The Chronicles of Early Melbourne/Volume 2/Chapter 56

by Edmund Finn

CHAPTER

LVI.

EARLY SKY-LARKING A N D

DUELLING.

SYNOPSIS--Sergeant Staunton.-Origination of Larrikinism.-The Early Sky-larkers.-" The Charcoal Boys."-Two " Gentlemen Johns."—"Jack" T and "Jack" F .—Old Sam's Peccadilloes.—Dr. Martin and the Secreted Padlock.-D and his Sword.—The Melbourne " Nickers."—The Dog-and-Bell Trick. —The Duello.—The Clonmel " Text-Book ofHonour."-The"Thirty-six Commandments"—The First Duel—Peter Snodgrass versus William Ryrie. —A Nocturnal Ride in Search of Pistols. - Ammunition at a Premium.—A Lady on the Scene. —The Meeting. —The Fiasco.—Subsequent Challenges and Meetings—John Bourke and the Hawdon Duelling Pistols.—H 1 versus the Doctor.—D. Mc versus S .—Snodgrass versus Redmond Barry.—Powlett versus Hogue.—Craig versus Broadfoot.-The Honourable Gilbert Kennedy versus Demoulin.—"Jam Bullets" and "Jam Satis."—Ross Challenges Croke.—Playne Challenges Curr.—A Poultry Dispute.-Griffin Challenges Synnott.—Bulletless Pistols.-Another Fiasco. —The Honourable Gilbert Kennedy versus C .—Sprot versus Campbell.—A Flash in the Pan.—Doctor F versus Doctor T .—Allan versus Purcell—Arrest of the Principals.—Mr. Frank Stephen and the " Hand and Foot Trick."

Wild Oats.

NO little ingenuity has been employed in tracing the origin of the term "larrikinism," as designating a comparatively m o d e r n h u m a n development, which has gathered into the most mischievous social ulcer of the present day, for its contagion communicates to both sexes of successive rising b ( | generations of young colonists. Philologically, the word " lark " is traceable from m o r e than one V./A- root; as, for instance, from the sky-lark that m o u n t s in the air, a n d sings flying. A n d so, "sky-larking" was adopted as a nautical term for mounting the highest yards of a ship a n d sliding d o w n the ropes, a species of marine recreation permitted under certain conditions. Others derive it from the Anglo-Saxon word lac (sport), a n d also from "leary," an old cant word, signifying flash, sly, k n o w i n g — viz., "leary bloke," a clever customer. I a m disposed to adopt the first etymology, a n d by extending the Jack T a r metaphor, apply sky-larking or larking, as engaging in fun or frolic in an unrestrained and boisterous style, just such an ebullition of the animal spirits as would exactlyfitin with the essentials of an uproarious nocturnal grog spree. Furthermore, m u c h misconception exists with reference to the prolongation of the dissyllable to a trisyllable, i.e., stretching lark-ing into lar-ri-kin, but I a m in a position, from personal observation, to definitely settle that point. A b o u t 1850, there w a s in the City Police Force, a Sergeant John (or as h e w a s c o m m o n l y called " J a c k " ) Staunton, a medium-sized, bull-headed Irishman, with darkish face, slightly asthmatic, a n d thick lips, through which, w h e n giving evidence in the Police Court, he slightly " slavered," a n d thereby acquired a habit of frequent application of his coat-cuff to his mouth. Staunton, though s o m e w h a t dull, w a s a plodding a n d highly useful officer, and in his day did good service in ridding the c o m m u n i t y of s o m e of the wicked excrescences which have existed in every state a n d every age. Little Bourke Street, with its purlieus, was then as n o w the main nursery of city crime, and Staunton w a s not only a power but a terror to the thieving and night-birding fraternity. Staunton's education was o n a rather limited scale, a n d in his vocabulary he was wont to include as "larkers" everyone engaged in nocturnal illegalities about town, especially disturbances originating in public-houses, or indulged in by persons during the enjoyment of late hours. U p o n such offenders " O l d J a c k " had what is k n o w n as a terrible " d o w n , " a n d frequently appeared as police prosecutor in such cases. There was something wrong about the tip of his tongue, rather too big for its place, I thought, which imparted a lisp a n d s t a m m e r to the enunciation of s o m e of his words, especially those where double consonants interposed, a n d o n e especially, "larking," he could never distinctly master. T h e " r " and the " k " conjoined s e e m e d too m u c h for him, though separately

I he could manage them well. But when both united against him the guttural and palatal requiring for their amalgamation, a quivering motion of the tongue, with its pressure against the roof of the mouth, and a depression of the under jaw, was a mouthful quite beyond his capacity. Therefore, when a magistrate would ask Sergeant Staunton what his charge was against a particular prisoner, he would give his lips a wipe and a screw, and would try to answer " H e was a lar—" the " k " caused him to stammer and draw breath, and in his plunging towards the far end of the word, he floundered between the " r " and the " k," and to enable him to reach the terminus, the " r " was duplicated and backed by an "i," a third syllable being so formed, which Staunton employed as a stepping-stone, and jumped across. T h e response therefore, took this form, " H e was a lar—ri—kin, your Worship," and so was coined a word n o w of c o m m o n use, which will yet be incorporated in the English language, like other slang expressions seemingly so necessary that one wonders h o w they could ever have been done without. But, though the designations are analogous as coming from the same shell, it would be a gross injustice to rank the ancient larkers with the modern larrikins as birds of a feather, for there was a wide divergence between the two classes in action, motive, and even temperament. Larrikinism is the outcome of various causes, climatic, dietary, defects in the educational bringing up, moral, religious, &c. In its indulgence it far exceeds the traditionary limits of the sky-larkers, and drifts into excesses of the most criminal kind, not unlike in some respects, the ruffianism of the Mohocks, with which the streets of London rang in the beginning of the 18th century. In all their m a d wild revels, their " Reckless days and reckless nights, Unholy songs, and tipsy fights,"

The larkers in old Melbourne would as soon think of cutting their own throats as robbing a man, and I have found no authenticated instance of their having offered insults to any w o m a n passed in the streets in their intoxicated raids. T h e old sky-larkers were drawn from the cream instead of the scum of society, the scions of families of good blood and reputation, w h o came to Australia in search of fortunes—gay sparks, some with light and few with heavy purses, the contents of which were sent flying in every direction. M a n y of them took up land in various parts of Port Phillip, commencing on the Plenty, and trending northwards along the rivers in the interior away to the Murray. F r o m this aggregation stood out prominently what was known as the " Goulburn Mob," dashing, gentlemanly, intellectual and good-looking fellows, w h o led a monotonous, industrious, life in the bush; but the m o m e n t they got a chance flocked to Melbourne, went the pace there in a manner conducive to the health of neither body nor pocket, enjoyed life while they could, then returned to the drudgery of station work, and so came and went until the " wild oats" were not only sown, but the crop reaped with a vengeance. S o m e of them, at the turn of the tide, settled d o w n quietly and amassed fortunes, afterwards enjoyed both in the colony and at h o m e ; but death m a d e sad havoc with many, for the best and the brightest and the gayest of the frolicsome scapegraces went d o w n before its remorseless scythe. T h e first head-quarters of what the newspapers were wont to designate the " Waterfordians" (after the m a d Marquis of Waterford), were established in 1839, at the Lamb Inn, the second hotel in Melbourne, an unpicturesque, ramshackle, straggling wood and brick batch of apartments, thrown together on the site of the present Scoffs Hotel, in Collins Street. For some reason or other, not knc vn to posterity, they passed under the title of " T h e Charcoal Boys." Possibly it was because of some association of ideas in the colour of charred wood, and the darkness under cover of which their escapades were indulged. T h e Lamb Inn was opposite the then Melbourne Club, which got into full swing in 1840, and this proximity afforded a favourable opportunity for uniting the several forces in the event of any combined m o v e m e n t ; for, be it written, not to their disadvantage, that the Waterfordians usually pulled well together; there was no splitting into factions, and, unless a row over the dining or card-table, and a hostile meeting ending in an abortion, no inter sc feuds ever existed. In a short time, the Club completely eclipsed the m a d doings of the Iamb, and in the course of a few years the Prince of Wales, in Little Flinders Street, was an occasional contributory; zz but the Club finally outran all competition, and its larking achievements did not die out for nearly a decade. T h e Club was in itself the focus of every harum-scarum undertaking that could be imagined, and to such a height did its post-prandial excesses in a short time reach, that it became necessary to establish in connection with it a " receiving-house" as a harbour of refuge—a queer unhallowed sanctuary, to which such as were pro tern unfit to mingle with the ordinary Club society, voluntarily banished themselves like fallen angels. This rowdies' h o m e was an old shed-like, brick-nogged, one-roomed rookery, perched rearward of where the Australian Club-house is erected, in William Street. T h e maitre dhotel of this retreat was a biped known as " Old Sam," so dog-visaged that he would pass for a living Cerberus, only that he was one-headed. It differed from the Club in its mode of maintenance, for there were no annual or other subscriptions, and no bills to be squared up—its revenues arising solely from voluntary donations, given with no stinted hand. It was regulated by a code of sumptuary laws of a very peculiar nature, few in number, and as immutable as those of the Medes and Persians. Ex. gra., the cuisine was of the simplest kind, viz.—bread, bacon and eggs, steaks and chops fried or grilled, beer in the pewter, with brandy either neat or infused in cold or hot water and sugar. Potatoes, tea, coffee, or other un-alcoholic or unfermented drinks were rigidly prohibited. Plates or forks were not permitted; a tin dish full of smoking food was placed on a rough table, and every one disposed for a feed cut a junk of bread, covered it with a wedge of meat, and so could "cut and come again" as often as he wished. There were two or three rough stools for c o m m o n use, and such a convenience as a stretcher or bedstead was tabooed. A dozen mattresses, with a pillow and blanket each, were littered along the sides, and thus couched on these " shakes-down," the inmate could eat, drink, sleep, and wake, ad libitum; but on no account was any person to divest himself of any wearing apparel other than his hat, overcoat, and boots. A rigid embargo was placed on cigars, but "baccy" might be puffed or chewed until doomsday. There was not much luxury in this human sty, but it was wonderful h o w speedily shattered nerves were braced, and the equilibrium of a swimming head restored, by the unrefined regimen of this refuge for inebriates. It was known as "the Den," and though its life was a merry, it was not a long one, for both " S a m " and " the D e n " soon dropped out of existence, and were utterly forgotten long before the last of the larkers retired from the stage. T h e ancient rowdies were under the leadership of two " Gentlemen Johns." A Mr. "Jack" T commanded the regular Club contingent, and a Mr. "Jack" F wielded a despotic authority over the "Denites," from which there was no appeal. This brace of "Jacks" embodied two plucky, high-spirited and jovial gentlemen, high-minded and honourable in the ordinary pursuits of life. After their exuberance of animal spirits had in some degree evaporated, they settled down into comparatively easy-going customers, and no doubt looked back with regret upon many of their by-gone frolics. "Jack" F - - was the master of a graceful and eloquent pen, and some of his contributions to the Port Phillip Gazette for which he occasionally wrote, displayed no inconsiderable ability. They have both long since passed away from earth, and though there have been many better, there have been a great many worse colonists amongst us T o attempt any detail of the madcap pranks of this constantly-recruited horde would be a futile ask, ^ their name was legion; and any specific enumeration would be as tedious as going through the catalogue of a public library. A few samples will therefore be given in a general way picked up at random from memory and hearsay. "Old S a m " was a worthy of wicked proclivities, and fertile in devising the nocturnal exploits to be undertaken. S o m e of the most desperate raids would be plotted at the "Den", from which the party detailed for duty would e m e ^ n k e a pack of demons coursing through the inadequately protected streets, knocking over the private watchmen, or Charlies, mobbing the police, breaking windows, removing sign-boards, and planting , ' them in out-of-the-way places Stahles would Uc c A W O U l d b e forced y T °P e n . A e horses turned adrift, and traps rn -oH nff „nH mtJ A ,• carried oft and used as barricades across somp ^f tK« „t . the streets nirrbf m i H , *n r- • .u , - A n audacious attempt was one night made to capsize a theatre, the udicrous nartimla™, ~r u- u u i_ • . T -.u .L i , . '"uicrous particulars of which have been given n a previous . . X c i_ •• , chapter. Neither the places of public worshin nn, o .u u puunc worsnip, nor some of the ministers of rel gion were deemed t c 6 sacrosanct, for the boys once ascended to « r n ' l M O u r , ascenaea to sacrilege by scaling the tower of St. James' Church, and removing the bell, which they restored next day. This was wicked enough in all conscience, but it was subsequently cast into the shade, when a furious trio rushed the residence of Parson T h o m s o n , the Episcopalian minister, in Church-street, broke into the place, fustigated his reverence, and smashed several articles in his parlour. T h e next morning a Police Court prosecution was initiated, but influence was brought to bear as a successful mediator, and the outrage was condoned upon terms never m a d e public, but which included an apology in writing. Even so late as 1849, church gates used to be abducted, and the Independent and Scots' Churches were the last levied on in this manner. In the Western Market Reserve, a few yards from the Police Office, stood a venerable bald-headed gum-tree, where a bell was fixed ostensibly to ring the convict labour gang, employed on the streets, and the few other assigned servants at work about, to and from the depot, but m a d e generally useful in the case of a fire breaking out in warning the public. This belfry would be climbed by the night owls, and a stunning alarm pealed forth, which from the furious rapidity of the ding-donging, would lead to a supposition that all Melbourne was in a general conflagration. T h e bell was even carried off bodily and interred near the cemetery, where it was afterwards unburied, and resurrectionized into its former prominent position. Once upon a time, during the Christmas holidays, an effort was m a d e to induce the old clipper-clapper to d o duty as a joy bell and in order to properly superintend the operations, a jovial Solicitor, and one of the original members of the Club, was appointed Master of Ceremonies, and he planted himself in an adjacent branch for the purpose. T h e bell was worked by a couple of ropes attached, at each of which three or four pair of unsteady hands pulled, and the hilarious bellringers shouted and yelled, and ya-hooed and tugged like a watch of bewitched sailors; and so between them and the bell, there burst forth such a sonorific medley, the overwetted whistles n o w in the ascendant, and immediately drowned by the metallic uproar, that the townspeople started in their beds in bewilderment, not knowing what all the turmoil was about, but fancying that Melbourne was either in a state of earthquake or overwhelmed by some other calamity. Those w h o ventured out of doors could perceive no reason to account for the tintamar, though the bell kept clinking away in a spasmodically eccentric style. T h e police hurried towards the quarter from which the pell-mell evidently proceeded, and on their appproach the roisters ran away, leaving their coryphaus aloft to look out for himself. In trying to get down, this worthy got dovetailed between the two limbs, and, gripped around the waist by some of the branches, was kept in a state of suspension—a kind of Mahomet's coffin the reverse of agreeable. His recent carousals> and the manner in which he was left to shift for himself aloft, so ruffled his plumage as to cause his temper to belie the Meek-ness of his name, and he shouted and plunged and kicked in such fashion that only for the hard and fast manner in which the old tree clutched him, he would have jerked himself from his anchorage, and been either brained or maimed through his impetuosity. W h e n the constables arrived all they could see was a pair of legs working in convulsions; but a little further investigation revealed the whole case, and the belated blusterer was with some difficulty extricated from the precarious position in which he had got so singularly jammed. Instead, however, of being relegated to the adjacent lock-up, as a m a n found under suspicious circumstances deserved to be, he was allowed to go h o m e quietly, for the guardians of the peace in such times were disposed to overlook trifling improprieties, for certain well understood considerations. "False fire-alarms" was another of the favoured recreations. T h e watchman and constables were provided with rattles to spring in any emergency, and the roisterers roared and rattled about the street too, and with such frequency that the shouting of " Fire ! fire !" grew into something like the proverbial cry of " W o l f ! Wolf!" and the townspeople were often in such uncertainty as to be unable to decide as to whether they should consider the uproar as a signal of fire or no fire. Pickets of twos and threes often detailed themselves from the main body for special duty. For years there was a formidable-looking water-hole at the eastern conjunction of Collins and Elizabeth Streets, and it was called Lake Cashmore, after an Israelitish draper, whose shop was within a couple of yards of its northern extreme. Though not deep enough to drown a person, the unfortunate wight pitched into it got well soused in slushy water, and it was zz 2 in every sense a m u d bath in which no sane individual would like an immersion. T h e night-hawks would prowl about here within the shadows of the houses or concealed behind a fence, and when a constable or watchman passed he was pounced upon, chucked into the lake and had to scramble ashore blowing like a porpoise and shaking himself like a water-dog. M a n y of the spolia opima would be carried to the " D e n " and the Club, and one of the annexes of the latter place, a sort of lumber-room, was used as a store for the wreckage, and was at times quite a Curiosity Shop, from the miscellany of odds and ends collected there, such as bobbies' batons, door-knockers, bells, bell-pulls, and bell-handles, and even bell-toppers, snatched from the heads of passers-by. There was in Collins Street an ironmongery establishment kept by a Mr. Jackson, and known as the "Golden Padlock," by virtue of which a large wooden gilt symbol of the trade swung out from over the shop door. This was unhooked one night, and borne away as a great prize, and for safe keeping was placed under a bed in one of the principal sleeping apartments of the Club House. Dr. Martin, a most peaceably-disposed individual, arrived in town from a long bush journey at an early hour in the morning, and, feeling too fatigued to proceed to his residence at Heidelberg, turned into the Club for a bed, and was shown the room where the big padlock was quietly reposing. H e went to bed over it, and slept the sleep of the tired, unsuspicious of the mischief that was tucked away beneath him, and was very disagreeably surprised by the entrance of the Chief-Constable before breakfast, an intrusion which was an unwelcome disturber of the sleeper's blissful oblivion. Martin was a Territorial Magistrate—a thing not to be lightly trifled with—and awakened so suddenly, he looked angrily about, and sharply inquired the reason of the intrusion. T h e officer apologized, but intimated that he should do his duty, disagreeable as it was. A n audacious outrage had been perpetrated during the previous night; Jackson's monster padlock, the admiration of Melbourne, had been carried off, and there was reason to believe that it would be found in Dr. Martin's bedroom. A search was instituted, and it did not take m u c h time or trouble to fish out the stolen property from under the bed. T h e discovery riled Martin considerably; he cut up roughly over the "roasting" that awaited him next day, and vowed vengeance on the jokers, if he could only find them out, for he was incapable of entering into the spirit of what was regarded as capital fun by the young bloods, w h o were only too glad of a chance to tease such a dry old stick. T h e fact was, the Doctor's arrival was expected, and the room reserved for him, and the golden padlock was purposely secreted in its hiding-place. T h e depot at the Club was an advantage, for, as its existence was well known, the owner of an abstracted article, or the police, knew where to look out for missing strays, and people in quest of a sign-board, a knocker, bell-pull, or kindred trifles, of which all traces had been apparently lost, would call there the same as visits are n o w m a d e to a railway luggage-room or a dead-letter office. Demolishing the Corporation channel-bridges at the street corners was a prevalent diversion, and also visiting a wooden punt that did duty before the advent of a bridge over the river. The puntman (an irascible old fellow) resided in a hut at the southern side, and every night before retiring the punt would be hauled over and m a d e fast round a tree-stump. T h e larkers would cross by the "Falls" or in a boat, and, creeping round, unwarp the punt quietly, pull across on it to the northern side, and then, by shouting and yelling, break the slumbers of the old punter, w h o would rush out to find himself powerless, with a large amount of insult added to the inconvenience, for he would have to get a boat next morning wherewith to cross, and take possession of his raft. In their nocturnal peregrinations some of the larkers would be literally so blind drunk as to be unable to see where they went or what they did. There were then no public lamp-posts for them to bob against; but if a bit of fencing barred their way, they fancied it to be something obstructing them, and would pitch into it in rare style. Once three of them were staggering through William Street, and they fell against a small empty brick store. In their cups, imagining that it was some huge fellow that was showing fight, they set to work and levelled it. Another time the trunk of a tree on the site of the present T o w n Hall incurred the displeasure of a couple of them, and they kept hammering away at it for a couple of hours, until compelled by the police to forego their intentions. There was a well-known Attorney named D , who used to indulge in some extraordinary single-handed vagaries. A m e m b e r of a militia corps in England, whence he emigrated in 1838, he brought with him his military outfit, and when regularly on the " ree-raw" he would dress himself up in his regimentals and, armed cap-a-pie with his drawn sword brandished over his head, rush like a maniac through the streets, and if he met any notable person on his way, would compel him, irrespective of the state of the weather, to drop on his knees and beg his life. O n e wet night, when Collins Street was not only inches, but almost feet, in slush, this m a d m a n was in his tantrums, and one of the most precise and punctilious of Melbournians had the misfortune to cross his path. T h e scimitar was immediately flashing in the moonlight, while the holder of it grasped the other by the collar, and vowed instant decapitation unless he dropped on his marrow bones and begged his life. The condition, uncomfortable in every sense, was complied with, and the head so stipulated for was in after time the wearer of a judicial wig for many years in Victoria. There was one fast gentleman of the period w h o singularly enough afterwards attained high position in the Police Department, w h o never ventured abroad on any after-dark expedition without the companionship of a formidable stick ; and so that he might never be left alone in this respect, he appointed an old fellow named Austin M'Ginty his " Stick-in-Waiting," or cudgel-keeper. M'Ginty was caretaker at St. Patrick's Hall, a connection which, doubtless, specially fitted him to be the custodian of shillelaghs. However, he was the G r o o m of the Sticks, which were stabled under the Hall stairs, and he received a weekly stipend for keeping them in order. Three or four times a week, about midnight, a thundering knock would be rattled on the door, and a croaking voice from within would screech out " Who's there ?" to which would be m a d e the interrogative response, " Are you awake, Ginty ?" "Aye, aye, your Honor," would be crooned out; " W h a t do you want n o w ? " Whereupon the mandate would be thundered forth, " C o m e , jump up quick, man, and give m e a stick." Ginty would spring from his lair, and, opening the door, would produce two or three of the saplings in his charge, one of which would be speedily selected and marched off with. However, I never heard of any broken heads following, and the sticks were never k n o w n to do m u c h harm. At the Restoration a section of the London street bullies was known as " Nickers" (whether after Old Nick or not I cannot say), and their missiles were some of the least-valued coins of the realm. According to Gay in the Trivia— " His scatter'd pence the flying Nicker flings, A n d with the copper shower the casement rings,"

And the amusements of the Melbourne scampdom used to be diversified by the shying of coppers in the theatre and other places. O n the ioth January, 1845, an audacious exhibition of this kind occurred at noon-day in the heart of Collins Street. O n the site of the Union Bank then stood (he Royal Hotel, the resort of the sporting fraternity, and on the opposite side was the most fashionable draper's shop in town, known as Williamson's. Here there was a cheval glass, valued at £17, kept for the convenience of the numerous customers, and it attracted the drunken attention of half-a-dozen " Nickers," w h o procured a large supply of a mintage then in circulation, long since called i n — a species of heavy penny-piece. With this artillery, or rather rifle practice, afiringparty commenced across the street, which was kept up for some time, luckily without knocking out any eyes or cracking any skulls, though several squares of glass in the shop windows were destroyed, and the mirror shattered in pieces. A bet of a dozen of champagne was the prompter of the outrage, The leader of the exploit was a Mr. J. D. Hill, one of whose limbs was so enlarged by elephantiasis that he was known as " Montefeetio." H o w he managed to drag himself along was matter of surprise, but more so was the possibility of showing his heels with sufficient quickness out of several scrapes with which he was mixed up, and this he would contrive to do rapidly and cleverly too. In the present instance he cleared off at once out of town, and the Police Court proceedings, which old Charlie Williamson vowed he would take, were deferred until something could be known of " Montefeetio's " whereabouts. In the meantime the affair was compromised, like many other transactions of a kindred kind. But of all the eruptions in which the Waterfordian distemper manifested itself, the most comically grotesque was the dog-and-bell trick, which was thus performed : — A certain house, where there was a strongly-secured door-bell, was selected, and after the family had retired, an ill-natured dog was put into a collar and a two-ended rope, the extremities of the cordage being securely fastened to both bell and door handle. T h e dog immediately after c o m m e n c e d to bark and plunge furiously, and the bell got into such a state of terrible tinkling that the inmates, believing the house to be on fire, rushed promiscuously to the door to ascertain what was up. W h e n an affort was m a d e to open the door, the dog pulled fast the other way, the bell all the time merrily going, a half-a-dozen larkers encouraging the animal to resist in every possible way. A n d so it continued until either the bell-wire or rope broke, or some of the not over-active police arrived to quell the fiendish hullabaloo. T h e gentleman w h o stabled his sticks in St. Patrick's Hall, was of an inventive turn of mind, and one day he conceived a happy notion of improving on the dog trick, and succeeded to his heart's content. His invention was this :—T h e dog was to be no longer tied to the rope( which was to have instead a shin of beef or a sheep's head firmly annexed. T h e dog was then set on the bait, and the animal lost no time in endeavouring to emancipate the joint. H e pulled and. plunged, and snarled and gnawed, whilst the bell was actively at work, and the astounded residents were hastening to the rescue. At every attempt to draw in the door, the prize receded from the dog, was sometimes jerked out of his mouth, and he was m a d e furious, by the belief that some opposing power was trying to cheat him of his booty. Labouring under such a mistaken notion he would jump towards the door, which, in self-defence, would be j a m m e d in his face, and not again opened in a hurry. Other vagabondizing dogs usually joined in the fun, and the shindy was often indescribable. T h e inventor is still (1888), I rejoice to write, alive and well in Melbourne, and no one, to see the respectably sedate, good-humouredly-serious, and mildly-mannered looking man. w h o n o w contemplatively strolls along " the Block," could ever imagine him to be the deviser of the most screaming farce that was ever put upon a stage, with an ill-conditioned brute of a dog as the principal of the dramatis persona. Such is a meagre outline of an institution which m a d e no small noise during the infancy of the colony, and though totally indefensible upon any moral or rational ground, there was a vein of chivalry permeating the "larkism" of old, when compared with the "larrikinism" of modern times. T h e old night prowlers, though gentlemen in name, were guilty of m a n y ungentlemanly indiscretions; but with all their rowdyism they were generous in a way, and ever ready to make compensation for injuries inflicted. If they cut a head, they were not unwilling to supply a plaster, which accounts for the almost total absence of prosecutions against them. In only one very outrageous case, where a sergeant of police was dangerously assaulted, was a Criminal Sessions conviction obtained, and even then a further pecuniary amende was voluntarily m a d e to the sufferer. There was a complete absence of malice in their out-door revelry, which might be compared with their duels, as displaying a penchant for fun more than for mischief; and as for murderous street robberies, the cold-blooded mutilation of policemen, befouling the streets with obscene language, assaulting or insulting women, would not be thought of. They were fast and furious, reckless and extravagant, impulsive and intemperate; and where too m u c h steam was generated, the high pressure should be reduced by some safety valve or other. A s a body, they paid the penalty of their excesses, for the many went the way of all flesh, prematurely, and the few remained as striking examples of h o w years and circumstances will sometimes effect such a metamorphosis in the m a n of fifty from the stripling of twenty, as to m a k e it impossible by any evidence short of ocular demonstration to induce a belief that they were actually the one and same individual.

THE DUELLO.

At the period of what is known as the Batman-r/m-Fawkner occupation of Port Phillip, pistol-shooting as a fancied m o d e of retaliation for personal affronts was in vogue in Great Britain, and during the ten years-1835-45—eight remarkable meetings are recorded as having taken place in England, two of which terminated fatally, and in two others severe wounds were inflicted. It is, therefore, by no means surprising that it should be imported with other conventional usages from H o m e . But it is a singular fact, that in none of the several duels fought, or pretended to be, in this colony, not one instance has occurred in which either challenger or challenged, or seconds, ever drew blood from the other. N o life was sacrificed, no limb injured to the extent of an adverse scratch, not even the slightest personal casualty witnessed, if I except the incidents where one belligerent skinned one of his o w n toe-tops; another ignited his nether garments, and the coat and hat of others were perforated. It is difficult to account for such general harmlessness in the indulgence of a dangerous practice upon any other grounds than a presumption that the challenges were given under certain stimulating influences, and acted on with an impatience that allowed the nervous system insufficient time to recover its ordinary steadiness, and the eyes to banish the faculty of double vision, which over-indulgence in inebriating fluids is supposed to confer. T h e hand was therefore shaky, the aim uncertain, and the result innocuous. Furthermore, the Port Phillipian duelling was impregnated with an element that would not be admitted into English or Irish affairs of honour, viz., a desire on the part of seconds, concurred in by some of the principals, to turn the affair into a j o k e — a n Antipodean travestying quite foreign to the recognized style in which such matters were disposed of in other places. Ireland was the hot-bed of the Duello during the eighteenth century, and the modus operandi there m a y be quoted as an authority on the subject. At the S u m m e r Assizes held at Clonmel, the capital of Tipperary, a meeting of gentlemen delegates from the great fire-eating counties of Tipperary, Galway, M a y o , Sligo, and R o s c o m m o n assembled (Anno 1777) to settle the practice of duelling and points of honour. In this serious and solemn conclave a code of honour was affirmed and prescribed for general adoption throughout the country, and thefightingcommunity accepted it as a text book. It was an elaborate production, embodying no less than three dozen rules of practice, and was irreverently known as the " Thirty-six C o m m a n d m e n t s . " From a copy before m e I transcribe two of the regulations as relevant to the subject under treatment :— " N o . 1 3 . — N o d u m b shooting or firing in the air admissible in any case. T h e challenger ought not to challenge without receiving offence, and the challenged ought, if he give offence, to make an apology before he c o m e to the ground; therefore child's play must be dishonourable on one side or the other, and therefore it is accordingly prohibited." " N o . 15.—Challenges are never to be delivered at night, unless the party to be challenged intend leaving the place of offence before morning, for it is desirable to avoid all hot-headed proceedings." There is m u c h good sense in these stipulations, which were as a rule utterly disregarded in Melbourne, for the challenges were generally off-hand, the dumb-shooting and air-firing frequent, while such by-play as blank-loading was never once contemplated as a possibility by the fighting authorities referred to. T h e facetiously-termed "hostile meetings" were of frequent occurrence in the early years of the colony, but as no record of them is obtainable, anything like a complete list is not to be thought of, and I a m therefore necessitated to confine m y selection to a few of the more remarkable, as gathered from the old newspapers, though the most amusing of them have been hunted out by personal enquiry of the very few old colonists n o w living, and capable of giving information. THE FIRST DUEL.

It would be difficult to meet with a funnier episode than is to be woven out of the circumstances connected with the first s u m m o n s to the field of honour in Port Phillip; and it is questionable if anything racier ever happened even in Ireland, a country proverbial for powder-burning gentry during the eighteenth and a portion of the nineteenth centuries. T h e Christmas-tide of 1839-40 was a "brighte and a merrie" one, for there was an influx of filled purses from H o m e , and everyone w h o could scrape up anything for a " ran-tan " in town, rushed thither to see " life," and, as invariably happens in certain cases suffer for the transient enjoyment. T h e Melbourne Club was then about to prepare its first year's balance-sheet. Matters were warm and comfortable there, though frequently somewhat too fast and furious, and it, and the Lamb Lnn, just over the way, were the head-quarters of the fastest and most furious of the hot-blooded youngsters about town. O n the evening of the ist of January, 1840, a select dinner-party assembled in one of the club-rooms to bid hearty welcome to the newly-arrived year, and here gathered as choice a dozen of exuberant spirits as could well be found from that day to this. They sat round a table of " full and plenty," where no stint was imposed upon the animal enjoyment of eating and drinking; and after dinner there was no disposition to bring the convivialism to anything like a premature termination, so there they stayed without giving a thought to an early break-up— " Bousing at the nappy, An' getting fou and unco happy." But happiness, wherever and whenever it does happen, must, like all other mundane visitations, have an end. A n d so the inevitable came sooner than expected on this occasion. W h e n the wine, or rather the brandy, was in the wit flew out. " A cup difference" arose between Mr. Peter Snodgrass and Mr. William Ryrie, and heated words and offensive insinuations followed. Snodgrass was the son of a Lieutenant-Colonel of distinction, and m a y be supposed to have inherited a martial ardour, which he was never reluctant to suppress when any occasion arose to excite it, and accordingly, a circumstance not surprising to those w h o knew his temperament, he forthwith challenged Ryrie to mortal combat. T h e verbal cartel was accepted as willingly as it was offered, and the next essential to be looked to was the selection of seconds, when Lieutenant Vignolles, of the 28th Regiment, a detachment of which was then stationed in Melbourne, was chosen as the challenger's best man, Mr. T. F, H — l t — n consenting to act in a like amicable capacity for the challengee. T h e shooting match was fixed for daybreak the following morning, on the western slope of Batman's Hill, now the site of the Spencer Street Railway Station, and there was not m u c h time for effecting the preliminary arrangements. But an unexpected and formidable difficulty interposed in limine. Strange and unaccountable omission ! T h e Club was not provided with such gentlemanly indispensables as duelling pistols; and worse too, it was impossible to procure any in town without exciting a curiosity which might spread the matter abroad, and conduce to its interruption by police or other interference. Not only were the two principals, but even all present, eager to see the frolic out in what they conceived to be the only legitimate and gentlemanly way, and a council of war was held to consider h o w thefixcould be removed. Mr. Joseph H a w d o n , of Heidleberg, was the possessor of a splendid case of hair-triggers, which could be got, if only their owner could be got at; but he was enjoying the pleasures of his peaceful home, and that was eight miles in the country. This was a gloomy and disheartening look-out. " T h e golden hours" were plying their wings, it was close on eleven o'clock, and the dawning of the day could not by an h u m a n agency be deferred even for a minute. Fortunately, there was present a m a n worthy of, and equal to the occasion. H - l t - n , Ryrie's second, had a gcod horse in the Club stable, and fresh from the " land of green heath and shaggy wood," was an expert plucky rider, as firm in the pig-skin as on the solid ground, and jumping up, proclaimed his readiness to ride tnstanter to Heidelberg, storm the H a w d o n domicile, and either return with the pistols, or never more show his honest face amongst them. This offer was rapturously applauded, and forthwith carried into effect, for the nag was readied in quick sticks, and the pistol-hunter dashed out of the Club-yard amidst the hearty congratulations of his confreres, w h o wished him God speed on his unpeaceful mission, and promised to m a k e a night of it until his return. " Wee mounted on his grey mare Meg, A better never lifted leg, Tam skelpit on," A n d no stranger night-ride was ever efferrprl ;,. fi,„ 1 u u A t-n n „ _.,_, , , , enected in the colony. It could not be compared to l a m Ubhanters drunken canter for as thp Q™t-o> nu u AA I- • 1 , ' Iur as tne ^cots Church did not lie in the route, there was no Kirk of Alloway to pass, and therefore no chance of hearing old Clooties blowing bagpipes, or being " catched wi' Warlocks i' the mirk." A n d lucky was it for the madcap equestrian that it was so, for if chased by witches, he had no brig of D o o n with its running waters to save him from being " cutty-sarked," for the Merri Creek was then dried up, and there was not as m u c h of a current as could by any possibility operate as a spell upon supernatural pursuers. There was no analogy between it and the achievement of John Gilpin, except "That like an arrow swift he flew, Shot by an archer strong,—"

For the rider was even better in his work than the horse ; and there was this difference between it and Turpin's famous ride to York, that T o m rode a white mare while Dick's Bess was black, and there was besides no turnpike in Port Phillip to be jumped. Arriving at his destination, the dreaming H a w d o n was broken in upon, the pistols were obtained, and the eight miles back were thundered over again in a double-quick time never out-paced since. It was about i o'clock when the courier galloped up Collins Street, flourishing a pistol in each hand, very m u c h inclined to shout out his success, but that he was partially tongue-tied through gripping the bridle between his teeth. Re-entering the Club and exhibiting the emblems of his good fortune, he was welcomed with uproarious applause, and regarded as the hero of the moment. A further hitherto unthought-of complication n o w arose, for though they had the pistols, there was no ammunition. O n the Christmas Eve preceding, an explosion occurred in the Market Reserve, which blew up the " Sporting E m p o r i u m " (the only powder and shot mart in town) with its whole stock of combustibles, and there was only one other place where cartridges could be obtained; but the difficulty was h o w to procure them. T h e Military C o m m a n d a n t was a Captain Smith, w h o resided at the Officers' quarters at the West end of Bourke Street, and it was proposed that Lieut. Vignolles should rouse up his superior officer and endeavour to procure the needful. But this he point blank refused to do, as the- consequences of such an application by him might turn out rather unpleasantly. It was suggested that the meeting should be deferred, but the intending combatants were so intent upon a mutual slaughter that it would not be listened to, and again H — l t — n stepped into the breach, and vowed that sooner than have the fun fall through, he would go and get what was wanted at any risk. Again, the reverse of a "messenger of peace" he sped forth; but this time on foot, and making his way to the mansion of Captain Smith, knocked up that warrior, and obtained an interview. After m u c h hesitation, the captain yielded, and the ambassador had just converted a capacious coat-pocket into a powder magazine, when the Captain's wife, fancying something very wicked was going on under her roof-tree, quietly left her bed, and peeping through a partially-opened door, saw what they were up to. Starting out en deshabille, she seized the new-comer by the collar, and c o m m a n d e d him to unpocket what he had so carefully secreted. There was a regular tussle over Tom's pocket, the lady pulling and shaking him a good deal; but, of course, all he could do was to passively resist by holding tight by the magazine, which was so poked and knocked about, as to lead to some apprehension of a blow-up from the friction. However, T o m was determined not to surrender what his wrestler was disposed to regard as contraband of war, and he directed his efforts to retreat towards the doorway through which he jumped, snatching his half-severed coat-tail out of the fair fury's grip, and emerged into the open air, not only with a divided skirt, but rent up to the shoulder-blades. A w a y he retraced his steps; and n o w that the pistols and ammunition had been secured, the next thing to be looked up was a surgeon, for they were all positively certain that, so deadly would be the fray, a surgeon's services should be provided. There was then resident in Bourke Street a Mr. D. J. Thomas, a son of Old Cambria, though much more given to talk of the leek than to eat one. N o person was better known in the by-gone times than " Dr. T h o m a s " as a surgeon of considerable skill, and an ardent lover of practical jokes, and so it was that he was called upon to turn out and take the field, which he did without m u c h reluctance. Every obstruction n o w removed, the party moved off to the convincing ground, a grassy c o m m o n on the verge of the s w a m p northwardly adjoining Batman's Hill. B y this time it was clear daylight, and as fine and fresh a s u m m e r morning as could be desired. T h e distance was measured, the pistols primed, and the m e n placed; but just as the fatal signal was about to be given, Snodgrass, w h o was always a victim to over-impatience, or ultra excitement on such occasions, so mismanaged his hair-trigger, that it went off too soon; so, instead of slaying his antagonist, he wounded himself in the toe, and came to grief. Ryrie, as a matter of course, could not think of behaving so unhandsomely as to shoot a m a n down, and forthwith flared up in the air. T h o m a s was immediately at work with the wounded patient, who, though literally prostrated, was found to have sustained no serious injury. There was no decollation of the stricken m e m b e r ; the nail was gone, the flesh slightly abraded, and the haemorrhage but minimum. S o m e lint and bandaging which the surgeon brought in his pocket soon m a d e the warrior right, and he was laid out on the grass, whilst the others, foiled in their fun, resolved to improvise a substitute of some kind, it did not matter m u c h what it might be. There were about a dozen present, and it is no exaggeration to say, taken as a whole, they were more than partially inebriated. They had c o m e there for a special purpose in which they were disappointed; but they were not to be done out of their morning, so there should be a shine, even if some of themselves were to die over it. Several suggestions were m a d e and put aside, until one drunken humourist hiccuped something in effect that as the captain's ammunition was nearly all there, they could not do better than back Dr. T h o m a s against a tree as a mark for some pistol practice. Thomas, w h o had a slight impediment in articulation, grew alarmed, and stuttered out a vehement objection. Though a great joker himself, he had no liking to be turned into an Aunt Sally of this kind and experimented on with bullets instead of sticks. A compromise wasfinallyeffected by T h o m a s consenting to allow a n e w bell-topper he wore to do proxy for himself, and upon this corpus nailed to a gum-tree they operated in rotation with the two hair-triggers, until the Smithian cartridges were exhausted, and the medico's head-gear well riddled. T h o m a s looked with a wry face upon his well potted tile, upon which it was not necessary to have a post mortem. T h e party now thought of returning home, and by the aid of a couple of stout, though unsteady arm-holders, the wounded .hero managed to limp, the principal figure in a grotesque procession which made its way in a condition of loud jollification to William Street, for not wishing to show at such an unfashionable hour at the Club, they turned into the " D e n " of old S a m previously described, resumed their compotations, and remained there until that period vaguely defined by the phrase known as "all hours." T h e two principals and the medico have long since "gone under." T h e seconds are still (1884) in the land of the living—one a settler in Queensland, another in Victoria, where he has served his adopted country in more than one capacity, and is generally accounted to be, if not the wisest, about the best fellow throughout all its length and breadth. A n d such is the story of the curious and dramatic incidents surrounding thefirst"affair of honour" in Port Phillip never before printed, and communicated to the writer by one of the two survivors.

THE HAWDON DUELLING PISTOLS.

History is silent as to what became of the brace of " bulleteers " referred to in the preceding sketch, and this is to be regretted, for as relics of a banished epoch they were almost as deserving of preservation as the Henty plough or the Fawkner printing press. But though the shooters have sunk into oblivion, it is a remarkable fact that the m a n w h ofirstutilized them in the colony, and on Her Majesty's service, too, is still "alive and kicking" in Melbourne. In 1837, M r . Joseph Hawdon contracted with the N e w South Wales Government to convey a mail overland to and from Yass-a portion of the route to Sydney; and the work, then an arduous and dangerous undertaking, was commenced on the 1st January, 1838. T h efirstmailman was John Bourke, a H a w d o n employe, and before starting the Joseph H a w d o n duelling pistols were placed in his hands as a means of defence against the aggressions of possible bushrangers and probable Aboriginal assailants. I have in m y possession an autographic account of Bourke's first three months' journeyings, and a marvellous narrative it is. H e continued overlanding in this work for a year, during which he rode eleven thousand miles, and must have had a charmed life to have escaped the innumerable dangers which beset him every league he travelled. I have not heard whether he was ever obliged to use the shooting-irons with effect; but in such an emergency he would be equal to the hair-triggers, for he was a good marksman, and would be more likely to kill or wing an opponent than to "toe" himself, as happened in the first duel described. Thirty years ago John Bourke was a m a n of means and position in Melbourne, was on terms of special intimacy with Sir (then Mr.) John O'Shanassy, and it was on his repeated suggestions that O'Shanassy, when Chief Secretary, took up and expedited the memorable adventure to be known subsequently and for all time as the " Burke and Wills expedition." In those days of affluence Mr. Bourke little dreamed that the whirligig of time would bring him to the low-water mark of a sub. or super in a Government department; but in his, as in many other cases, the French proverb was verified and the unexpected happened. For years hefilledan humble billet in the General Post Office, and being advanced in years his lowly position became precarious. Bourke was superannuated recently (1888), but it was a pity to divorce him, the first Melbourne and Sydney overland mailman, from the Post Office, so long as he was able to render any value for the very moderate wage he received. The second "affair of honour" was disposed of at the beach close to Sandridge, in February, 1841. The belligerents were the surgeon of a recently arrived immigrant ship, and a Mr. H 1. They were placed at twelve paces, and a pistol handed to each. H 1 fired without effect, whilst the other refrained from firing. T h e medico then asked his adversary if he was satisfied, and receiving an answer in the affirmative, proclaimed H 1 to be no gentleman. H e also demanded to be paid £5 2s. 6d. as damages for the tarring of the mattress and blankets on the voyage out. H 1 declined to settle the little bill, and there the matter was allowed to rest. T h e doctor had been "called out" by the other for using insulting language, provoked by the desecration of the ^Esculapian bedding. O n e evening in July of the same year a M r . S and a M r . D. M c formed two of a dinner party at a Melbourne hotel, when the potations being more potent than the Yarra fluid, hot words ensued, and S applied an embrocation of steaming whiskey-punch between Mac's eyes. A n appeal to arms was a matter of course, and the diners-out adjourned, with some friends, to see it out in the moonbeams at the Flagstaff Hill. T w o aimless shots were exchanged, the warriors made it up, and the gathering returned to convivialism, and did not get h o m e till morning, by which time the carousers were all gloriously drunk, fn vino Veritas, and the truth leaked out, amidst m u c h merriment, when the seconds accounted for the bloodless battle by declaring that they had forgotten to put bullets into the pistols. T h e flash in the pans, however, accomplished as effectual a peace-making as a leaden recipe might have done. In August, 1841, occurred a hostile meeting, remarkable in consequence of the position attained in after time by the principals. M r . Peter Snodgrass was by no means the least pugnacious individual of an extinct generation, and it did not take m u c h to get up a casus belli with him. Mr. R e d m o n d Barry was a gay and promising young Barrister, and the two were prominent members of the Melbourne Club. Barry had written a letter to a friend, who injudiciously showed it to Snodgrass, about w h o m it contained some reference, which was deemed to be personally offensive, and a challenge was the consequence. T h e gage of battle was taken up, the preliminaries were quickly arranged, and in the rawness of a winter's morning the meeting came off by the side of the " sad sea waves," between Sandridge and the present Albert Park Railway Station. Though the weather was the reverse of promising, Barry made his appearance on the ground done up with as m u c h precision as if attending a Vice-regal levee. Even then he wore the peculiarly fabricated bell-topper, which a future Melbourne Punch was destined to present to the public in illustrated variety; he was strap-trousered, swallow-tail coated, white-vested, gloved, and cravated to a nicety. H e even carried his Sir Charles Grandison deportment with him to the pistol's mouth, and never in after years appeared to such grandiose advantage as on this occasion. W h e n they sighted each other at the recognized measurement, before Barry took thefiring-ironfrom his supporter, he placed his hat with m u c h polite tenderness on the green sward near him, ungloved, drew down his spotless wristbands, and saluted his wicked-looking antagonist with a profound obeisance that would do credit to any mandarin that ever learnt salaaming in the Celestial Empire. Then taking his pistol, and elevating himself into a majestic pose, he calmly awaited the word of c o m m a n d . Snodgrass fussed and fidgetted a good deal—not from the nervousness of fear, for he was as brave as an English bull-dog, but rather from a desire to have the thing over with as little ceremonial nonsense as possible, for he was Barry's antithesis as a student of the proprieties. It was his over-eagerness on such occasions that caused his duelling to eventuate more than once in a fiasco, and unfitted him for the tender handling of hair-trigger pistols. B y a laughable coincidence, the present "engagement" was terminated in a manner almost precisely similar to what happened at the duel of the year before, when a hair-trigger prematurely went off. T h e same kind offire-armwas now in use, and just as the shooting-signal was about to go forth, the pistol held by Snodgrass, getting the start, was by some inadvertence discharged too soon, whereat Barry at once magnanimously fired in the air. Little could either of the duellers foresee what futurity had in store for both. The one grew into the esteemed and popular forensic Advocate, and on to the eminent and universally-valued Judge; whilst the other, in the following year, was a gallant capturer of bushrangers, and ended his career as an active M e m b e r of Parliament, and a voluble if not eloquent Chairman of Committees in the Legislative Assembly. In 1842 Mr. F. A. Powlett, a Commissioner of Crown Lands, quarrelled with Mr. A Hogue, a merchant, concerning one of the m a n y entanglements into which the commercial affairs of the well-known M r . F. A. Rucker were involved, and there was a challenge in consequence. The well-known M r . C. H . Ebden was Hogue's second, and the meeting was held under the hill at Newmarket, near Flemington. There were two exchanges of shots, an evidence that mischief was meant; yet no injury was sustained by either side, if Hogue's coat be excepted, through which Powlett sent a ball each time. Mr. Skene Craig had charge for a time of thefirstbranch of the Commissariat Department established in Port Phillip. H e subsequently joined Mr. A. A. Broadfoot in mercantile pursuits, and the firm of Craig and Broadfoot occupied a displayed place in the old Directories. Once they happened to have quarrelled over a matter not immediately connected with the counting-house, and C. challenged B. They met at three o'clock on a fine s u m m e r morning on the northern slope of Batman's Hill, and at the urgent request of one of them, w h o firmly believed he should be winged or otherwise maimed, Dr. W . H . Campbell was in attendance for any surgical operations that might be impending; but luckily his services were not called into requisition. Craig discharged his pistol at the other without hitting him, and Broadfoot returned the fire by aiming at the moon, which happened to be quietly and sadly looking down on their harmless folly. A reconciliation was without much difficulty effected, and ratified at a champagne breakfast given by Broadfoot, which was shared in by the principals, seconds, half-a-dozen extra official friends, and of course " the doctor." " Putting on jam," a phrase of modern slang, and increasing in popularity, has a very different meaning from the manner in which that m u c h appreciated conserve was applied on the occasion of a duel professed to be fought forty-five years ago (1843). There was then in the colony the cadet of a noble Scotch family, known as "the Honourable Gilbert Kennedy," who, though afflicted with lameness, was nevertheless sufficiently " g a m e " to be in almost every mischief that happened within miles of his whereabouts. O n the occasion n o w written of he got up a "tiff" with a Mr. George Demoulin, more for fun than other reason, and lost no time in challenging him. Demoulin was something of the "softie," and it was arranged that he should be the subject of a soft practical joke, which would have no more disastrous effect than the loud laugh it would raise at the expense of the individual operated on. A harmless arrangement was entered into by Kennedy and the two seconds, that Demoulin's pistol should be charged with powder only, and Kennedy's with powder and jam, which was accordingly done. T h e meeting c a m e off soon after sunrise, on a wide open space, near the junction of Lonsdale and Spencer Streets, and all concerned, with half-a-dozen outsiders in the secret, put in a punctual appearance. So far as Demoulin was aware, it was to be a deadly struggle fought at close quarters, and consequently the warriors were stationed at only a few paces from each other. They were both accounted good shots, and one of them at least had but slight hope of either or both of them withdrawing from the strife without loss of life, or most certainly being maimed. On the word being given both pistols were discharged, and behaved as well as they could under the circumstances, that of Demoulin's going off and doing nothing more, whilst Kennedy's went h o m e to the point towards which it was directed. Kennedy took cool steady aim at his opponent's head, and the jam cartridge landed on his forehead, scattering over the bridge of his nose and eyes, the unusual effect so alarming him that he sang out his brains were blinding him. H e did not fall, but was in such a terrible state of alarm that it was some time before he could be m a d e sensible of the fact that his cranium was unbroken, and he still retained in his head as m u c h brains as that upper storey was ever furnished with. O n clearly comprehending the trick played on him, he was very wroth, but could not long withstand the peals of merriment by which he was encircled, so he yielded with good grace to the spirit of the time, and joined heartily in the laughter evoked at his expense. T h e young sparks w h o embarked in the wild frolics of the period were generally well educated at high class schools in the old country, and a knowledge of the grand dead languages of R o m e and Greece was not unfamiliar to them. In an outburst of exhilaration the sobriquet of " J a m Satis" was conferred by some classic humourist on Demoulin, who, however, never could take kindly to it. W h e n medical m e n appear on a battle-field it is generally in a professional capacity, in the hope that the fortune of war m a y turn up something in the way of a surgical operation; but an amusing exception to this rule occurred in Melbourne in 1845. T h e official leader of the then Port Philip Bar was Mr. James Croke, a sour-looking, rough-faced, irascible though well-meaning man, whose years had landed him in the stage of the " sere and yellow leaf." Amongst the secondary grade of the legal profession was an even sourer-faced Attorney, M r . James Hunter Ross, as straight as a lamp-post, and as hard-visaged as if his figure-head had been carved out of a block of granite. Croke was Irish, and Ross was Scotch, and one day they were both retained on opposite sides in a Supreme Court suit before Mr. Justice Therry. In the progress of the cause some interjectional remark of the Attorney riled the easily disturbed temperament of the Barrister, who, turning furiously on the other, told him "that he had trumped up the case for his o w n benefit," which so irritated the usually unruffled Caledonian that for the m o m e n t he had some notion of bringing his affronter rather unceremoniously to the " floor of the Court." T h e good-tempered Judge was quick to note the brewing storm, and with his accustomed tact m a d e some remark which had the effect of turning it off. Croke, as quick in forgetting as provoking, thought no more of the occurrence; but not so Ross, who quitted the place in terrible dudgeon, and resolving in his mind that Croke had not heard the last of it. T h e next day Dr. T h o m a s Black, w h o resided in Lonsdale Street, received a communication from Ross, conveying a wish to see him at his earliest convenience. Black lost no time in complying, and on arriving at Ross's found him in a state of intense excitement, pacing up and down the room. Without waiting to be questioned he roared out, " I have been grossly insulted by old Croke, and I wrote to him to say that I shall call him out if he does not apologize, and he won't do so. I wish you would see him, and say from m e that unless he sends an ample apology he will have to do the other thing." Dr. Black accepted the commission of " a friend" with the intention of doing the peace-maker if he positively could, and for this purpose he betook himself to Mr. Croke's house in William Street. "Old Croke," w h o was making ready for dinner, met him in his shirt sleeves, and when informed of the object of the mission, stared with astonishment, and exclaimed, " Insult Ross, do you say ? G o d bless m y soul, m y good fellow, such an idea was the furtherest from m y thoughts. W h y , m a n alive, the thing is preposterous !" After some further conversation Croke again vociferated, "Apologize! I apologize? W h y , man, I never could think of apologizing for anything I do in the discharge of m y official duty. If Ross thinks I meant to offend him, I a m very sorry, for w e have met in each other's houses. W h a t I said was in a public capacity, and if it gave offence I regret it; but to think of sending an apology to Ross, I never could do anything of the sort." Dr. Black asked if Croke would authorize him to say to Ross that he (Croke) was sorry Ross should have taken offence at what had been said, but that he (Croke) declined to apologize for anything said or done by him in a public capacity. Whereupon the other responded, " O h ! most certainly, you m a y do so if you like," and here ended the interview. Black next sought the irate Ross, and with the oil of a persuasive tongue so salved the lawyer's wounded dignity that he expressed himself as being " thoroughly satisfied." O n the day after, Judge Therry visited Black and thanked him cordially for the trouble he had taken in arranging the unpleasant difference that occurred in Court. H e added that having learned something of an intended hostile meeting, he had recourse to measures that would have prevented such being carried into effect, but he was thankful to Dr. Black for having relieved him from what would have been, under the circumstances, an extremely disagreeable duty. In March, 1845, a comical rumpus occurred between two gentlemen in the Commission of the Peace. A meeting of Territorial Magistrates was being held at the Police Office, to consider the propriety of a separation of the town and district business, which, u p to that time, had been transacted in the Court-house, whereby detriment and inconvenience were entailed upon suitors. Amongst those in attendance were M r . Edward Curr, the political Nestor of the province, and Dr. George Playne, a fashionable, youthful Club Physician. B y the term " Club " it is not meant to convey that Playne was what is known as a " Club Doctor," attending the invalid members of a Benefit Society, for a dole hardly sufficient to find the medical attendant in boots, but an habitue of the Melbourne Club, having plenty of money to spend, and knowing h o w to spend it. Whilst Curr was addressing the Chair, Playne contemptuously ejaculated the remark " paltry," whereupon Curr turned round, and looking his interrupter sternly in the face, declared " it was time he was taught to use the language of a gentleman." Playne boiled up with indignation, but with much difficulty kept his choler bottled until ten o'clock next morning, w h e n he uncorked it in the form of a challenge to the other, which was entrusted for delivery to M r . John Carre Riddell, w h o waited upon Curr and presented a written mandate, requesting an apology or the alternative to n a m e a friend. Curr declining point blank to do either, was, for his contumacy, posted at the Club. T h e following day he quietly repaired to the Police Court, and had Playne bound to the peace. Curr subsequently addressed a long letter to the newspapers, in which he elaborately vindicated himself from accepting the challenge, and certainly for reasons, the sound good sense and logic of which it would be difficult to controvert. H e considered himself more than justified in not "going out" with his challenger, because Playne was simply " a Bachelor Justice," and k n o w n only as the Secretary to the Club, whereas he (Curr) was " an ancient patriarch of the land," with fourteen children under his roof, to be provided for; and furthermore, he was of such bodily bulk, that any person capable of drawing a trigger could hardly, by any possibility, miss him. T h e conditions, domestic and corporeal between himself and Playne were so different, that no cowardice could fairly be attributed to him for declining a battle so unequal. T h e good sense of the Curr manifesto was so irresistible, that its writer secured the sympathies of the public, and after the Doctor had passed through a lively ordeal of laughing and chaffing, all recollection of his unprovoked indiscretion quickly passed away. A very amusing attempt to vindicate the offended dignity of wounded honour occurred, although I a m unable to state the precise day or year, but it was probably in 1845, or thereabout. Mr. Synnott disposed of a station at the Anakies, near Geelong, to a M r . Frederick Griffin, and amongst the chattels to be taken over, according to the Griffian notion of the bargain, were some poultry. This was disputed by the vendor, and the vendee, determining that he would not be victimized by what he considered rather " foul" play, incontinently challenged the other to mortal combat. N o w , Griffin was as m u c h of afire-eateras the other was a fire-hater; the one vowed " he'd pepper the other," and this other was thrown into an awful funk that more than half killed him. If there was a thing in the world he dreaded, it was a pistolling encounter, and what on earth he was to do he did not know. O f course, he could, if he wished, decline to meet the other, but to be publicly pilloried as a coward was only next to being shot, for he was not in heart a craven ; though overwhelmed by a species of nervousness, almost indistinguishable from fear. T h e seconds were nominated, and in the course of the preparatory arrangements, from what they had ascertained of the perturbed state of the Synnott mind, they were led to believe that it would be an absolute impossibility to bring the second m a n to the scratch, if the meeting were to be a bond-fide one. Under such exceptionable circumstances it occurred to them that a ruse would not only be excusable, but justifiable, and they consequently agreed that the pistols should be charged with powder only. A n assurance to this effect was imparted to Synnott, and considerably pacified him, but Griffin was to be kept in the dark. T h e sham battle came off at the Little River, where Griffin put in an appearance, cool and determined, and confident, that for him, at all events, it should be no bloodless or barren victory. Synnott, though having the fullest confidence in the promise given by the seconds, was shaking with apprehension, in fact, almost unmanned by the most dreadful of apprehensions, the shadowy nature of which he could not bring himself to steadily look at. T h e m e n were placed, a bulletless pistol handed to each, and the ominous word " fire" sung out. Griffin did his part, as he thought, with unerring effect; but was perfectly astounded at what he saw before him, viz., his antagonist with his "unmentionables" onfireabout his lower extremities. T h e fact was that the shooting signal so paralysed all muscular action in Synnott that his pistol hand, instead of extending, dropped to his thigh, the piece exploded, and the powder igniting his trousers, the whole affair was simply turned into one of blazes. N o serious injury was, however, suffered, for by prompt aid, the conflagration, which had not time to make m u c h head-way, was fortunately extinguished without trouble or danger. Griffin rubbed his eyes, and could scarcely credit what he beheld before him. There was his foe, not standing, but prancing about, and his o w n aim was taken at such an altitude that it could never have descended to such meanness as to shin the m a n w h o m he was bent on either killing or winging. A light suddenly broke upon his mind and he became convinced that he had been in some way or other (how he did not yet guess) shabbily tricked, and he made up his mind to have the mystery quickly solved. Confronting the two seconds he declared he should forthwith challenge and shoot them both unless they told " the whole truth, and nothing but the truth," and as there was nothing for it but an open confession, the circumstances attending the concoction of the humane, and in every sense, harmless hoax, were frankly detailed. Griffin was in an awful pelter for a while, and could not be mollified, but at length, whatever sense of the ludicrous was in him, broke out, and the whole affair was so irresistibly funny, that it could end in no other way than good humour, the effects of which swept all the bitterness of the poultry away, and the incident was only remembered to be heartily laughed at whenever mentioned, not only for many a year after, but even by old colonists in the present day. About 10 a.m. on 27th June, 1846, two gentlemen, blankly known as A and C , rode up to the Pier Hotel at Sandridge, and asked for a cup of tea. T h e harmless beverage was given and drank, after which the strangers intimated that they were only out for an airing, and cantered away as if bound for St. Kilda. They were not long gone when a M r . H appeared in a stanhope, and started off after the others, w h o joined him at a short distance in the bush. A suspicious-looking individual, n a m e not known, next showed, and stated that he was on the look-out for one of Liardet's boats, and lounged up and d o w n on the sand. T h e H o n . Gilbert Kennedy next galloped up, and passing on, the whole group assembled in the scrub near the head of the lagoon, where it became so evident to the few Sandridge-ites then in existence that mischief was brewing, that a courier was forthwith despatched to town to inform the police of the harm that was in the wind. Meanwhile a hostile meeting was hastily gone through at the lagoon, Kennedy and C • being the principals, and A and H the seconds. Shots were exchanged without any harm, an explanation ensued, all was over, and the ground was speedily cleared. T h e engagement originated in a quarrel over a game of cards at a Melbourne hotel, on the previous night. In an hour or so after Chief-Constable Sugden and Sergeant Rose of the Mounted Police came tearing down from town, but only in time to learn some exaggerated intelligence of the shindy they were in such a hurry to prevent. In 1846, Messrs. Alexander Sprot and William Campbell (not the so long well-known " Honourable" of that ilk), two settlers in the Western District, had some verbal altercation, in the course of which Campbell accused Sprot of having slandered him, and Sprot challenged the other in return. Sprat's friend was a Captain A d a m s , Campbell's a Mr. R. Crawford, and it was arranged that the fight should take place in the neighbourhood of Belfast, but it got bruited abroad, and the authorities had initiated measures to prevent it. T h e parties then agreed to outwit the police by going out of the colony, and cross the border into South Australia, and this was done without delay. T h e meeting was to c o m e off at a spot indicated at the river Glenelg, an the 27th June. It was previously understood that A d a m s , as the challenger's friend, should provide fire-arms, but through his inability to procure proper duelling pistols, he was forced to do with c o m m o n pocket pistols of such an inferior description that the seconds experienced considerable difficulty in properly loading them. O n Campbell being handed his he looked at it with contempt, and sneeringly observed " that it would be the merest farce to fight with such ridiculously miserable things." W h e n the word was given, Campbell's piece merely snapped, and Sprot's with a struggling effort, barely managed to go off, but do nothing more. Campbell was then asked to withdraw the offensive expression which had provoked all the trouble; but he would do nothing of the sort, and preparations were being m a d e for a second round, when A d a m s gravely declared that as there was no medical m a n in attendance, he should withdraw his principal from the field. In this determination he persisted, and the four companions re-crossed the boundary line, and returned home, after riding four hundred miles for the most miserable flash in the pan imaginable. A newspaper war followed, and columns of original correspondence were printed in acrimonous vindication of the circumstances tinder which such a ridiculous farce was brought about. O n the last day of October, 1849, there was a merry-making party at the Prince of Wales Hotel, then a fashionable rendezvous in the eastern quarter of Little Flinders Street; and in the course of the enjoyment, a Dr. F and a Dr. T got up an altercation which was " seen out" the following morning on the then unpopulated Collingwood Flat near to the present Abbotsford Convent. Shots were exchanged, and T received F 's ball through his hat, and had a rather narrow shave of being brained, for some of a not over-luxuriant crop of hair was singed across the crown of his pate. This was considered quite a satisfactory result, and a thorough reconciliation ensued. About 4 o'clock on the morning of n t h December, 1850, a duel was unexpectedly prevented at Emerald Hill. A Mr. John Allan, from the Pyrenees, was staying at the Prince of Wales, and another country settler, named Purcell, was quartered at the Port Phillip Club Hotel. Allan was examined as a witness in a trial in which the other was concerned, and his evidence was so displeasing to Purcell that it led to a dispute, and thence proceeded to a challenge. Arrangements were in train on the hill summit, but the fun was spoiled by the appearance of Chief-Constable Bloomfield, with a half a dozen subordinates, and warrants were issued for the arrest of the principals, who were confined in the magisterial retiring-room, when Purcell thrust an offensively-worded note at Allan's face, with an accompaniment of a coarse and opprobrious nature. Allan refusing the cartel, was struck by Purcell with a whip, and a scuffle followed, in the course of which Mr. Frank Stephen, as mediator, experienced a practical exemplification of the aphorism that " Those who in quarrels interpose Will often wipe a bloody nose,"

For though his nose remained intact, Purcell administered a header, which stove in the lawyer's hat, and momentarily astonished the wearer, who, however, lost no time in recovering himself and pitching into Purcell with a will, treating him to what is known as the "hand and foot trick," and levelling him. T h e Police Court idlers were n o w in their glory, a crowd had by this time collected, and a ring was being formed for a continuance of the exhibition, when the police interfered, and Purcell was secured. T h e intercepted duellists were subsequently bound in heavy bonds to keep the peace for six months. Stephen having repaid what he got with m u c h more than an usurer's interest, took no further action for the battering of his bell-topper, and it would have been better for Allan if he had allowed the squabble to remain where it was; but he took it into the Supreme Court, where the assault cause of Allan v. Purcell was tried on ioth March, 1851, when the jury awarded a farthing damages, in addition to ^ 1 0 paid into Court. Such was Judge A'Beckett's opinion of the transaction that he refused to certify for costs. Here end m y gleanings in the traditional stubble-field where the "Wild Oats" were sown, when Port Phillip little dreamed of the golden future which the Para* had in reserve for her.