The Truth about Marriage/Chapter36
CHAPTER XXXVI
MARRIAGE A MOCKERY?
Here is a question that comes to me: "Don't you frankly believe that marriage is usually a hollow mockery? It promises much, but do you really believe that it often fulfils its promise?"
That question evidently comes from a pessimist, possibly from one who has tried marriage out, and because of his own failure believes that all marriages are a failure. That is the way we humans have of sizing a thing up,—by our own experience. Possibly the man who asks the question has merely observed marriage in others and thereby has grown cynical, become a crusty old bachelor.
Whoever he is, whatever his own personal experience, my answer is: Marriage is sometimes a hollow mockery, but in such cases it is due to the fact that it is entered into from wrong motives. Let us say from lust, or from convenience, or from the desire to have a home, or from parental pressure, or some other imperfect motive.
Possibly it is a failure because of the failure of one or both parties before the marriage to ascertain if there was mutual fitness for each other, mutual congeniality. Possibly from ignorance of what marriage really means. Possibly from selfishness on the part of one or both of the contracting parties.
Marriage has two parts, an external and an internal. Too many people think of marriage as merely an external form, and give no attention to the soul of it. An external marriage is like a house without any furniture, thus empty, or with ill-assorted furniture. Marriage for its happiness depends upon what we ourselves put into it.
Marriage is also to be thought of as a partnership. We all know very well what a partnership in business is if the partners do not agree. It is not possible for any two men whatsoever to become associated in business successfully if, ill-mated, they do not agree with each other in the many details that arise in the conduct of the business. In marriage the partnership is far more intimate.
Our pessimistic friend ought to know that business partnerships are not necessarily failures; they may be, and often are; but that is due to inability of the partners to agree with each other.
He might likewise know that marriages are failures because of many reasons not inherent in the relationship itself. Marriage promises much only to those who enter into marriage intelligently.
Therefore we are pleading for education for this most beautiful of human relationships, in order that every marriage may be a success.