The Sorrowful Husband (Glasgow)/The Sorrowful Husband

From Wikisource
Jump to navigation Jump to search
4626067The Sorrowful Husband — The Sorrowful HusbandAnonymous

The Sorrowful Husband.

You bold sons of Mars, who've been jaded in wars,
And subject to many commanders,
Who fought at the Nile, and siege of Bellisle,
Where cannons did rattle in Flanders:
It is a far better life than be tied to a wife,
What signifies all these alarms?
The loss was to me, for I had a long spree,
And ne'er got a cessation of arms.

Chorus
I've been foolish while young, and still in the wrong,
The tempers of women disturb me;
The world may wag, for I've got the bag,
And thousands have got it before me.

I was foolish while young, and took my own will,
And wisdom to me was a stranger,
I began for to court, and I married for sport,
I was not aware of the danger.
At length, to my woe, I match'd with a doe,
She early began to the brawling,
These thirteen long years she has rung in my ears,
And besides her stiff words a good mauling.

Hard lingo and din they make me look thin,
And my garments are all out of order:
My wife she does jibe, and wallops my hide,
And ten times docs make me cry murder!
I oft heard it spoke there was virtue in oak,
I tri'd it, but found it a folly,
She beat me full sore, I was forc'd to give o'er,
And never more lift the shilelah.

Modesty is dead, and virtue is fled,
And wisdom's deserted the nation;
The beautiful sound of honour's call'd down,
It fill'd my poor heart with vexation.
Now, my brave boys, is the time to be wise,
And guard against female delusion,
For the fairest you see they create misery,
And end with great shame and confusion.

Great Samson was strong, but by women was flung,
And women made Solomon simple;
Both Adam with Eve, and Jacob a slave,
And Troy they have made an example;
Had I woman's skill, all the French I would kill,
Or bring them to capitulation,
And with my broad sword I would end the discord,
And reconcile every nation.

If my wife she should die, not a word I would cry,
Nor no one should hear me lamenting,
But single again, while life would remain,
Experience would settle my ranting.
Were I age seventeen, and proffer'd a queer,
And all the riches that adorned Jerusalem,
The devil a she should ever catch me,
Tho' I'd live to be as old as Methuselah.