The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman/Volume 4/Chapter 23

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CHAP. XXIII.

— But can the thing be undone, Yorick? said my father—for in my opinion, continued he, it cannot. I am a vile canonist, replied Yorick—but of all evils, holding suspense to be the most tormenting, we shall at least know the worst of this matter. I hate these great dinners—said my father—The size of the dinner is not the point, answered Yorick—we want, Mr. Shandy, to dive into the bottom of this doubt, whether the name can be changed or not—and as the beards of so many commissaries, officials, advocates, proctors, registers, and of the most able of our school-divines, and others, are all to meet in the middle of one table, and Didius has so pressingly invited you,—who in your distress would miss such an occasion? All that is requisite, continued Yorick, is to apprize Didius, and let him manage a conversation after dinner so as to introduce the subject—Then my brother Toby, cried my father, clapping his two hands together, shall go with us.

—Let my old tye wig, quoth my uncle Toby, and my laced regimentals, be hung to the fire all night, Trim.