee took no notice of him, he held up the book slowly and solemnly, and opened it. There was a shout from everyone in the hall, a shout not of joy, not of sadness, not of horror, but of surprise, wonderful surprise. There were no pages inside the book! The pages were all gone, only the covers were left!

Thirteen-fourteenths fell back in his seat and groaned, but all the others began to talk.

“Where have the pages gone?” said Tare.

“I thought the cover was loose when I had the book,” said Sois.

“The cover was loose,” shouted Repeater, and his voice could be heard above all the others.

“Now, isn’t it queer?” said Ellessdee.

“Where was the book?” asked Tret.

“Under a big stone just outside,” said Ellessdee, “in the place in which I found it first of all.”

Thirteen-fourteenths was beginning to recover. Never before had he felt so disappointed. For one moment he thought his search was at an end, for one moment he had pictured himself returning in triumph to the Major, Half-term, and Minora, and the others, to tell them he had found the book. It was indeed a blow to discover that not the book itself, but only the covers, were there, and that the most important part or it was still missing. He jumped up on the desk in front of him, and held up his hand or silence.

“Friends,” he said, “this book is more troublesome, more terrible, than you think. It must be found, it must be destroyed. Let me tell you all about it.”

“Go on, go on,” shouted several voices.

“You think it is only an exercise book, full of wrong sums,” continued Thirteen-fourteenths.

“Only!” whispered Sois; but the other figures near her said,“Hush, hush!”

“You only troubled about one end of the book,’ said Thirteen-fourteenths. “At the other is written the Diary of Betty Barber.” The Fraction groaned out the name, but the hall was only filled with wondering faces, not horrified ones.

“It would be difficult to tell you all the trouble that diary has caused. An honoured Major, Major C, has been driven out of Music Land; my dear friend ‘Good little Lucy’ is lost—lost in Nonsense Land; Paint Land is almost dried up; and, added to all this, I find you all tired and cross with overwork and worry, your houses neglected, your proper work left; and all through this terrible book, this Book of Betty Barber.”

“This terrible Book of Betty Barber,” shouted Repeater, as Thirteen-fourteenths paused to get his breath.

“We must find this book,” said the Fraction, “and we must tear it into little pieces.”

“Let us all go and look for it,” said Sois.

“Where did you say you put it, Ellessdee?” asked Tare.

Outside, under the big stone,” said Ellessdee, “Come, Thirteen-fourteenths let me show you the way, and you shall look for yourself.”

The Fraction and Ellessdee ran out of the hall, hand in hand, and all the others followed.

There was nothing under the big stone, and after searching near it and round it they went sadly back to the hall.

“I don’t know what is to be done,” said Thirteen-fourteenths, sitting down in the desk and staring at all the little pieces of paper.

“It’s an ill wind that blows nobody any good,” whispered Tare to Tret, “if they haven’t got copies of the sums, they can’t put them right; they will have to rest now.”

But Ellessdee did not seem to think so. He was gathering together the little pieces which he had torn up, and was trying to make them fit one another.

As he stooped a small box tumbled out of his jacket on to the floor, rolled to the Fraction’s desk, and stopped in front of his feet.

Thirteen-fourteenths picked it up.

“My box,” he said, “I must have knocked it down.”

“My box,” said Ellessdee, “I found it.”

Thirteen-fourteenths looked down at Ellessdee, who was getting very red in the face, and was about to place the box on the desk in front of him, when he saw one there already. He examined the boxes carefully. They were exactly alike, small and round, each with “One shilling a box” printed on the label.

“Come here,” he said to Ellessdee. “Look there,” and he pointed to the boxes. “What does it mean?”

“Two of them,” said Ellessdee.

“Two of them,” shouted Repeater.

“One is mine,” said Thirteen-fourteenths, “and one is Ellessdee’s.”

“Exactly so,” said Ellessdee.

“I found mine near the tree beneath which I had hidden the book,”’ said Thirteen-fourteenths.

“Read stone for tree, and I say ‘Exactly so’ once more,” said Ellessdee.

“One shilling a box,” said Thirteen-fourteenths. ‘Someone must have dropped both boxes.”

“If,” began Sois, and there was at once silence in the hall. “If one man drops one box and takes one book, how many boxes—no books.” And then Sois rubbed her forehead and looked puzzled. “It doesn’t seem to come right,” she said. “Ought it to be books or boxes? But my head aches so.”

“It is nonsense,” said Ellessdee.

Thirteen-fourteenths jumped up.

“I don’t think it is nonsense,” he said. “If he has dropped more boxes, I may find which way he has gone and where he is. I found you were all in the Correcting Hall by following the pieces of paper Tare and Tret dropped. At any rate, I will try to find him.”

“We’ll all come with you,” said Ellessdee. “We’ll have a box chase—we’ll all be the hounds and hunt the hare.”

“Hurrah!” shouted Sois.

“Hurrah!” shouted Repeater.