The Three Advices/The Silent Man
THE SILENT MAN.
Perhaps there never existed a mortal of a more whimsical kind of character than myself. Silence has been my motto from my cradle; nor ever has it been remembered that I uttered three syllables at a time when there was the smallest possibility of making two answer the same end.
It has often been remarked, by those who had the care of me in my infancy, that I never laughed, cried, or expressed the smallest attempt at articulation, notwithstanding every means was employed by my parents which bore the least probability of accomplishing this desired effect.
In this state of taciturnity I continued till I arrived at my fifteenth year, when my father began to entertaiu thoughts of placing me as an apprentice, desiring me to make choice of some profession I should like. After having examined into the whole circle of the arts and sciences, I made choice of a timnir; my reason for giving this the preference was, that I thought it the most favourable to my darling doctrine, Sience.
The term of my apprenticeship being expired, I entered into business for myself: but soon began to perceive the absolute necessity I lay under for a wife. I accordingly fixed my affections on a young lady my next door neighbour, who was no stranger to my peculiarity of character, and therefore the most likely to produce promotion towards my domestic happiness. Notwithstanding I was determined upon the mateh, yer I could not at any rate prevail upon myself to open my lips to her; but I spoke very forcibly—with my eyes.—I began to follow her with the greatest assiduity; always, however, paying a proper regard to the tacit singularity of my disposition. Was she at church—so was I—was she at the play—so was I. I attended her like a shadow, equally as constant and equally silent.
My attention to her at last attracted the observation of her mother, who, having sent for me, addressed me nearly as follows:—“I have observed, Sir, that you have lately behaved in so very particular a manner to my daughter, that it would be highly indiscreet and unpardonable in me, as her mother, any longer to overlook it; I have, therefore, sent for you to know your intentions, from yourself. If your views are dishonourable, I beg you will remove them to some other object. If, on the contrary, you are actuated by honourable principles, it is time you should now declare it, as my daughter’s reputation may be hurt by a continuance of your particularity. In a word, Sir, is it your intention to make my daughter your wife?” As I found there was now a necessity for speaking, I gently squeezed her hand, and said, “Yes.” Thus ended this remarkable courtship with only one word on my side, and still less on that of my intended wife’s.
A close attention to business having gredtly impaired my health, I was advitsed to take a country lodging for lhe benefit of the air; but a linguar noise is not the only one I dislike; I am for ever changing my situation. In one place, I was disturbed in the morning by the crowing of a cock; in another, by the barking of a dog; and in the third, by the pattling of a parrot. In brief, my silent disposition makes me miserable every where; therefore I am determined to immediately return to London, where, in the variety of noise, neither cocks, dogs, pigs, nor parrots, can be particularly noticed; and till my arrival, I subscribe myself,