The Patient Countess

by Anonymous

THE

PATIENT COUNTESS.

AN OLD

BALLAD.

Printed by J. Chalmers and Co. Aberdeen

THE PATIENT COUNTESS

IMPATIENCE changeth smoak to flame But jealousy is hell:Some wives by patience have reduc’d, ill husbands to live well;As did the Lady of an earl, Of whom I now shall tell.

An earl there was had wedded, lov’d, Was lov’d and lived longFull true to his fair Countess, yet At last he did her wrong.Once hunted he untill the chace, falling and the heat,Did house him in a parish grange, Within a forest great.

Where known and welcom’d, (as the place, And persons might afford)Brown bread, whig, bacon, curds, and milk,  Were set him on the board.A cushion made of lilts, a stool Half backed with a hoop.Were brought him and he sitteth down, Beside a sorry coup.

The poor old couple wish’d their bread Were wheat, their whig were perry,Their bacon beer, their milk and cruds Were cream to make him merry. Mean while in russet neatly clad, With linen white as swan,Herself more white save rosy were, The ruddy colour ran.

Whom naked nature nor the aids. Of art made to excell;The good mans daughter stirs to see, That all were feat and well;The earl did mark her and admire Such beauty there to dwell.

Yet falls he to their homely fare, And held him at a feast;But as his hunger flaked so An amorous heat increas’d.When this repast was past and thanks, And welcome too he said,Unto his host and hostess in The hearing of the maid.—

Ye know (quoth he) that I am Lord, Of this and many towns;I also know that you are poor, And I can spare some pounds.So will I so ye will consent, That yonder lass and IMay bargain for her love at least, Do give me leave to try,Who needs to know it! nay who dares, Into my doings pry.

First they mislike yet at the length For lucre were misled,And then the gamesome earl did win The damsel for his bed.He took her in his arms as yet, So coyish to be kiss’d:As maids who know themselves belov’d, and yieldingly resist.

In few his offers were so large, She lastly did consent;With whom he lodged all that night And early home he went.He took occasion oftentimes, In such a sort to hunt;Whom when his lady often miss'd, Contrary to his wont.

And lastly was informed of His amorous haunt elsewhere:It griev'd her not a little though She seem’d it well to bear.And thus she reasons with herself, Some fault perhaps in me;Somewhat is done that so he doth, Alas! what may it be.

How may I win him to myself, He is a man, and menHave imperfections, it behoves Me pardon nature then. To check him were to make him eheck, Altho' he now were chaste;A man controuled of his wife, To make her lesser haste.

If duty then or dalliance may Prevail to alter him,He will be dutiful and make, Myself for dalliance trim.So was she, and so lovingly, Did entertain her Lord,As fairer, or more faultless none Could be for bed or board

Yet still he loves his leman, and Did still pursue his game,Suspecting nothing less than that, His lady knew the same:Wherefore to make him know she knew, She this devise did frame.

When long she had been wrong’d and sought The foresaid means in vain,She rideth to the simple grange, But with a slender train.She lighteth, entereth greets them well, And then did look about her,The guilty household knowing her, Did wish themselves without her,Yet, for Are looked merrily, The less they did misdoubt her. When she had seen the beauteous wench (Than blushing fairness fairer)Such beauty made the Countess hold Them both excus’d the rather.

Who would not bite at such a bait, Thought she: and who (though lothSo poor a wench, but gold might tempt, Sweet errors lead them both.Scarce one and twenty that had brag’d Of proffer’d gold deny’d,Or of such yielding beauty baulk’d But, ten to one had ly’d.

Thus, thought she; and she thus declares Her cause of coming thither;My Lord, oft hunting in these parts, Through travel night or weather,Hath often lodged in your house, I thank you for the same;For why—it doth him jolly ease To lie so near his game.

But, for you have no furniture, Beseeming such a guest,I bring his own, and come myself To see his lodging drest.With that two sumpters were discharg’d, In which were hangings braveSilk coverings, curtains, carpets, plate, and all such turn should have. Then all was handsomely dispos’d, She prays them to have careThat nothing hap in their default, That might his health impair.

⟨And⟩ damsel, quoth she, for it seems This household is but three;⟨And⟩ for thy parents age that this Shall chiefly rest on thee.⟨Do⟩ me that good else would to God He hither come no more;⟨So⟩ she took horse, but ere she went Bestowed gold good store.

⟨Full⟩ little thought the county that, His Countess had done so;⟨Who⟩ now return’d from far affairs, Did to his sweetheart go.⟨No⟩ sooner set he foot within The late deformed cote,⟨But⟩ that the formal change of things His wond’ring eyes did note.

⟨But⟩ when he knew those goods to be His proper goods of late;⟨Scarce⟩ taking leave, he home returns The matter to debate.The Countess was abed and he With her his lodging took;⟨Sir⟩ welcome home quoth she this night For you I did not look.

Then he did question her of such His stuff bestowed soForsooth (quoth she) because I did Your love and lodging know.Your love to be a proper wench Your lodging nothing less;I held it for your health the house, More decently to dress.

Well wot I notwithstanding her, Your Lordship loveth me;And greater hope to hold you such By quiet than brawls you see.Then for my duty your delight. And to retain your favour,All done I did and patiently, Expect your wonted ’haviour.

Her patience wit and answer brought His gentle tear, to fall:When kissing her a score of times Amend sweet wife I shall.He said; and did it so each wife, Her husband may recall.

FINIS.

Printed by J. Chalmers & Co. Aberdeen.