The Lincolnshire Knight (1802)/The Lincolnshire Knight
The LINCOLNSHIRE KNIGHT.
A Certain knight from Lincolnshire,
came up to London city,
On purpose for to show his parts
good L——d how wondrous witty;
He slash'd away there were none so gay,
but at home the case was alter'd,
At carrying victuals, watching beer,
this knight he never faulter'd.
Full many a change of men he had,
maid-servants soon were quitting;
For there to stay and starve their guts,
they thought it was not fitting;
But one more bold than all the rest,
rogue Jack they did him call Sir,
He swore with pinch-gut he wou'dn't stay,
whatever might befal Sir.
On Monday Jack begun his work,
on Tuesday got no dinner;
And Wednesday he must hold a fast,
and Thursday he look'd thinner;
On Friday it no better was,
on Saturday not alter'd,
Quoth Jack I'll play this Knight a trick,
though for it I get halter'd.
He went to Moses Levy who,
had picklock keys in store Sir;
Who soon provided Jack with one,
to ope the cellar door Sir;
Also the cupboard 'twould unlock,
then might he get his fill Sir,
So to get himself in flesh again,
his grinders ne'er stood still Sir.
Great devastation he did make,
his teeth were never quiet;
The small beer it escap'd his rage,
because the strong stood by it,
The Knight began to storm and swear,
to find his cupboard plunder'd,
But how the devil it was done,
this Chelsea Knight much wonder'd.
At length Jack found his schemes they were
all drawing to an end, Sir;
Because this Knight resolved was
his cupboard to defend, Sir;
Eight times a night from his warm bed,
Sir Chealsea down the stair came,
Quoth Jack for this. I'll play a trick,
and thus he plan'd his rare game.
He bought some cloth and made a dress,
look'd like Belzebub of old, Sir,
Long tail, large horns, and furious eyes,
most dreadful to observe, Sir;
Arm'a with a whip, in kitchen stood,
at night Sir Charles came down,
Who when he saw this spectre grim,
upright stood the hair on his crown.
The Knight bad only on his shirt,
so Jack lash'd him with great fury;
In vain he loud for mercy beg'd,
but Jack was judge and jury;
At length his cries the servants heard,
came down into the place, Sir,
Befoul'd upon the ground he lay,
all in a woeful case, Sir.
They clean'd and brought him out of fits,
up stairs did him convey straight;
He vow'd the devil had done this trick,
and was sure for him did there wait.
May this a warning be to such Knights,
who bolt and bar the small beer;
For had not Sir Charles been so mean,
he Belzebub had need not fear.