The Book of Scottish Song/The Dainty Bit Plan

The Dainty Bit Plan.

[William Cross.—Air, "Brose and Butter."—Published originally in "The Penny Songster," Glasgow, 1839.]

Our May had an e'e to a man,
Nae less than the newly-placed preacher;
And we plotted a dainty bit plan
For trapping our spiritual teacher,
O, we were sly, sly! O, we were sly and sleekit!
But ne'er say a herring is dry until it be reestit and reekit.

We treated young Mr. M'Gock,
We plied him wi' tea and wi' toddy;
And we praised every word that he spoke,
Till wi' put him maist out o' the body.
O, we were sly, sly! &c.

Frae the kirk we were never awa',
Except when frae hame he was helping;
And then May, and often us a',
Gaed far and near after him skelping.
O, we were sly, sly! &c.

We said aye, which our neighbours thought droll,
That to hear him gang through wi' a sermon,
Was, (though a wee dry on the whole,)
As refreshing's the dew on Mount Hermon.
O, we were sly! sly, &c.

But to come to the heart o' the nit—
The dainty bit plan that we plotted
Was to get a subscription afit,
And a watch to the minister voted.
O, we were sly, sly! &c.

The young women folk o' the kirk,
By turns lent a hand in collecting;
But May took the feck o' the wark,
And the trouble the rest o' directing.
O, we were sly, sly! &c.

A gran' watch was gotten belyve,
And May, wi' sma' prigging consentit
To be ane o' a party o' five
To gang to the manse and present it.
O, we were sly, sly! &c.

W'e a' gied a word o' advice
To May in a deep consultation,
To ha'e something to say unco nice,
And to speak for the hale deputation.
O, we were sly, sly! &c.

Taking present and speech baith in hand,
May delivered a bonnie palaver,
To let Mr. M'Gock understand
How zealous she was in his favour.
O, we were sly, sly! &c.

She said that the gift was to prove,
That his female friends valued him highly,
But it couldna express a' their love;
And she glintit her e'e at him slyly.
O, we were sly, sly! &c.

He put the gold watch in his fab,
And proudly he said he would wear it;
And, after some flattering gab,
Tauld May he was gaun to be marryit.
O, we were sly, sly! O, we were sly and sleekit!
But Mr. M'Gock was nae gowk, wi' our dainty bit plan to be cleekit.

May came hame wi' her heart to her mouth,
And became, frae that hour, a dissenter,
And now she's renewing her youth
Wi' some hopes o' the burgher precentor.
O, but she's sly, sly! O, but she's sly and sleekit!
And cleverly opens ae door as soon as another is steekit.

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