The Genius (Carl Grosse)/Chapter 19
CHAP. II.
"Preparations for this purpose were immediately made, and having been charged by the marquis to give a wink to his confort on my return to the lodge, she seemed perfectly to understand it.
"After supper the baron refused his rhodomontades, and swore, that neither hell nor all the devils in it should ever frighten him; the protested, that he only threw himself on the ground to frighten me when I came down stairs, that he felt himself highly diverted with our fears, and was only sorry for the lady who had fainted.
"Here our hostess, with admirable naiveté, observed, that he was by no means such a free-thinker, as some of the company. Being pressed to explain, she assured us, that almost every night, between twelve and one o'clock, there was such a noise in the chapel belonging to the castle, as if it was falling to ruins. Here a loud laugh, which the marquis set up, was re-echoed by the baron with redoubled violence. The latter, probably recollecting that it was past midnight, challenged the company to repair instantly to the chapel. The marchioness, feigning not to pay any attention to what he said, and to be disconcerted at the laugh, declared, that gentlemen might laugh as much as they pleased, but the would lay a wager, that none of them was hardy enough to fetch the fan she had left on her seat in the chapel during the morning service.
"This challenge was followed by a general pause, when the marquis thought proper to break the silence, by assuring his spouse, that he would gladly agree to any bet he should venture to lay, and was sure of there not being a gentleman present, that would not render her the solicited office in that very hour. We all gave it as our opinion, that the marchioness would forfeit her wager, and left her at liberty to choose a champion. Her eyes then petulantly over-run all the company, and whenever the fixed them on the baron, he each time turned pale. Several times, much to his joy, she shammed to fix her choice on me or some other; but terminated after all by selecting the baron. Bound as he was by his parole of honor, he could not be off the bargain. He clandestinely pulled out his watch, and having convinced himself, that it was near upon the stroke of one, cocked his hat with all possible martial grace, and took leave of the company. He had not proceeded quite as far as the lodge-door, when his cockade dropping from his hat over his face, he shrunk back with trepidation, and set us all on a roar. He then collected himself once more, threw the cockade with an air of contempt into a corner, and strutted away.
"We picked it up again, determined to make some good use of it. He was no sooner gone, than the marquis informed the company of his plan, and of the measures he had taken to put it in execution. He then gave the gentlemen their choice to act such parts as they should like. Two of us immediately offered to perform the principal characters, viz. Don Guiacomo Naros, a nobleman of a gigantic size, and Don Romero, who was of a dwarfish stature. The chapel, which served also as a parish church to the adjacent village, was at a good distance from the castle, to which it joined by a subterraneous corridor. The plan being settled and all the parts duly distributed, some of the company followed Braggart, and others to get the start of him, introduced themselves into the chapel through the corridor.
The night was rather dark, but some weak glimpses of the half-clouded stars still enabled one to descry objects at a distance. The baron seemed to stop cautiously before every bush, and slackened his pace on approaching the church-yard wall. At last he opened the gate, and flashing at every cross which projected from the quiet graves with his naked sword. This knightly manœuvre had insensibly drawn him out of the path, and stumbling from one turf over auother, he arrived at the chapel not till several minutes after we had entered it by taking a bye way. He had likewise missed the principal gate, and it was almost impossible for him to reach the
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pew of the Marchioness, because he would have been obliged to climb over all the other seats.
"There was only one lady in our company, who, however, had almost spoiled the whole sport. For when she saw the poor Chevalier climbing over the pews, and heard him groan in a most rueful accent, she broke out into an immoderate laughter, and endeavouring to stifle it, rendered it only more hideous. I had placed myself near the organ; and being at a loss how to remedy the fault she had committed, accompanied her with a still more disharmonious passage on the instrument. This produced an effect which surpassed my most sanguine expectation, as but little wind was in the bellows, and I never was an adept in music.
"The poor Chevalier was almost petrified. He sat down in a pew, and awaited, in a kind of stupefaction, the things that were to come. I am sure he would have cared neither for the fan nor for his reputation, if he had had the least hope of getting safe out of the chapel. In this distress he looked anxiously about for an asylum, and seeing something of a white colour, which were the pillars of the pulpit, shine through the dusk, that prevailed around him, he climbed over the remaining pews to get at that supposed place of safety.
"We thought it our duty to light him on that expedition. A great electric machine, which the Marquis had ordered to be placed near the pulpit, served our purpose excellently, emitting from the conductor, at first, large sparks, and then a whole electric stream. We also lighted some candles of the large chandelier, which was suspended in the centre of the chapel, by means of a quantity of hemp, which was overspread with sulphur and pitch. However, we soon extinguished the candles again. Two servants, who were stationed at the church-yard, broke some panes of glass, which came with a great noise into the chapel: the doors were opened and shut again; the howling of cats was imitated; some of the company blew a strong current of air into his face by means of large bellows; the shrill sound of whistles re-echoed from every corner; and as the effect of the electrical machine grew stronger, whole streams of fire illuminated the chapel at intervals
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with violent cracks; several sheets besmeared with phosphorus swung to and fro, and at last flings thrown about the baron's legs and body, so that he remained as motionless as some enchanted knight.
"At the same time, a thick smoke arose near the altar, which became more and more condensed and voluminous. Dons Giacomo and Romero appeared in the midst of it, in the costume of two devils, and the more terrible, as the gigantic bulk of the former made so great a contrast with the dwarfishness of the latter. The disguise of both was painted with broad stripes of phosphorus, and Don Giacomo also bore on his head a lantern with the following inscription in red letters: "Sinner prepare; for thou must die!" Don Romero wore the red cockade, which Braggart had thrown away in the garden. They now stretched out their flaming arms to seize the knight of the woeful countenance, who seeing the two devils advance, shut his eyes, and did not open them till a good while afterwards.
"At last the scene was shifted to our mutual horror. The pulpit-door opens, a man drest in a white surplice, armed with a long crucifix, and bearing a lantern in the other hand, appears on it followed by another fellow drest in black.
" It was the curate and the organist, who came from the village, on seeing the blaze and hearing the noise in the chapel. Ignorant of the marquis's scheme they came to take us unawares. We soon recognized the parties, having seen them before, but the two devils who had never beheld them in their lives, took it for a real apparition to punish their incredulousness, and overwhelmed with a sudden panic, rushed out of the gate. The gigantic Naros dropt his lantern, which fell on the little one's face, who deliberately pickt it up and lighting it again, went to follow his companion that waited for him in the church-yard.
"Here a new catastrophe ensued. The curate beginning to read his exorcisms to conjure away the damned goblins, both of them had the curiosity to look back, when the little devil who preceded the great, quickly turning round, pushed the lantern so violently in the latter's face, as to make him imagine the blow was given him by some spirit, on which he dropt senseless on the ground. Don Romero was so much frightened at the effect he had himself produced, as to leave the lantern on the ground and take to his heels, jumping over crosses and graves, till he unfortunately stumbled over a tombstone, where he also fainted.
"The marquis was now determined to put an end to the business; he gave his servants the signal agreed on, who taking away the machinery as secretly as possible, each of us stole out of the sacred place, and all met before the principal gate. Our first care was to bring the two devils to life again, and after some previous conversation, we took lighted tapers and returned humming and coughing to the chapel.
"Still the pious priest zealously continued reading his exorcisms, without lifting an eye from the book. The marquis than advanced close to the pulpit, calling out to the reverend gentlemen, "What means all this, Sennor? are you moon-struck, pray?"—It was some time before he would listen to the voice of his lord. At last he looked down into the chapel with visible surprize, and gave a brief account of his holy function. "You had better retire, Sennor," replied the marquis, "and go to bed." The person complied, and we all went to try to revive the woe-lorn knight,
"In him every spark of vitality seemed to be gone. We felt no pulse, no respiration more in the poor baron. Our host already repented his having perhaps carried the joke too far, when Braggart gave some signs of returning life, and opened his bewildered eyes, bawling for help, as he thought himself in the very hands of the goblins. We had much ado to persuade him that it was we who were come in quest of him. It became necessary to have him carried: to the castle, and put to bed. He was then quite speechless, but the next day we found him as brisk as-ever, telling us that overpowered by fatigue, he had fallen asleep in the church, and dreamt a very heavy dream."
Here Count Selami concluded his story, which was received with loud bursts of applause, though every one present guessed baron Hompesch to be the hero of it. The latter was now as mute and as chopfallen as in that night, but from prudential motives, he refrained from immediately giving way to his choler.
The drollest circumstance was, that the gigantic Naros was also one of the company, and exclaimed; "Hang me! I was devilishly afraid!"
—"Was you there?" asked several of the ladies.
—"To be sure," added he, "and the Baron Hompesch was not far off."
Several loud peals of laughter ensued; but the baron thought proper to swallow the pill, and wait an opportunity of being avenged of the count, for the mortification he had endured; and this opportunity presented itself, as will be found, that same morning.
Thus ended all the stories of siege and conquest. A little while after the company: broke up, Caroline gave the count her hand to help her into the carriage, and we both returned home apparently happy and contented.