The Golden Ass of Apuleius/Chapter 37
THE
NINTH BOOKE
of LUCIUS APULEIUS of
THE GOLDEN ASSE
THE THIRTY-SEVENTH CHAPTER
How Apuleius saved himselfe from the Cooke, breaking his halter, and of
other things that happened.
N this manner the traiterous Cooke prepared himselfe to slay me: and
when he was ready with his knives to doe his feat, I devised with my
selfe how I might escape the present perill, and I did not long delay:
for incontinently I brake the halter wherewith I was tied, and flinging
my heeles hither and thither to save my selfe, at length I ran hastily
into a Parlour, where the Master of the house was feasting with the
Priests of the goddesse Syria, and disquieted all the company, throwing
downe their meats and drinks from the table. The Master of the house
dismayed at my great disorder, commanded one of his servants to take me
up, and locke me in some strong place, to the end I might disturb them
no more. But I little regarded my imprisonment, considering that I
was happily delivered from the hands of the traiterous Cooke. Howbeit
fortune, or the fatall disposition of the divine providence, which
neither can be avoided by wise counsell, neither yet by any wholesome
remedie, invented a new torment, for by and by a young ladde came
running into the Parlour all trembling, and declared to the Master of
the house, that there was a madde Dog running about in the streetes,
which had done much harme, for he had bitten many grey hounds and horses
in the Inne by: And he spared neither man nor beast. For there was one
Mitilius a Mulettour, Epheseus, a Cooke, Hyppanius a chamberlaine, and
Appolonius a Physition, who (thinking to chase away the madde Dogge)
were cruelly wounded by him, insomuch that many Horses and other beasts
infected with the venyme of his poysonous teeth became madde likewise.
Which thing caused them all at the table greatly to feare, and thinking
that I had beene bitten in like sort, came out with speares, Clubs, and
Pitchforks purposing to slay me, and I had undoubtedly beene slaine,
had I not by and by crept into the Chamber, where my Master intended to
lodge all night. Then they closed and locked fast the doores about me,
and kept the chamber round, till such time as they thought that the
pestilent rage of madnesse had killed me. When I was thus shutte in the
chamber alone, I laid me downe upon the bed to sleepe, considering it
was long time past, since I lay and tooke my rest as a man doth. When
morning was come, and that I was well reposed, I rose up lustily. In the
meane season, they which were appointed to watch about the chamber all
night, reasoned with themselves in this sort, Verely (quoth one) I
think that this rude Asse be dead. So think I (quoth another) for the
outragious poyson of madness hath killed him, but being thus in divers
opinions of a poore Ass, they looked through a crevis, and espied me
standing still, sober and quiet in the middle of the chamber; then they
opened the doores, and came towards me, to prove whether I were gentle
or no. Amongst whom there was one, which in my opinion, was sent from
Heaven to save my life, that willed the other to set a bason of faire
water before me, and thereby they would know whether I were mad or no,
for if I did drinke without feare as I accustomed to do, it was a signe
that I was whole, and in mine Assie wits, where contrary if I did flie
and abhorre the tast of the water, it was evident proofe of my madness,
which thing he said that he had read in ancient and credible books,
whereupon they tooke a bason of cleere water, and presented it before
me: but I as soone as I perceived the wholesome water of my life, ran
incontinently, thrusting my head into the bason, drank as though I had
beene greatly athirst; then they stroked me with their hands, and bowed
mine eares, and tooke me by the halter, to prove my patience, but I
taking each thing in good part, disproved their mad presumption, by my
meeke and gentle behaviour: when I was thus delivered from this double
danger, the next day I was laded againe with the goddesse Siria, and
other trumpery, and was brought into the way with Trumpets and Cymbals
to beg in the villages which we passed by according to our custome. And
after that we had gone through a few towns and Castles, we fortuned to
come to a certaine village, which was builded (as the inhabitants there
affirme) upon the foundation of a famous ancient Citie. And after that
we had turned into the next Inne, we heard of a prettie jest committed
in the towne there, which I would that you should know likewise.