The Conversion of St. Vladimir/Canto 3
CANTO III
Court Martial
Lord, were I but an officer,
I should have sport galore;
Because, whom he dislikes, he puts
Behind a prison door.
Everybody must respect him;
Who dares pester him, or twit,
Or else in the slightest taunt him,
He may have to do his bit.
The police commands obeisance,
It will flay you if you kick—
With a switch it whips the tailor,
And the cobbler with a stick.
Hearken, people, and take warning;
With my doleful eloquence
I will show that ’gainst policemen
E’en a god has no defense.
Here they lead him, bound and shackled—
How it galls my peace of mind!—
Two are pulling at his elbows,
One is pushing from behind.
“Lead me through the darker alleys,
Please—not through the market place;
I’ll be gentle—only spare me
The dishonor and disgrace!”
Perun’s wife was in the backyard
Washing out the dirt
At the well, from Perun’s little
Youngster’s muddy shirt.
As she spied her lord, arrested,
She became extremely wroth
And assaulted his attendants
With a soppy, dirty cloth.
But Perun rebuked her kindly:
“Unavailing is your zeal,
Put your sword back in its scabbard
For my hour has come, I feel.”
The police are in the alley
Dodging Mistress Perun’s claws—
While at court the jurists worry
About Perun and the laws.
God Perun is safely shackled
In the dungeon, in disgrace;
But the legal sharks yet have not
Found a law to fit his case.
For the makers of the statutes
And the laws have never dreamt
That the Tsar would ever dare to
Cite god Perun for contempt.
Now the barristers came, trembling,
To the Tsar with the appeal
That there are no ordinances
Which with Perun’s case can deal.
Angrily the Tsar dismissed them
With abuse—and with a snort
Sent an envoy to the barracks
For a military court.
The military court, supreme,
Rules with a vigilance;
It carries in its knapsack
Every law and ordinance.
The military court holds legal
Judgments in duress—
It does not judge by law-books,
It adjudicates by guess.
The military court digests
Its victims like a pike—
It can devour the guilty
And the innocent alike.
The royal military court
Did not deliberate;
But gave offhand this verdict,
Concurred in by the State:
“It is the wise opinion
Of this court, and in accord
With imperial decisions
Of the high commanding Lord!
“For committing lese majeste
And for disobedience,
For rebellion, filthy language,
And for his impertinence:
“God Perun is being sentenced
To be hanged until he’s dead;
But the court has shown him mercy—
And he shall be drowned, instead.
“But as warning, and to make the
Disobedient rabble quail,
He shall be dragged to the Dnieper
Fastened to a horse’s tail.”
A journalist sat in that jail
With hope to soon be freed,
Though he had assailed religion,
God, and the prevailing creed.
So the martial court, concurring,
Since he offered no defense,
Sentenced him the same as Perun—
For its own convenience.
