The King of Schnorrers (Collection)/The Queen's Triplets
NCE upon a time there was a Queen who unexpectedly gave birth to three Princes. They were all so exactly alike that after a moment or two it was impossible to remember which was the eldest or which was the youngest. Any two of them, sort them how you pleased, were always twins. They all cried in the same key and with the same comic grimaces. In short, there was not a hair's-breadth of difference between them—not that they had a hair's-breadth between them, for, like most babies, they were prematurely bald. 344 THE QUEEN'S TRIPLETS.
The King was very much put out. He did not mind the expense of keeping three Heir Apparents, for that fell on the country, and was defrayed by an impost called "The Queen's Tax." But it was the consecrated custom of the kingdom that the crown should pass over to the eldest son, and the absence of accurate knowledge upon this point was perplexing. A triumvirate was out of the question ; the multiplication of monarchs would be vexa- tion to the people, and the rule of three would drive them mad.
The Queen was just as annoyed, though on different grounds. She felt it hard enough to be the one mother in the realm who could not get the Queen's bounty, without having to suffer the King's reproaches. Her heart was broken, and she died soon after of laryngitis.
To distinguish the triplets (when it was too late) they were always dressed one in green, one in blue, and one in black, the colours of the national standard, and naturally got to be popularly known by the sobriquets of the Green Prince, the Blue Prince, and the Black Prince. Every year they got older and older till at last they became young men. And every year the King got older and older till at last he became an old man, and the fear crept into his heart that he might be restored to his wife and leave the kingdom embroiled in civil feud unless he settled straightway who should be the heir. But, being human, notwithstanding his court laureates, he put off the disagreeable duty from day to day, and might have died without an heir, if the envoys from Paphlagonia had not aroused him to the necessity of a decision. For they announced that the Princess of Paphlagonia, being suddenly orphaned, would be sent to him in the twelfth moon that she might marry his eldest son as covenanted by ancient treaty. This was the last straw. " But I don't know who is my eldest son!" yelled the King, who had a vast respect for covenants and the Constitution.
In great perturbation he repaired to a famous Oracle, at that time worked by a priestess with her hair let down her back. 'The King asked her a plain question: "Which is my eldest son?"
After foaming at the mouth like an open champagne bottle, she replied:—
"The eldest is he that the Princess shall wed."
The King said he knew that already, and was curtly told that if the replies did not give satisfaction he could go elsewhere. So he went to the wise men and the magicians, and held a levée of them, and they gave him such goodly counsel that the Chief Magician was henceforth honoured with the privilege of holding the Green, Black, and Blue Tricolour over the King's head at mealtimes. Soon after, it being the
"My sons," he said, "ye are aware that, according to the immemorial laws of the realm, one of you is to be my heir, only I know not which of you he is; the difficulty is complicated by the fact that I have covenanted to espouse him to the Princess of Paphlagonia, of whose imminent arrival ye have heard. In this dilemma there are those who would set the sovereignty of the State upon the hazard of a die. But not by such undignified methods do I deem it prudent to extort the designs of the gods. There are ways alike more honourable to you and to me of ascertaining the intentions of the fates. And first, the wise men and the magicians recommend that ye be all three sent forth upon an arduous emprise. As all men know,
the soothsayers aver it beareth a charmed life, but it were a mighty achievement, if for only one year, the realm could be relieved of its oppression. Are ye willing to set forth separately upon this knightly quest?"
Then the three Princes made enthusiastic answer, entreating to be sped on the journey forthwith, and a great THE QUEEN'S TRIPLETS. 349
gladness ran through the Presence Chamber, for all had suffered much from the annual incursions of the monster. And the King's heart was fain of the gallant spirit of the Princes.
" Tis well," said he. "To-morrow, at the first dawn of the new year, shall ye fare forth together ; when ye reach the river ye shall part, and for eight moons shall ye wander whither ye will ; only, when the ninth moon rises, shall ye return and tell me how ye have fared. Hasten now, there- fore, and equip yourselves as ye desire, and if there be aught that will help you in the task, ye have but to ask for it."
Then, answering quickly before his brothers could speak, the Black Prince cried : " Sire, I would crave the magic boat which saileth under the sea and destroyeth mighty armaments."
" It is thine," replied the King.
Then the Green Prince said : " Sire, grant me the magic car which saileth through the air over the great seas."
The Black Prince started and frowned, but the King answered, " It is granted." Then, turning to the Blue Prince, who seemed lost in meditation, the King said : " Why art thou silent, my son? Is there nothing I can give thee? "
"Thanks, I will take a little pigeon," answered the Blue Prince abstractedly.
The courtiers stared and giggled, and the Black Prince chuckled, but the Blue Prince was seemingly too proud to back out of his request.
So at sunrise on the morrow the three Princes set forth, journeying together till they came to the river where they had agreed to part company. Here the magic boat was floating at anchor, while the magic car was tied to the trunk of a plane-tree upon the bank, and the little pigeon, fastened by a thread, was fluttering among the branches. P,oO THE QUEEN'S TRIPLETS.
Now, when the Green Prince saw the puny pigeon, he was like to die of laughing.
"Dost thou think to feed the Serpent with thy pigeon?"
he sneered. "I fear me thou wilt not choke him off thus."
, " And what hast thou to laugh at?" retorted the Black
Prince, interposing. " Dost thou think to find the Serpent
of the Sea in the air?"
" He is always in the air," murmured the Blue Prince, inaudibly.
" Nay," said the Green Prince, scratching his head dubiously. " But thou didst so hastily annex the magic boat, I had to take the next best thing."
"Dost thou accuse me of unfairness?" cried the Black Prince in a pained voice. " Sooner than thou shouldst say that, I would change with thee."
"Wouldst thou, indeed?" enquired the Green Prince eagerly.
" Ay, that would I," said the Black Prince indignantly. " Take the magic boat, and may the gods speed thee." So saying he jumped briskly into the magic car, cut the rope, and sailed aloft. Then, looking down contemptuously upon the Blue Prince, he shouted : " Come, mount thy pigeon, and be off in search of the monster."
But the Blue Prince replied, " I will await you here."
Then the Green Prince pushed off his boat, chuckling louder than ever. " Dost thou expect to keep the creature off our coasts by guarding the head of the river ? " he scoffed.
But the Blue Prince replied, " I will await you both here till the ninth moon."
No sooner were his brothers gone than the Blue Prince set about building a hut. Here he lived happily, fishing his meals out of the river or snaring them out of the sky. The pigeon was never for a moment in danger of being eaten. THE QUE EX'S TRIPLETS. 351
It was employed more agreeably to itself and its master in operations which will appear anon. Most of the time the Blue Prince lay on his back among the wild flowers, watch- ing the river rippling to the sea or counting the passing of the eight moons, that alternately swelled and dwindled, now showing like the orb of the Black Prince's car, now like the Green Prince's boat. Sometimes he read scraps of papyrus, and his face shone.
One lovely starry night, as the Blue Prince was watching the heavens, it seemed to him as if the eighth moon in dying had dropped out of the firmament and was falling upon him. But it was only the Black Prince come back. His garments were powdered with snow, his brows were knitted gloomily, he had a dejected, despondent aspect.
"Thou here !" he snapped.
" Of course," said the Blue Prince cheerfully, though he seemed a little embarrassed all the same. " Haven't I been here all the time ? But go into my hut, I've kept sapper hot for thee."
" Has the Green Prince had his? "
" No, I haven't seen anything of him. Hast thou scotched the Serpent? "
" No, I haven't seen anything of him," growled the Black Prince. "I've passed backwards and forwards over the entire face of the ocean, but nowhere have I caught the slightest glimpse of him. What a fool I was to give up the magic boat ! He never seems to come to the surface."
All this while the Blue Prince was dragging his brother with suspicious solicitude towards the hut, where he sat him down to his own supper of ortolans and oysters. But the host had no sooner run outside again, on the pretext of seeing if the Green Prince was coming, than there was
a disturbance and eddying in the stream as of a rally of 
"Good evening, hast thou er—scotched the Serpent? stammered the Blue Prince, taken aback. "No, [ haven't even seen anything of him," growled the Green Prince. "I have skimmed along the entire surface of the ocean, and sailed every inch beneath it, but nowhere
have I caught the slightest glimpse of him. What a fool I was to give up the magic car ! From a height I could have commanded an ampler area of ocean. Perhaps he was up the river."
" No, I haven't seen anything of him," replied the Blue Prince hastily. " But go into my hut, thy supper must be getting quite cold." He hurried his verdant brother into the hut, and gave him some chestnuts out of the oven (it was the best he could do for him), and then rushed outside again, on the plea of seeing if the Serpent was coming. But he seemed to expect him to come from the sky, for, leaning against the trunk of the plane-tree by the river, he resumed his anxious scrutiny of the constellations. Presently there was a gentle whirring in the air, and a white bird became visible, flying rapidly downwards in his direction. Almost at the same instant he felt himself pinioned by a rope to the tree-trunk, and saw the legs of the alighting pigeon neatly prisoned in the Black Prince's fist.
"Aha !" croaked the Black Prince triumphantly. "Now we shall see through thy little schemes."
. He detached the slip of papyrus which dangled from the pigeon's neck.
"How darest thou read my letters?" gasped the Blue Prince.
" If I dare to rob the mail, I shall certainly not hesitate to read the letters," answered the Black Prince coolly, and went on to enunciate slowly (for the light was bad) the following lines : —
" Heart-sick I watch the old moon's ling'ring death, And long upon my face to feel thy breath; I burn to see its final flicker die, And greet our moon of honey in the sky." "What is all this moonshine?" he concluded in bewilderment.
Now the Blue Prince was the soul of candour, and seeing that nothing could now be lost by telling the truth, he answered:—
"This is a letter from a damsel who resideth in the Tower of Telifonia, on the outskirts of the capital; we are 
the damsel of the tower. engaged. No doubt the language seemeth to thee a little overdone, but wait till thy turn cometh."
"And so thou hast employed this pigeon as a carrier between thee and this suburban young person?" cried the Black Prince, feeling vaguely boiling over with rage.
"Even so," answered his brother, "but guard thy tongue. The lady of whom thou speakest so disrespectfully is none other than the Princess of Paphlagonia."
"Eh? What?" gasped the Black Prince.
"She hath resided there since the twelfth moon of last year. The King received her the first time he set out to meet her."
"Dost thou dare say the King hath spoken untruth?"
"Nay, nay. The King is a wise man. Wise men never mean what they say. The King said she was confined to her room. It is true, for he had confined her in the Tower with her maidens for fear she should fall in love with the THE QUEEN'S TRIPLETS. 355
wrong Prince, or the reverse, before the rightful heir was discovered. The King said she would not arrive in the city till next year. This also is true. As thou didst rightly ob- serve, the Tower of Telifonia is situated in the suburbs. The King did not bargain for my discovering that a beauti- ful woman lived in its topmost turret."
" Nay, how couldst thou discover that? The King did not lend thee the magic car, and thou certainly couldst not see her at that height without the magic glass ! "
" I have not seen her. But through the embrasure i often saw the sunlight flashing and leaping like a thing of life, and I knew it was what the children call a i Johnny Noddy.' Now a 'Johnny Noddy' argueth a mirror, and a mirror argueth a woman, and frequent use thereof argueth a beautiful woman. So, when in the Presence Chamber the King told us of his dilemma as to the hand of the Princess of Paphlagonia, it instantly dawned upon me who the beau- tiful woman was, and why the King was keeping her hidden away, and why he had hidden away his meaning also. Wherefore straightway I asked for a pigeon, knowing that the pigeons of the town roost on the Tower of Telifonia, so that I had but to fly my bird at the end of a long string like a kite to establish communication between me and the fair captive. In time my little messenger grew so used to the journey to and fro that I could dispense with the string. Our courtship has been most satisfactory. We love each other ardentlv, and — "
" But you have never seen each other ! " interrupted the Black Prince.
" Thou forgettest we are both royal personages," said the Blue Prince in astonished reproof.
" But this is gross treachery — what right hadst thou to make these underhand advances in our absence?" 350 THE QUEEN'S TRIPLETS.
"Thou forgettest I had to scotch the Serpent," said the Blue Prince in astonished reproof. "Thou forgettest also that she can only marry the heir to the throne."
"Ah, true !" said the Black Prince, considerably relieved. "And as thou hast chosen to fritter away the time in making love to her, thou hast taken the best way to lose her."
"Thou forgettest I shall have to marry her," said the Blue Prince in astonished reproof. " Not only because I have given my word to a lady, but because I have promised the King to do my best to scotch the Serpent of the Sea. Really thou seemest terribly dull to-day. Let me put the matter in a nutshell. If he who scotches the Sea Serpent is to marry the Princess, then would I scotch the Sea Serpent by marrying the Princess, and marry the Princess to scotch the Sea Serpent. Thou hast searched the face of the sea, and our brother has dragged its depths, and nowhere have ye seen the Sea Serpent. Yet in the ninth moon he will surely come, and the land will be covered with an inky vomit as in former years. But if I marry the Princess of Paphlagonia in the ninth moon, the Royal Wedding will ward off the Sea Serpent, and not a scribe will shed ink to tell of his advent. Therefore, instead of ranging through the earth, I stayed at home and paid my addresses to the — "
" Yes, yes, what a fool I was ! " interrupted the Black Prince, smiting his brow with his palm, so that the pigeon escaped from between his fingers, and winged its way back to the Tower of Telifonia as if to carry his words to the Princess.
"Thou forgettest thou art a fool still," said the Blue Prince in astonished reproof. " Prithee, unbind me forth- with."
" Nay, I am a fool no longer, for it is I that shall wed the
Princess of Paphlagonia and scotch the Sea Serpent, it is I that have sent the pigeon to and fro, and unless thou makest me thine oath to be silent on the matter I will slay thee 
a jewelled scimitar shimmered in the starlight. and cast thy body into the river."
"Thou forgettest our brother, the Green Prince," said the Blue Prince in astonished reproof.
"Bah! he hath eyes for naught but the odd ortolans and oysters I sacrificed that he might gorge himself withal, while I spied out thy secret. He shall be told that I returned to exchange my car for thy pigeon even as I exchanged my boat for his car. Come, thine oath or thou diest." And a jewelled scimitar shimmered in the starlight.
The Blue Prince reflected that though life without love was hardly worth living, death was quite useless. So he swore and went in to supper. When he found that the Green Prince had not spared even a baked chestnut before he fell asleep, he swore again. And on the morrow when the Princes approached the Tower of Telifonia, with its flashing "Johnny Noddy," they met a courier from the King, who, having informed himself of the Black Prince's success, ran ahead with the rumour thereof. And lo! when the 358 THE QUEEN'S TRIPLETS.
Princes passed through the city gate they found the whole population abroad clad in all their bravery, and flags flying and bells ringing and roses showering from the balconies, and merry music swelling in all the streets for jov of the prospect of the Sea Serpent's absence. And when the new moon rose, the three Princes, escorted by flute-players, hied them to the Presence Chamber, and the King embraced his sons, and the Black Prince stood forward and explained that if a Prince were married in the ninth moon it would prevent the monster's annual visit. Then the King fell upon the Black Prince's neck and wept and said, "My son ! my son ! my pet ! my baby ! my tootsicums ! my popsy-wopsy ! "
And then, recovering himself, and addressing the courtiers, he said : " The gods have enabled me to discover my youngest son. If they will only now continue as propitious, so that I may discover the elder of the other two, I shall die not all unhappy."
But the Black Prince could repress his astonishment no longer. "Am I dreaming, sire?" he cried. "Surely I have proved myself the eldest, not the youngest ! "
"Thou forgettest that thou hast come off successful," replied the King in astonished reproof. " Or art thou so ignorant of history or of the sacred narratives handed down to us by our ancestors that thou art unaware that when three brothers set out on the same quest, it is always the youngest brother that emerges triumphant? Such is the will of the gods. Cease, therefore, thy blasphemous talk, lest they overhear thee and be put out."
A low, ominous murmur from the courtiers emphasised the King's warning.
" But the Princess — she at least is mine," protested the unhappy Prince. " We love each other — we are engaged."
"Thou forgettest she can only marry the heir," replied the King in astonished reproof. "Wouldst thou have us repudiate our solemn treaty?"
"But I wasn't really the first to hit on the idea at all!"
cried the Black Prince desperately. "Ask the Blue Prince! he never telleth untruth."
"Thou forgettest I have taken an oath of silence on the matter," replied the Blue Prince in astonished reproof. "The Black Prince it was that first hit on the idea," volun360 THE QUEEN'S TRIPLETS.
teered the Green Prince. " He exchanged his boat for the car and the car for the pigeon."
So the three Princes were dismissed, while the King took counsel with the magicians and the wise men who never mean what they say. And the Court Chamberlain, wearing the orchid of office in his buttonhole, was sent to interview the Princess, and returned saying that she refused to marry any one but the proprietor of the pigeon, and that she still had his letters as evidence in case of his marrying anyone else.
"Bah!" said the King, " she shall obey the treaty. Six feet of parchment are not to be put aside for the whim of a girl five foot eight. The only real difficulty remaining is to decide whether the Blue Prince or the Green Prince is the elder. Let me see — what was it the Oracle said ? Per- haps it will be clearer now : —
" 'The eldest is he that the Princess shall wed.'
No, it still seems merely to avoid stating anything new."
" Pardon me, sire," replied the Chief Magician ; " it seems perfectly plain now. Obviously, thou art to let the Princess choose her husband, and the Oracle guarantees that, other things being equal, she shall select the eldest. If thou hadst let her have the pick from among the three, she would have selected the one with whom she was in love — the Black Prince to wit, and that would have interfered with the Oracle's arrangements. But now that we know with whom she is in love, we can remove that one, and then, there being no reason why she should choose the Green Prince rather than the Blue Prince, the deities of the realm undertake to inspire her to go by age only."
"Thou hast spoken well," said the King. "Let the THE QUEEN'S TRIPLETS. 3G1
Princess of Paphlagonia be brought, and let the two Princes return."
So after a space the beautiful Princess, preceded by trum- peters, was conducted to the Palace, blinking her eyes at the unaccustomed splendour of the lights. And the King and all the courtiers blinked their eyes, dazzled by her loveliness. She was clad in white samite, and on her shoulder was perched a pet pigeon. The King sat in his moire robes on the old gold throne, and the Blue Prince stood on his right hand, and the Green Prince on his left, the Black Prince as the youngest having been sent to bed early. The Princess courtesied three times, the third time so low that the pigeon was flustered, and flew off her shoulder, and, after circling about, alighted on the head of the Blue Prince.
" It is the Crown," said the Chief Magician, in an awe- struck voice. Then the Princess's eyes looked around in search of the pigeon, and when they lighted on the Prince's head they kindled as the grey sea kindles at sunrise.
An answering radiance shone in the Blue Prince's eyes, as, taking the pigeon that nestled in his hair, he let it fly towards the Princess. But the Princess, her bosom heaving as if another pigeon fluttered beneath the white samite, caught it and set it free again, and again it made for the Blue Prince.
Three times the bird sped to and fro. Then the Princess raised her humid eyes heavenward, and from her sweet lips rippled like music the verse : —
" Last night I watched its final flicker die."
And the Blue Prince answered : —
" Xow greet our moon of honey in the sky." 
Halt" tainting with rapture the Princess fell into his arms, and from all sides of the great hall arose the cries, " The Heir ! The Heir ! Long live our future King ! The eldest-born ! The Oracle's fulfilled ! "
Such was the origin of lawn tennis, which began with people tossing pigeons to each other in imitation of the Prince and Princess in the Palace Hall. And this is why love plays so great a part in the game, and that is how the match was arranged between the Blue Prince and the Prin- cess of Paphlagonia.