The Truth about Marriage/Chapter14
CHAPTER XIV
MARRYING FOR A HOME
"Is it worth while to marry for a home?"
This question obviously came from a woman, although many a man has asked himself whether it would not be wise to marry a good housewife and settle down to a comfortable home life, even without romance.
People who ask if it is worthwhile to marry for a home are often people who have been married and have lost their homes for one reason or another. They want to experience once more what it meant in former years to have a good comfortable harbor of refuge from the storms of life.
It looks fascinating to them. They picture the firelight glow, and the cosy corner, the tempting warm meal at evening time served from the kitchen to hungry folks glad to escape from the world into what we know as home.
The joy of some women is to make such a home for a man and to feel his strong arms ready to reach out in protection. Women want to be protected after they have been buffeted about a little by unfeeling people.
Of course, it is worth while to marry for a home if one gets the love and sympathy and understanding that go with our ideal of a perfect home; but can that always be counted on?
I know a woman who married again in order to get a home, and who now works out as a maid, while her husband is far away living his own life. I do not know how much he got of her money.
I have known of other women who married for a home, while the man they married thought chiefly of the woman's property. It is rather easy for a woman hungry for love to empty her pocketbook to a designing man.
Women who try marriage again for the sake of a home are apt to find it hard to get on with a man who wants all the comforts of life at the expense of her unremitting labor, who is apt to be selfish, and grouchy, and set in his ways.
I knew a woman who tried marriage out twice with men and who was compelled to divorce each one for good cause, and yet said, "It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all." That is not my idea of happiness, and it is a very poor excuse for marriage.
But if you insist on marrying for a home, investigate the opportunity carefully first, just as you would investigate buying a farm. Don't take too much for granted. Be sure that your admirer hasn't his eyes fixed chiefly on your little property.
Then, think of the men who have married for the sake of a home and have fallen into the hands of designing women.
For unmarried people who think it worth while to marry for a home and thus try to get along without romance in marriage, I would say that it is not unlike eating pancakes without syrup or cake without sweetening; but I suppose there are unhappy souls who are willing to take half a loaf rather than have no bread, or the form of marriage without its soul.
I question greatly whether marriage in such a case is really a marriage. It seems more like business—something commercial. Some people seem to be satisfied with shadows rather than reality. But it must be a very empty life that can be satisfied with a soulless marriage, that will give the body and oftentimes one's hard labor in exchange for a home. There may be extenuating circumstances.