The Soldier's Return (2)/The Irish Smugglers

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For other versions of this work, see The Irish Smugglers.
4328298The Soldier's Return — The Irish SmugglersAnonymous

THE IRISH SMUGGLERS.

From Brighton two Paddies walk'd under the cliff
For pebbles and shells to explore,
When, low! a small barrel was dropp'd from the skiff,
Which floated, at length, to the shore
Says Dermot to Pat we the owner will bilk—
To-night we'll be merry and frisky;
I know it as well as my own mother's milk,
Dear joy, 'tis a barrel of whisky.

Says Pat, I'll soon broach it, О fortunate lot!
(Now Pat you must know, was no joker;)
I'll go to Tom Murphy, who lives in the cot.
And borrow his kitchen hot pocker.
'Twas said, and 'twas done—the barrel was bor'd
(No Bacchanals ever felt prouder,)
When Paddy found out a small error on board,
The whisky, alas! was gunpowder.

With sudden explosion, he flew o'er the ocean,
And high in air, sported a leg;
Yet instinct prevails when philosophy fails,
So he kept a tight hold of the keg.
But Dermet bawl'd out, with a terrible shout,
I'm not to be chous'd, Mr. Wiseman,
If you do not come down I'll run into the town
And, by St. Patrick, I'll tell the exciseman.