The Merry Muses of Caledonia/Nine Inch will Please a Lady

by Robert Burns

NINE INCH WILL PLEASE A LADY.

Tune—"The Quaker's Wife,"

Anonymous, but evidently old; perhaps brushed up a little.

Come rede me, dame, come tell me, dame,
My dame, come tell me truly.
What length o' graith, when weel ca'd hame,
Will ser'e a woman duly?
The carlin clew her wanton tail,
Her wanton tail sae ready;
I learn't a sang in Annandale,
Nine inch will please a lady.

But for a countrie c—t like mine.
In sooth we're nae sae gentle;
We'll tak' twa thumb-bread to the nine,
And that's a sonsie p—t—e.
O leeze me on my Charlie lad!
I'll ne'er forget my Charlie!
Twa roarin' handfu' and a daud,
He nidg't it in fu' rarely.

But weary fa' the laithern doup.
And may it ne'er ken thrivin';
It's no the length that gars me loup.
But it's the double drivin'.
Come nidge me Tam, come nodge me Tam,
Come nidge me o'er the nyvle;
Come louse and lug your batterin' ram.
And thrash him at my gyvel.