The History of Donald and His Dog (Glasgow)/Shiver and Shakey
SHIVER AND SHAKEY.
All you who're fond, in spite of price,
Nf pastries, ereams, and jellies nice,
Be cautious how you take an ice,
Whene'er you're over warm.
A merchant who from India came,
And shiver-and-Shakey was his name,
A pastrycook did once entice,
To take a cooling, luscious ice.
The weather hot enough to kill,
Kept tempting him to eat until
It gave his corpus such a chill,
He never again felt warm.
Shiver-and-Shakey, O, O, O,
Criminy crickey, isn't it cold?
Woo, woo, woo, woo, oo, oo, oo,
Behold the man that couldn't get warm.
Close to a blazing fire he got,
And took to drinking brandy hot,
And sent for doctors, such a lot,
The man that couldn't get warm.
We recommended chamois leather,
Flannel, shoes of India-rubber,
Mustard, chillis, and cayenne,
But nothing seem'd to warm the man;
And when the doctors took their fees,
It chill'd their blood full twelve degrees,
And really made their fingers freeze-
The man that couldn't get warm.
Shiver-and-Shakery, &c.
His room was hot enough to bake,
Aud yet he still with cold did ache,
Nay, made the servants shake and quake,
The man that couldn't get warm.
The nursery-maid, the scullion, cook,
E'en John and Coachman shiver'd and shook,
And all kept crying, night and morning,
"Ye really must give master varning."
What's worse, his wife began to pout,
And left his house quite chilled no doubt,
For it even frose his gardener out,
The man that couldn't get warm,
Shiver-and-Shakey, &c.
Then he with grief filled to the brim,
Resolved to go abroad by steam,
But not a ship would move with him,
The man that couldn't get warm
He went in the engine-room I'm told
And gave the stoker sudden cold,
Condensed the steam, which stopped the wheels,
And gave the passengers the chills.
The vessel ice-bound seemed, and so
The captain shiv'ring from top to toe,
Affirm'd on shore again must go,
The man that couldn't get warm.
Shivery-and-Shakery, O, O, O,
I say, messmates, isn't it cold
Woo, woo, &c.
The morning after he was drowned,
While in a hot bath, and they found
The water frozen all around
The man that couldn't get warm.
A jury proved it in a trice,
He died of undigested ice—
And then the foreman, Patrick Rice,
The verdict gave, with this advice,
"Och, have ice-cream whene'er you will,
But do not eat them till you're ill,
And always first take off the chill,
And swallow your ices warm.
Shiver-and-Shakery, &c.