The Sailor's Wife's Policy, or, the Knowing Barber Taken in/Faults on both Sides
FAULTS ON BOTH SIDES.
Come wife sit down by me, I pray thee draw near,
For now I'm resolv'd your faults you shall hear,
My anger you get and my passions you rouze,
To offer to lord it so over your spouse;
When marry'd, you know, you vow'd to obey,
But say what I will, you'll have your own way,
I pray madam tell me; what is it you mean?
Don't think I'll bear these affronts you bold queen.
Your bed in the morning so highly you prize,
Till ten or eleven you seldom can rise,
And then you're resolv'd to have your desire,
And straight goes the tea-kettle over the fire.
And in comes your gossips to prat and to chat,
Of this and of t'other, and no one knows what,
There's pratling and tatling until it be noon,
By which time your dinner ought to be done.
Fine clothes you are often wanting to buy,
Let me go as fine as my neighbours, you cry,
Still longing for every new fashion you see,
And till you have got it you'll ne'er easy be.
But if I find fault then your tongue it will run,
So fast, one would think 'twould never have done,
For if in your humour you're ever controul'd,
I am certain to hear a most damnable scold.
You rise when you will, lie down when you please,
Indulging yourself and still taking your ease,
Whilst mine is the labour, 'tis your's is the gain,
But I've nought but ill words & ill looks for my pains.
But if you're so saucy and puft up with pride,
You'll force me ere long to be banging your hide;
You need not to fear I shall pay off your score,
So pray wife take care and provoke me no more.