The Pearl/Volume 6/FABLES AND MAXIMS.
THE TWO WOLVES.
"What a nasty smell there is in this den," said one wolf to another; "have you shit yourself?"
"No," said the other.
"Then," said the first wolf, "I must have done so myself." So he had. The moral of this fable is that though ever ready to spy into the defects of others, we are apt to overlook our own imperfections.
THE DOG AND THE COCK.
"What a large fellow you are!" said the Cock to the Dog. "I can fuck half-a-dozen hens, while you are getting halfway in."
"Very likely," said the Dog, "but when I am in I stay there fancy; look at my prick compared to yours. I don't call yours fucking at all, it's over before it's well begun." This fable teaches that I like a long prick best.
THE MONKEY AND THE DILDOE.
A pet monkey who had watched his mistress fill her dildoe with cream, waited a chance when she had ceased using it, being called away for a few minutes. "Now," said he, "I will have my fill of cream," so he sucked away, but unfortunately the lady had contracted syphilis, and the monkey died in convulsions. The moral of this fable is, that you should never suck dildoes.
THE FOX AND THE GANDER.
"You want a good stiff prick up your arse," said the Fox, when he found he could not catch the Gander.
"I've got one; I always wear it there," said the Gander, chuckling. "Sold again! Yah! Bloody Fool!" The Fox slunk off abashed. This shows that the same repartee does not suit everyone.