The young man's guide/Part 3: Manhood
PART THIRD
On the Journey of Life
"Take thou courage and show thyself a man" (3 Kings ii. 2).
"Watch ye, stand fast in the Faith, do manfully" (1 Cor. xvi. 13).
"The greatest man is he who chooses right with the most invincible resolution; who resists the severest temptation from within and without; who bears the heaviest burdens cheerfully; who is calmest in storms, and most fearless under menaces and frowns; whose reliance on truth, on virtue, and on God is most unfaltering
- Seneca.
"A man he seems of cheerful yesterdays And confident to-morrows."
- Wordsworth.
Of manners gentle, of affection mild; In wit a man, simplicity a child.
- Pope.
"Virtue itself offends, when coupled with forbidding manners." - Middleton.
"Roughness is a needless cause of discontent. Severity breedeth fear, but roughness breedeth hate; even reproofs from authority ought to be grave, and not taunting." - Lord Bacon.
In simple manners all the secret lies: Be kind and virtuous, you'll be blest and wise.
- Young.
Manhood
LXXVII. Manliness
MANLINESS implies self-control, conscientiousness, moral courage, fearless discharge of duty in the face of obloquy and prejudice, firm determination to do what is right because it is right and pleasing to God, without regard to human respect, expediency, or popularity, a steadfast adherence to one's religious principles and convictions - in a word, an upright Christian character.
"Self-reverence, self-knowledge, self-control, These three alone lead life to sovereign power: Yet not for power - power by herself Would come uncalled for - but to live by law. Acting the law we live by without fear; And, because right is right, to follow right Were wisdom in the scorn of consequence."
- Tennyson.
" Act like a man; take courage and do; and be not dismayed " (1 Paral, xxviii. 20).
" Do ye manfully, and let your heart be strengthened - all ye that hope in the Lord " (Ps. xxx. 25).
"Behold, I command thee, take courage and be strong. Fear not, and be not dismayed; because the Lord thy God is with thee in all things " (Jos. i. 9).
"If God be for us, who is against us? (Rom. viii. 31).
"He that feareth man shall quickly fall he that trusteth in the Lord, shall be set on high" (Prov. xxix. 25).
"I myself will comfort you; who art thou, that thou shouldst be afraid of a mortal man, who shall wither away like grass?" (Is. li. 12) .
"Who is he that can hurt you, if you be zealous of good?" (1 Peter iii. 13).
Strive to be a manly man! A manly man is a man of character; one who is controlled by conscience; one who does his duty under all circumstances; one who is swayed by reason, by faith, by moral principles - not by every passing impulse, not by transient emotions, not by fancy or caprice, not by human respect. A manly man is one who is endowed with the courage of his convictions; one who is conscientious, sincere, truthful, honest, upright, just and charitable, unselfish and magnanimous, kind and gentle: one who practises what he preaches, whose life is consistent with his faith; one who heeds the admonition of his Creator: "Walk before Me and be perfect" (Gen. vii. 1); "Thou shalt be perfect and. without spot before the Lord thy God" (Deut. xviii. 13); one, in fine, who may be called truly a Christian gentleman - who seeks to please God first and always, and then observes the Golden Rule: "As you would that men should do to you, do you also to them in like manner" (Luke vi. 31).
Vacillation of mind, feebleness of will, unsteadiness of purpose, want of courage, energy, and perseverance - these militate against success in the battle of life, and impede a man's progress in the way of virtue and perfection.
A firm will underlies every good and strong character, and to the lack of it must be attributed much unhappiness and misery in the world.
Strength of character includes both firmness of will and the power of self-restraint. A man, for instance, who yields to anger, and whose bursts of fury make his subjects tremble, may appear to be strong, as he ruthlessly bears all before him, but he is really weak - pitiably weak. He has not conquered himself; he is mastered by his passions. He lacks self-control, and therefore he is not strong. That man is great, that man is strong, who subdues his feelings, suppresses his evil inclinations, and bridles his passions,
"The patient man is better than the valiant, and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh cities" (Prov. xvi. 32).
"He is most powerful who has himself in his power." - Seneca.
"He who reigns within himself and rules passions, desires, and fears, is more than a king." - Milton.
"There never did and never will exist anything permanently noble and excellent in a character which was a stranger to the exercise of resolute self -denial" - Sir Walter Scott.
Father Von Doss, S.J., says: "There are characters so wavering that one is scarcely able to describe or portray them. Now joyous, now sad; sometimes disposed to good; again inclined to evil; at one time impetuous, at another hesitating, in constant agitation, in eternal waves of commotion - their hearts remain even to themselves inexplicable riddles. Such men are tossed on the ocean of life, like ships without rudder or helm.
"Do you not know -that it is said of the fool that he is changed as the moon (Ecclus. xxvii. 12), and of the just man that he is an everlasting foundation? (Prov. x. 25).
"Alas I for those soft, unstable characters which are capable of being molded at will!
"Who shall discover in such a youth the man of the future? He is full of inconsistencies. In his changeable nature timidity sometimes yields to a spirit of enterprise; coldness, to that of enthusiasm. He is given to violent and easily formed attachments! Although susceptible to virtue, yet evil impressions leave behind in his heart far deeper traces.
"This inconstancy takes such a hold on some, that even their exterior - their looks, carriage, gait, speech, and gestures - bear testimony to it.
"God grant that a young man of that sort may never be approached by a seducer! What an easy prey he would find!
"There are characters so flighty that even God's grace seems inefficacious in their regard. Interior admonitions, salutary inspirations, good example - all these, and even more, produce no effect; for the volatile soul pays no attention to them, refuses to co-operate with them.
"Pitiable characters, who can be transformed into reliable men only with great difficulty and the most indefatigable perseverance!
"Yet such natures are by no means incorrigible.
"No, young man! despond not! Earnest efforts must be successful.
"First of all, be humble, and acknowledge your inconstancy. Then, endeavor to cope with it in detail.
"Have the courage necessary to keep a strict watch over yourself for a time; and by continually renewing your good resolutions fight against the failings you discover within you.
"Accustom yourself to quiet and reflection. Do not act precipitately nor impetuously. Render an account to yourself of all that you do.
"Do not permit your feelings to get the upper hand; rather strive to become the master of your own heart.
"Nothing is more disgusting than a sentimental piety,
"Nothing is further from perfection than that external piety which derives its sweetness from the feelings alone.
"Nothing is more inefficacious than a piety which lives only on impressions.
"Of course, there is a sensible devotion, and it is of value; for it is a gift of the Holy Ghost and may be made an excellent means pf virtue. But there is, also, a disposition of the heart we may call it a sort of dainty piety - which is a great drawback to virtue. It inflates the spirit, and leaves the heart empty. It seizes upon the spiritual ' tidbits, while good, substantial food is wanting to the soul.
"Do you know in what manly piety consists? In this - that man's will (which constitutes his manliness) be employed in its full strength for God's honor and glory, in His holy service.
"If a commandment of God is to be kept, it is ready to keep it.
"If a good fight is to be fought for principle and virtue, it is ready for action.
"If a difficulty is to be overcome, it is ready for the task.
"Manly piety does not, by any means, despise or disregard external practices of piety, but it regulates them and brings them in harmony with the duties of one's station in life; it keeps away everything extraordinary, end despising the mere appearance, and insisting more upon the interior spirit, it reaches to the heart Proceeding to sacrifice, it labors and toils, struggles and conquers.
"Does it appear to you, that too much is required of you when you are asked to cultivate such manliness?
"Make, at least, the attempt, and begin. 'Lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees' (Heb. xii. 12).
"There are children enough, and plenty of weaklings. Be manly; and, although young in years, put to shame those who call themselves mature, although not such either in thought or deed.
"The world needs men - not grand geniuses or plausible talkers. It is not sentimentality and dreams that will save it, but acts and deeds. It was not merely by revelations and visions that the saints became such, but by spiritual combat, by self-denial, and overcoming the enemies of their souls.
"Expect the Lord, do manfully, and let thy heart take courage, and wait thou for the Lord" (Ps. xxvi. 14).
"There is only one thing of which a man ought to be ashamed - of evil - to do evil, or to have done it.
"But, miserably enough, he is often ashamed of the very opposite, of avoiding evil and doing good.
"The thought of being ridiculed, blamed, or despised by others, disquiets him; he becomes confused and alarmed; he acts contrary to his better convictions. The inspiration to good is slighted, the favorable opportunity passes - he is overcome - conscience, virtue, God, are surrendered t
"Young people yield easier than others to this false shame, this foolish fear - because their imaginations are so lively, their minds so susceptible to all impressions.
"How many conversions from evil to good, and from good to better, does not this human respect prevent! How much evil does it not cause, how much good does it not frustrate!
"What will they think of me? What will they say to it? They will laugh at me, ridicule me. How can I separate myself from this, or from that? How can I give up this one or that one? They will think hard of me; it will look odd and singular!
"The whole world is full of such cowards and often those who boast most of their independence are the most pitiful slaves of this mean passion.
"Honor - much-abused word! Does honor consist in cowardly compliance, in a more than untimely readiness to please? in sacrificing conscience? in surrendering our highest and best convictions?
"Has he honor who lies down in cringing servitude - the bond-slave of a word, a jest, a look, a reproach?
"Coward! - for such you are, and as such you are regarded even by those to whom you yield - coward! Why do you suffer yourself to be thus enslaved?
"Are those whom you so much fear your legitimate lords and masters?
"God alone is, by right, your Lord and Master. From Him you have your being; He can take it away from you at His pleasure, whenever He wills - and not they. He shall one day judge you. His good pleasure must be of more value to you than all the displeasure of men. God's displeasure can not be outweighed by all the good pleasure of men.
"'Be not afraid of them that kill the body, and after that have no more that they can do. But I will show you whom you shall fear: fear ye Him who, after He hath killed, hath power to cast into hell. I say to you, fear Him' (Luke ii. 4, 5)
"Alas! what an insult do you offer to God by preferring man before him! Are you, then, ashamed of God?
" What is more honorable than to serve God? to do His holy will? Is He not the King of heaven and earth? Is He not the best? the highest, the loveliest, and the most beautiful?
"How, if God should, one day, be ashamed of you? If, on the terrible judgment day He let you perish in your nothingness? If, then, He should deny you, as you deny Him now, if He should refuse to know you? What then?
"Whosoever shall be ashamed of Me, and of My words, of him shall the Son of man be ashamed, when He shall come in His majesty" (Luke ix. 26), says the Lord - and He will keep His word.
"Tell me, at least, before whom are you ashamed?
"Before the good and virtuous? Before those who will, one day, come with the saints of heaven to sit in judgment over the world?
"Is it not rather before sinners, evil-doers, perverts, and fools? Yes, indeed - fools. The Sacred Scripture says: 'Fools hate them that flee from evil things' (Prov. xiii. 19). Yes, indeed - sinners. 'The worship of -God is an abomination to a sinner' (Ecclus. i. 32). And again: 'He that walketh in the right, and feareth God, is despised by him that goeth by an infamous way' (Prov. xiv. 2). . "Are you so sensitive as to the recognition or respect of men? Why, then, do you not labor for the esteem and praise of the just and good?
"Why all these cowardly fears? Is virtue, then, something disgraceful? What has any worth, if not it, and it alone?
"Riches vanish, honors evaporate, pleasures slip away - virtue, valuable in itself, recognized by God, fostered by the noblest and best of men - an object of envy, even to the wicked - virtue remains, reaches even beyond the grave - crowns, and is crowned - reigns in, and for, all eternity! 'They that instruct many to justice shall shine as stars for all eternity' (Dan. xii. 2).
"Can it be possible that you are ashamed of your nature, of your existence, of your destiny? Unheard-of folly! Is the bird ashamed of flying, the fish of swimming? And is not the service of God your nature, your element, your end and aim? 'Fear God, and keep His commandments: for this is all man' (Eccles. xii. 13).
"You are afraid of being thought singular, odd, queer, peculiar?
"But, are you not aware that, as a virtuous man, you will always be singular, odd, queer, peculiar, in a world of sinners?
"Not to be singular in the sense of the wicked, is to renounce all virtue.
"If you do not walk in the broad way of destruction, you are singular; if you walk in the straight path, and seek the narrow gate, you separate yourself from the vast multitude that rush through the wide portals into everlasting ruin.
"Remain singular! The singular ones go into heaven, whilst the children of the world remain outside.
"Say, young man, what will become of you, if you accommodate yourself to the sentiments and conduct of certain youthful companions? If you praise what they praise, blame what they blame, do as they do? Do they not travel in crowds upon the broad road of sin and sensuality?
"No, you have a conscience; you have your principles, drawn from the Gospel; act according to these, and ask for nothing else.
"It is time for you to become a man; to be, In the fullest sense of the word, manly. You talk and dream so much of self-dependence; where is it?"
" Is there question of principles? The loosest are those of the majority; they are favored. Honor, revenge, dueling, suicide, are permissible, or at least excusable, acts. As to morality, if one only avoid the most flagrant crimes, if he but escape talk and publicity - for the rest, human weakness deserves some indulgence; we are not angels.
"Here, a double-meaning word is spoken you remain silent; there, a smutty one - you show no sign of disapproval; again, a vulgar one - you laugh at it. And, in order to avoid all suspicion of narrow-mindedness, one at last joins in, applauds, contributes his share, outdoes - yea, vies with the rudest in nastiness, and thereby purchases for himself among young libertines and low companions the unenviable reputation of being a good fellow - of a young man that knows how to live - who lives and lets live - a liberal, broad-minded young man full of 'go.'
"In the dictionary of worldlings and sinners, intemperance- is excusable weakness; idleness - necessary relaxation; endless, and too often passionate play - pastime; reading of sensual books - culture, knowledge of the world; extravagance - generosity; vanity and affectation - civility; flattery - courtesy; untruth - necessary reticence; ambiguity - prudence; dishonesty - clever calculation.
"'Woe to you that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter' (Is. v. 20), for men's sake!
"The slave of human respect is like a puppet, involuntarily performing all the motions which Satan and the world compel it to.
"Pitiful role! - especially for a young man, who should carry his free, "noble brow high in air, and not suffer it to bear the brand of a miserable bondage to creatures!
"Evil companions may sneer at you because you discharge the duties of your station; because you study, labor, and make good use of your time. Answer, I know what I am about!
"They may entice you to carousals, to dangerous amusements. Say, I will not go with you!
"They may press you to learn the cause of your change of life. Tell them, That concerns me alone."
"They may mock at your altered demeanor. Let then go on; blunt arrows do no harm.
"They may laugh at your conscientiousness Pity their want of conscience.
"Contradict when and where necessary; have courage; defend yourself. Here defiance is necessary and right.
"The worst thing that could happen to you in this case would be the best - that such people would let you alone.
"Oh, happiness, to be rid of such perverse and false friends, and to be able, at last, to breathe freely once more!
"Thou hast broken my bonds: I will sacrifice to Thee, the sacrifice of praise" (Ps. cxv. 16, 17), to serve Thee as I must; to love Thee as I can; to be guided only by holy fear, as I should!
" Whosoever shall be ashamed of Me, and of My words, of him shall the Son of man be ashamed (Luke ix. 26)."
"Thou shalt not follow the multitude to do evil; neither shalt thou yield in judgment, to the opinion of the most part, to stray from the truth" (Ex. xxiii. 2).
"But if you also suffer anything for justice sake, blessed are ye. And be not afraid of their fear, and be not troubled" (1 Peter iii. 14).
"For God hath scattered the bones of them that please men; they have been confounded, because God hath despised them" (Ps. Iii. 6).
"With him that feareth the Lord, it shall go well in the latter end, and in the day of his death he shall be blessed" (Ecclus. i. 13).
St. Aloysius is the perfect model for all young men in regard to purity and manliness. Pope Benedict XIII named him patron of youth.
Father Rickaby, S.J. commenting on this in "Ye are Christ's," says: "Our Lord, we may say, has ratified and carried into effect the nomination of his Vicar. St. Aloysius has taken a strong hold on our boys. This seems to be some part of the reward given him of God even on earth, where he renounced so much. Then again every Catholic boy appreciates that virtue which is the chief ornament of his age, the virtue of which Aloysius is so brilliant an example, and whence he derives his name of Angelic. Many also are held to the saint by ties of gratitude; for his intercession on behalf of the young is singularly powerful with God. There are those who ascribe to some devotion done in his honor the settlement of their vocation. On the other hand, here is an authentic story of a boy delivered through St. Aloysius from the calamity of being pushed forward to the priesthood against his will. In a clerical seminary in Italy, about the year 1850, on St. Aloysius' day, the boys used to write letters to the saint, which lay before his statue all day, and then were burned or given back unread. The bishop of the diocese insisted on taking up one of these letters and reading it, to see, as he said, that the boys did not write nonsense. No representations of the Jesuit rector, from whom this story comes direct, could stop him. The letter he happened to get hold of ran to this effect: "Dear Aloysius, my parents will have me here, because they want me to be a priest: I have no vocation: can you get me out of it?' The thing was settled that day. Furthermore, it is plain to any one who will study his life, that Luigi Gonzaga was a high-spirited, energetic, and courageous boy, with the makings of a soldier or a statesman in him, one quite capable of filling the high position he was born to. The efforts of the Marquis, his father, to retain him, though he had two younger brothers, Rudolf and Francis, are a testimony to his fitness for being the head of a noble house. People useless in the world are seldom much good in the Church. Heroic sanctity requires high courage. One reason why sanctity is so rare is because high courage is rare. A muff will never make a canonizable saint. A boy's instinct soon discovers that there was nothing of the 'muff' in Luigi Gonzaga."
LXXVIII. Politeness
"The attire of the body, and the laughter of the mouth, and the gait of the man, show what he is" (Ecclus. xix 27).
THERE is a certain sort of harsh, repellent virtue, and it may be that some souls are billed to it.
There is also a pleasant sort of virtue to whose influence it must be credited, if the kingdom of good is extended here below.
How beautifully politeness becomes a well-educated young man! How it increases His amiability, and elevates his morally good qualities, making them worthy of imitation!
If virtue is the precious pearl, politeness of manners is the artistic setting which delights the eye and enhances the value of the jewel.
Politeness and virtue are most intimately connected. Both spring from a common root, self-denial; both have a common enemy, selfishness.
The worldling, in order to please the world, does many things that are not easy, nor to his taste. He molds himself into certain forms, abandons views and inclinations that are near and dear to him, puts restraints upon himself, bears insults, overlooks slights, keeps back what he would like to say, and speaks when he would rather remain silent. He is determined to please every one, no matter at what cost; he must maintain his position, he must rise. Hence, for a miserable pittance or reward he becomes the inglorious victim of vanity, selfishness, and human respect.
Not so with the virtuous man. He, too, make3 sacrifices, even a sacrifice of himself, but for the love of God, for a divine reward. Without sacrificing his conscience (which belongs to a higher Lord), he endeavors in all other things to become all to all.
He restricts himself for the sake of others, accommodates himself to their tastes, is indulgent where he can be; he praises what is praiseworthy, and knows how to soften a necessary rebuke by sympathy and friendly interest. Cheerful without excess, he is obliging, affable, polite, without cringing; modest with superiors, benign with his equals, and condescending to inferiors.
O the power of love! O holy violence of self-denial.
Shall not such politeness, arising from such motives, and purchased at the price of such sacrifices, bear on its brows the stamp of genuine virtue?
Is it not as far removed as heaven is from earth, from that artificial whitewash, from that smooth veneering that chills us with its deadly coldness, because it originates from loveless, selfish hearts, and is destitute of all heavenly warmth and unction?
Politeness and urbanity, culture and courtesy, have value only as far as they proceed from, and aim at, charity. If their source is true self-denial, if they rest upon the esteem of the neighbor, as faith teaches us, they are laudable, meritorious, and pleasing to God.
The eulogy or example of a polite companion, or of an educated man of the world, is neither a sufficient nor worthy motive for cultivating that which, only through faith, is raised from mere social to a Christian virtue.
Just because genuine politeness originates from charity, and promotes charity, it should be no stranger to you, young man, no matter what vocation or state of life you may embrace. Learn it for God's sake by self -observation, and the observation of educated and refined persons.
You will avoid many faults against charity if you remove what is contrary to good manners. Yes, good manners will even be to your own gain, because through their influence you will learn to treat yourself with a kind of veneration.
Consider it not below your dignity to pay attention to courtesy even in minor things. Dress, carriage, looks, gestures, gait, speech nothing is to be overlooked.
Even Holy Writ - that most solemn and sacred of all monitors - disdains not to lay down rules of conduct, which are always rules of wisdom, as well as rules of charity. Though these, in general, refer to the whole outward man, they, in particular, regard the most abused of all our instruments of sense, the tongue.
A man is known by his look, and a wise man, when you meet him, is known by his countenance. For " the attire of the body, and the laughter of the teeth, and the gait of the man, show what he is" (Ecclus. xix. 27).
" The heart of fools is in their mouth, and the mouth of wise men is in their heart " (Ecclus. xxi. 29).
"A wise man will hold his peace till he see opportunity, but a babbler and a fool will regard no time " (Ecclus. xx. 7).
" He that answereth before he heareth, showeth himself to be a fool, and worthy of confusion n (Prov. xviii. 13).
" He that uses many words, shall hurt his own soul " (Ecclus. xx. 8).
"It is the folly of a man to hearken at the door, and a wise man will be grieved with the disgrace" (Ecclus. xxi. 27).
" A fool will peep through the window into the house, but he that is well taught will stand without" (Ecclus. xxi. 6).
" If thou sittest amongst many, reach not thy hand out first of all: and be not the first to ask for a drink" (Ecclus. xxxi. 21).
" Be not hasty in a feast. Use as a frugal man the things that are set before thee " (Ecclus. xxxi. 17-19).
" Leave off first, for manners' sake, and exceed not, lest thou offend " (Ecclus. xxxi. 20).
Do you, perhaps, believe that good manners or courtesy were a matter of indifference to the Saviour of the world? "
Behold the picture which the ancient prophets presented of the Messias.
"He shall not cry; neither shall his voice be heard abroad. The bruised reed he shall not break, and the smoking flax he shall not quench: he shall bring forth judgment unto truth. He shall not be sad nor troublesome " (Is. xlii. 2-4).
" If any man will take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also. And whosoever shall force thee to go one mile, go with him other two. Give to him that asketh of thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not away" (Matt. v. 41-42).
" When thou art invited to a wedding, sit not down in the highest place " (Luke xiv. 8); " because every one that exalteth himself shall be humbled " (Luke xiv. 11).
"Have no strife amongst you as to which shall be first; for the great ones of earth do this. He who is the greatest among you, let him be as the least: and he that is leader, as he that serveth." (Luke xxii. 26).
"Be natural as children" (Matt, xviii. 3). " Be wise as serpents, and simple as doves " (Matt. x. 16).
And did not the apostles teach the same?
" Render to all their dues: fear, to whom fear, honor, to whom honor" (Rom. xiii. 7).
"Communicating to the necessities of the saints, pursuing hospitality " (Rom. xii. 13).
"Rejoice with them that rejoice; weep with them that weep " (Rom. xii. 15).
"If it be possible, as much as you can, have peace with all men 99 (Rom. xii. 18).
"Let your modesty be known to all men" (Phil. iv. 5), that all may be edified by your good conduct.
" We are a spectacle to the world, to angels, and to men " (1 Cor. iv. 9).
How easily may courteous manners, ennobled by a modest reserve, dispel the popular prejudice against virtue, and awaken in the rudest and most vicious mind a strong desire to imitate him who is none the less a Christian because he is a polished gentleman!
LXXIX. Cheerfulness
ST. PAUL admonishes us: "Rejoice in the Lord always: again, I say, rejoice! " (Phil. iv. 4). And the prophet Habacuc sings: "I will rejoice in the Lord, and I will joy in God my Jesus. The Lord God is my strength and He will make my feet like the feet of harts; and He, the conqueror, will lead me upon my high places singing psalms" (Hab. iii. 18, 19). There is an apostolate of cheerfulness as well as of prayer and of preaching by word and example. Like a sweet, fragrant flower by the roadside, whose bright loveliness is a joy to every one who passes by, our cheerfulness is a blessing to all with whom we come in contact, A young man, merely by being cheerful, exerts a quiet yet potent influence for good. Let us bear this in mind, that we can be helpful to souls, that we can encourage them and strengthen them in good by our cheerfulness and amiability. The author of "The Art of Being Happy" tells us: "It is well to do our duty, but sometimes this is not enough for the happiness of others and our own. We must do our duty with joy, with eagerness, with love. We must not keep count of what we do, nor stop strictly and sternly at the exact limit of duty. Let us learn to devote ourselves generously, above all when there is question of fulfilling certain obligations of our state, position, etc., by which we do good to our brethren. Let us learn to show always a smiling face, although our work is distasteful to us or overwhelms us. And after having worked hard let us take care not to recall in conversation the pains we have taken, the fatigue that we have imposed upon ourselves. Then our duty accomplished will please every one: God first, then men, and last of all our own poor heart."
Our Lord Himself has said: " Be of good cheer I" And He said this substantially many times. Jesus was indeed a man of Borrows, but He was not a sad man. His face must always have reflected the serenity of His soul. He was meek and humble, gentle and amiable. "He went about doing good to all."
From the Gospel narrative we can glean that Jesus possessed a cheerful temper, serenity mingled with tender seriousness, a most engaging presence, and a winning personality. Children came to Him willingly and loved to linger near Him, and how can any one imagine Him embracing and caressing little children without a smile of loving-kindness? Men followed Him in crowds, fascinated by His charm of manner and of speech. And into woman's heart came the thought: What happiness to be the mother of such a son I
Among the saints - the close followers of Christ - St. Francis de Sales pre-eminently commands our admiration and our love for his Christlike characteristics of cheerful serenity, meekness, humility, patience, charity, kindness, sweetness of temper, and suavity of deportment. Like Our Saviour, the gentle Bishop of Geneva loved to make use if comparisons drawn from nature to illustrate his sermons, which are so replete with good cheer and helpfulness.
As we read in the introduction to "The Mystical Flora of St. Francis de Sales"; "In this he holds a place peculiarly his own. His images do not recall scenes of Cappadocian gloom, like those of St. Basil, nor, like St. Jerome's, the harshness of the desert. But rather, as the clear blue waters of the lakes of his own Savoy soften without distorting the rugged outlines of the overhanging hills, which they reflect bright with sunshine, gay with flowers, and crowned with teeming vines so does his gentle spirit present to our minds the loftiest doctrines in all the grandeur of truth, and yet clothed in images of beauty that charm the fancy while they flash new light upon the understanding. But most of all is this true of him as he comes in from the garden with comparisons gathered from the flowers that bloom therein." The spiritual comparisons of St. Francis drawn from plants and flowers make clear to us "how one may draw good thoughts and holy aspirations from everything that presents itself in all the variety of this mortal life."
Ornsby, in his life of the saint, says: "There appears in the mind of St. Francis de Sales that union of sweetness and strength, of manly power and feminine delicacy, of profound knowledge and practical dexterity, which constitutes a character formed at once to win and subdue minds of almost every type and age. As the rose among flowers, so is he among saints. From the thorny, woody fiber of the brier comes forth that blossom which unites all that can make a flower lovely and attractive; and from the hot and vehement nature of the young Savoyard came a spiritual bloom, whose beauty and fragrance were perfect in an extraordinary degree. All things that command respect and attract love were found in St. Francis."
And this explains his power as a spiritual guide, his mighty influence over sinners, his success as a peacemaker, and his helpfulness to all with whom he came in contact.
As followers of Christ, and in imitation of the saints, let us cultivate the habit of cheerfulness and pray for the spirit of gladness, which is rooted in charity, in the peace of a good conscience, in gratitude to God for His blessings, in Christian hope and confidence, in perfect submission to the divine will; and let us do this not only for our own good, but also for the happiness and betterment of others.
Every life is meant
To help all lives; each man should live
For all men's betterment.
"Servus servorum Dei" "Servant of the servants of God," is one of the titles of the Pope. The Prince of Wales has borne for his motto "I serve" since the fourteenth century. In a way we are all one another's servants. St. Thomas Aquinas says: "That wherein one man excels another man is given him of God that therewith he may serve other men." Our blessed Saviour tells us of Himself: "The Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister " (Matt. xx. 28). At the Last Supper He washed His apostles' feet, saying to them: "I have given you an example." His example and His teaching are that the highest must not disdain the lowest, and that all are to serve all. Now we can all serve or help others by our cheerfulness and amiability. A cheerful person creates a wholesome moral atmosphere around him, and exerts an invigorating influence upon his environments
There is great merit also in cheerfulness, when it is cultivated from a supernatural motive, when it is the fruit of divine, and fraternal charity. It requires sell-control: and self-denial to maintain cheerfulness under all circumstances - in sickness, in pain, in sorrow, in poverty, in misunderstanding, and in, unpleasant surroundings. Christian cheerfulness implies something more than natural temperament; it means self-denial self-control. Natural disposition should not be offered as an excuse for being morose and rude. By the grace of God and with an earnest effort we can overcome our evil nature. You find yourself refreshed by the presence of cheerful persons; why not make earnest efforts to be helpful to others by your own cheerfulness and amiability? Strew the road with flowers for others, and in turn your own pathway will be scattered with roses.
Montaigne says: "The most manifest sign of wisdom is contented cheerfulness, and it is undoubtedly true that a cheerful man has a creative power which a pessimist never possesses."
@A merry heart goes all the day; A sad tires in a mile.
Lew Wallace tells us; "A man's task is always light if his heart is light," and there is wisdom in the Spanish proverb: "Who sings in grief procures relief."
The presence of a good and cheerful man acts like an invigorating tonic upon all around him. Nothing disturbs his equanimity, which springs from the peace of God in his heart. The author of "The Imitation " says: "The joy of the just is from God and in God, and their rejoicing is in the truth. If there be joy in the world, truly the man of pure heart possesses it. Rejoice when thou hast done well."
Father Dignam, S.J., says in his "Retreats": "All discouragement comes from pride. Failure has nothing to do with pleasing God. A soul who fails and makes an act of contrition twenty times in the day will probably have given God more glory, and done more for Him, than one who has gone quietly on all day without failure; God created some people (it may be said) to serve Him by failure; for they give Him glory by their acts of contrition and humiliation, while if they had succeeded, their pride would have made them displeasing to Hun."
The thought of heaven and of that blessed time when we shall see God in the fulness of His beauty ought to keep our hearts over" flowing with peace and joy. We can be always bright and cheerful if we keep our eyes directed toward the eternal shores, to the blessed land of the saints, where the sky is ever cloudless, where the sun of happiness never sets, where a perfect torrent of delight inundates the soul, where, as the beloved disciple tells us, " God shall wipe away all tears, and death shall be no more, nor mourning, nor crying, nor sorrow shall be any more; for the former things are passed away."
Apropos of this subject, Father Henry Calmer, S.J., of blessed memory, who for many years filled the pulpit of St. Xavier's, Cincinnati, and held vast audiences spellbound by his eloquence, wrote the following lines while visiting a Trappist monastery:
Eternity
The silent monks prayed in their oaken stalls;
In the tangled grass by the abbey walls
Bloomed the roses red with their drooping leaves,
and roses pink as the dreams youth weaves,
And roses white as when love deceives;
How they bloomed and swayed in the garden
there,
While the bell tolled out in the warm still air:
"Eternity!"
"Eternity!" the great bell rang.
"Leave life and love and youth," it sang;
And the red rose scattered its petals wide,
And the pink rose dreamed in the sun, and
sighed,
And the white rose pined on its stem and died.
O Life, Love, Youth I Ye are sweet, ye are
strong,
But barren lives shall bloom in a long
Eternity!
Where peace and interior joy abound there also cheerfulness of mien and manner ought to be found. Happiness presupposes peace a threefold peace: Peace with God, peace with ourselves, and peace with our neighbor That man is happy who lives in peace.
In the holy night when our Saviour was born, the angels sang: "On earth, peace." On the eve of His Passion, Our Lord said to His disciples in His touching farewell address: "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you" And after the Resurrection, He greeted His followers repeatedly with the words: "Peace be to you." Peace must be a great blessing, a priceless treasure; it is indeed happiness.
The Church prays for peace daily in the Canon of the Mass. "Dona nobis pacem!" is the third petition of the "Agnus Dei," "Give us peace!" And in the beautiful prayers before communion the Church again asks for peace. ' ' Pax huic domui!" " Peace be to this house! " the priest says on entering a sick-room to administer the last sacraments. "Pax," is the simple device of the illustrious Order of St. Benedict, in connection with the watchword: "Ut in omnibus glorificetur Deus!" "That in all things God may be glorified!" This is substantially the same as the chant of the angels: "Gloria in ex celsis Deo et in terra pax hominibus!" "Glory to God in the highest and peace on earth to men of good will! " To seek God's glory means peace and happiness to man. His glory and our happiness are inseparably united. This is man's destiny, as the little catechism teaches: "To know God, to love Him, to serve Him and to be happy with Him forever." This is true philosophy: Man tends naturally to happiness as to his last end, "a state of freedom from all evil and enjoyment of every good that can be desired, joined with the certainty of its everlasting duration."
In this world real happiness consists in the peace and joy of a good conscience and in the hope of an eternal reward which springs from a well -spent life. "In the next world," as Archbishop Meurin says in his "Ethics," "happiness consists in the fullest knowledge of the infinite truth, which is God Himself, in the most ardent love of the supreme goodness and beauty, which again is nothing else but God, and in the perpetual possession of supreme bliss, which consists in everlasting friendship and union with God." The will of God, then, is this, that in the resent life, in whatever circumstances divine providence may place us, we live virtuously, avoiding evil, and doing good.
Peace with God implies the state of grace, a good conscience, submission to and fulfilment of the divine will. Peace with sell implies the mastery over one's passions, the consciousness of duty well done, the approval of one's conscience. Peace with one's neighbor implies the commandment of love, the observance of the golden rule: "As you would that men should do to you, do you also to them in like manner" (Luke vi. 31). This threefold peace is the basis of happiness. A cheerful Christian gentleman is a rebuke to the world, whose votaries make it a matter of reproach against religion that k sends men to learn the solemn lessons of tho grave and casts a blight upon life, that meditation on the eternal truths tends to stifle endeavor, to paralyze our energies, and to sadden our days. Religion really tends to gladden our hearts and to make our days calm and tranquil.
"Rejoice in the Lord always!" We ought always to be cheerful, and our joy should find expression in deeds of kindness and helpfulness to all with whom we come in contact. We ought to heed the words of Our Lord to His followers: "Be of good cheer!" Life to-day is so strenuous that there is constant need of relief from its«strain, and a sunny, cheerful, gracious soul is like a sea breeze in sultry August or like a "draught of cool refreshment drained by fevered lips."
The author of "The Floral Apostles," referring to the crocus and the primrose as the emblems of cheerfulness, says: "Cheerfulness furnishes the best soil for the growth of goodness and virtue. It is also the best of moral and mental tonics. 'A glad heart maketh a cheerful countenance, but by grief of mind the spirit is cast down' (Prov. xv. 13). 'A joyful mind maketh age flourishing; a sorrowful spirit drieth up the bones' (Prov. xvii. 22)."
We can all acquire greater cheerfulness by assuming the right mental attitude toward our environment and circumstances, by looking habitually at the bright side of things, by training ourselves persistently to see the good and pleasant things in our common, daily life.
Some persons seem to have eyes only for the disagreeable things that happen to come into their life; they forget or overlook their blessings, and brood over their trials and misfortunes.
The soothing line in "The Rainy Day"; "Behind the clouds is the sun still shining," does not comfort them. Stevenson says:
"Two men looked out through their prison bars; The one saw mud and the other stars."
Let us learn to look at life not to mid misery and discomfort in it, but to find goodness, gladness, and beauty. The author of "The Art of Being Happy" relates the following anecdote: "A poet was gazing one day at a beautiful rose-tree. 'What a pity,' said he, 'that these roses have thorns!' A man who was passing by remarked: 'Let us rather thank our good God for having allowed these thorns to have roses.' Ah! how we also ought to thank God for the many joys and blessings that He grants us in spite of our sins, instead of complaining about the slight troubles that He sends us."
"A doctor who has made a specialty of nervous diseases," so we read, "has found a new remedy for the blues. His prescription amounts to this: 'Keep the corners of your mouth turned up; then you can't feel blue.' The simple direction is: 'Smile; keep on smiling; don't stop smiling.' It sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? Well, just try turning up the corners of your mouth, regardless of your mood, and see how it makes you feel; then draw the corners of your mouth down, and note the effect, and you will be willing to declare 'there's something in it!""' A good suggestion in regard to any past trouble or humiliation is this: "Let it go!" "Forget it!" An optimist writes: "If you had an unfortunate experience this last year, forget it. If you have made a failure in your speech, your song, your book, or your article, if you have been placed in an embarrassing position, if you have been deceived and hurt by one whom you looked upon as a friend, if you have been slandered and abused, do not dwell upon it, do not brood over it; forget it! There is not a single redeeming feature in these memories. Do not make yourself unhappy by keeping on the walls of your heart the pictures of vanished joys and faded hopes. Forget them. Count your blessings. Be of good cheer."
As regards those faults of our neighbors that irritate us, it will help us to be more cheerful and amiable if we remember our own shortcomings, which they have to endure. St. Paul admonishes us: "Bear ye one another's burdens and so you shall fulfil the law of Christ' ' (Gal. vi. 2). Do not look for mistakes or faults to censure in others; let us rather look for an excuse for our brethren; let us admire their virtues and imitate them.
The author of "The Art of Being Happy" says: "There is a word which can not be said too often to every Christian whom God has destined to live, converse, and labor in the society of his fellow-creatures: Be indulgent. Yes, be indulgent; it is necessary for others, and it is necessary for your own sake. For get the little troubles that others may cause you; keep up no resentment for the inconsiderate or unfavorable words that may have been said about you; excuse the mistakes and awkward blunders of which you are the victim; always make out good intentions for those who have done you any wrong by imprudent acts or speeches; in a word, smile at everything, show a pleasant face on all occasions; maintain an inexhaustible fund of goodness, patience, and gentleness. Thus you will be at peace with all your brethren; your love for them will suffer no alteration, and their love for you will increase day by day. But, above all, you will practise in an excellent manner Christian charity, which is impossible without this toleration and indulgence at every instant."
In conclusion, then, let us resolve to be cheerful and amiable at all times and under all circumstances. By keeping this resolution we shall glorify God, gain much merit ourselves, and be a blessing to others.
LXXX. Kindness
1.Let us be kind if we would promote the interests of the Sacred Heart, of which kindness was the special characteristic. Let it not be in isolated acts - 'few and far between'; no, it must be like slayer - an habitual disposition of heart, which is ready to manifest itself without any effort, at all seasons and in all circumstances, and thus it will be with hearts which are united to that Heart of love. Kindness will flow from them, as it were, naturally, just as the flowers give forth their perfume, the birds their song, and as the sun shines down alike on good and bad as it goes on its daily circuit - because all this is of their very nature. In the most trivial things of daily life the spirit of kindness should render itself evident. . . .
"Kindness is as the bloom upon the fruits - it renders charity and religion attractive and beautiful. Without it, even charitable works lose their power of winning souls; for, without kindness, the idea of love, the idea of anything supernatural - in a word, of Jesus, is not conveyed to the mind by the works performed, even though they be done from a right motive. There is such a thing as doing certain exterior actions, which are intended to be charitable, ungraciously. Now, actions thus performed do not manifest the kindness of the Heart of Jesus, nor will they be efficacious in extending the empire of His love, or in winning souls to His kingdom. The fruit may be sound, but the bloom is not on it; hence it is uninviting. . . .
"How many a noble work has been nipped in the bud by the blast of an unkind judgment; how many a generous heart has been crushed in its brightest hopes by a jealous criticism; how many a holy aspiration, destined to bear abundant fruit for God and souls, has been forced back into the poor heart from whence it had ascended, there to be stifled utterly and forever, leaving that heart, as the poet so graphically represents it, 'like a deserted bird's nest filled with snow,' because unkindness had robbed it of that for which, perhaps, alone it cared to live. How much, then, we may believe has been lost to the world of all that is good and great and beautiful through the instrumentality of unkindness; and if it be thus, what developments, on the other hand, may we not expect, in the order of grace as well as of nature, in the hearts and minds of men beneath the genial sun of kindness.
"Even in the common things of life, and in the natural order, how striking are the results of the passage of this Heaven-sent missioner, this angel of light and consolation.
"If we reflect upon it, kindness is but the outcome and exemplar of 'he divine precept: Thou shall love thy, neighbor as thyself. There is nothing we personally so much appreciate as kindness. We like others to think of us kindly, to speak to us kindly, and to render us kindly actions and in a kindly manner. Now, we should know how to put ourselves in the place of others, and thus we should testify to them that kindliness that we value so much ourselves.
"When our divine Lord came down upon earth, He came not only to save us by shedding His blood for us, but to teach us by His example how to co-operate with Him in ex tending the Kingdom of His Father. And one of the most powerful means which He employed for this purpose was kindness, gentleness, and forbearance. 'The goodness and kindness of God our Saviour appeared (Titus iii. 4), by which words we learn that kindness is not altogether synonymous with goodness, but, as it were, a luster, a bloom, an attraction superadded to it.
"We might regard this sweet reflection from the Heart of Jesus from many points of view, but it is especially under one aspect that we have been considering it; namely, as a powerful weapon in our hands for the efficacious exercise of our apostolate. Kindly thoughts of others will be productive of prayer in their regard, at once fervent and affectionate - prayer such as the loving Heart of Jesus willingly listens to; kindly words and deeds will draw souls to the love of Him whose spirit they behold so attractively reproduced in His members. As the wood-violets give forth their perfume from beneath the brushwood that conceals them from view, telling us of their unseen nearness, so kindness reveals to us the nearness of Jesus, the sweetness of whose Spirit is thus breathed worth.
"Such is the kindness which is that great missioner sent by the Heart of Jesus to exercise an apostolate of love upon earth, and so to promote the glory of God and the salvation of souls." - The Voice of the Sacred Heart.
Thoughts from Father Faber on Kindness
THE worst kinds of unhappiness, as well as the greatest amount of it, come from our conduct to each other. If our conduct, therefore, were under the control of kindness, it would be nearly the opposite of what it is, and so the state of the world would be almost reversed.
***
KINDNESS is the overflowing of self upon others. We put others in the place of self. We treat them as we would wish to be treated ourselves. We change places with them.
***
Kindness adds sweetness to everything.
***
OF GREAT consequence is the immense power of kindness in bringing out the good points of the characters of others.
***
A KIND act has picked up many a fallen man who has afterward slain his tens of thousands for his Lord, and has entered the Heavenly City at last as a conqueror amidst the acclamations of the saints, and with the welcome of its Sovereign.
***
KINDNESS has converted more sinners than either zeal, eloquence, or learning; and these three last have never converted any one unless they were kind also. In short, kindness makes us as Gods to each other. Yet while it lifts us so high, it sweetly keeps us low. For the continual sense which a kind heart has of its own need of kindness keeps it humble.
***
KINDNESS is infectious. One kind action leads to another. Our example is followed. This is the greatest work which kindness does to others - that it makes them kind themselves.
***
A PROUD man is seldom a kind man. Humility makes us kind, and kindness makes us humble.
***
A KIND man is a man who is never self-occupied. He is genial, he is sympathetic, he is brave.
***
IF a man habitually has kind thoughts of others, and that on supernatural motives, he is not far from being a saint.
***
THERE is one class of kind thoughts which must be dwelt upon apart. I allude to kind interpretations. The habit of not judging others is one which it is very difficult to acquire, and which is generally not acquired till late on in the spiritual life.
***
NOW, the standard of the Last Judgment is absolute. It is this - the measure which we have meted to others. Our present humor in judging others reveals to us what our sentence would be if we died now. Are we content to abide that issue? We ought to cultivate most sedulously the habit of kind interpretations.
Men's actions are very difficult to judge. Their real character depends in a great measure on the motives which prompt them, and those motives are invisible to us. Appearances are often against what we afterward discover to have been deeds of virtue.
***
WHAT mistakes have we not made in judging others! Have we not always found in our past experience that on the whole our kind interpretations were truer than our harsh ones?
How many times in life have we been wrong when we put a kind construction on the conduct of others? We shall not need our fingers to count those mistaken upon.
***
Kind words are the music of the world.
***
WE MUST say something about kind suffering. Kind suffering is, in fact, a form of kind action. With the Christian, kind suffering must be almost wholly supernatural. There is a harmonious fusion of suffering and gentleness effected by grace, which is one of the most attractive features of holiness. What is more beautiful than considerateness for others when we ourselves are unhappy?
***
TO BE subject to low spirits is?. sad liability. Yet, to a vigorous, manly heart, it may be a very complete sanctification. What can be more unkind than to communicate our low spirits to others, to go about the world like demons, poisoning the fountains of joy? Have I more light because I have managed to involve those I love in the same gloom as myself? Is it not pleasant to see the sun shining on the mountains, even though we have none of it down in our valley? Oh, the littleness and the meanness of that sickly appetite for sympathy which will not let us keep our tiny Lilliputian sorrows to ourselves I Why must we go sneaking about, like some dishonorable insect, and feed our darkness on other people's light? We hardly know in all this whether to be more disgusted with the meanness, or more indignant at the selfishness, or more sorrowful at the sin. The thoughts of the dying mother are all concentrated on her new-born child. It is a beautiful emblem of unselfish holiness. So also let us hide our pains and sorrows. But while we hide them, let them also be spurs within us to urge us on to all manner of overflowing kindness and sunny humor to those around us. When the very darkness within us creates a sunshine around us, then has the spirit of Jesus taken possession of our souls.
***
RIGHTLY considered, kindness is the grand cause of God in the world. Where it is natural, it must forthwith be supernaturalized. Where it is not natural, it must be supernaturally planted. What is our life? It is a mission to go into every corner it can reach, and reconquer for Goo's beatitude His unhappy world back to Him. It is a devotion of ourselves to the bliss of the Divine Life by the beautiful apostolate of kindness.
***
LET us conclude. We have been speaking of kindness. Perhaps we might better have called it the spirit of Jesus. What an amulet we should find it in our passage through life if we would say to ourselves two or three times a day these soft words of Scripture: "My spirit is sweet above honey, and my inheritance above honey and the honeycomb" (Ecclus. xxiv. 27).
LXXXI. The Correct Thing
FOR MEMBERS OF CHURCH ASSOCIATIONS
IT IS the Correct Thing: For member of church associations to comply with the rules and regulations.
To be present if possible when meetings are called.
To have a certain amount of humility in regard to one's own ability.
To always withdraw at once from any organization which is not working in harmony with the pastor of the parish.
To refuse to accept an office if one is not willing and able to discharge its duties.
To remember that everybody can not be first.
To approach holy communion on the regular communion days in a body.
It is Not the Correct Thing: To belong to any society or organization which is not approved by the pastor.
To refuse a contribution (to the Church or for a Church festival) in a discourteous manner.
To preface one's donation by the remarks that Father Blank is always begging; that Father Blank-Blank, the former pastor, thought of something besides money; that one would be glad to get into a parish where there were no debts, and where priests preached on the gospel instead of money money all the time.
To head a subscription list with a large contribution to some charity enterprise when one's pew rent and church dues are unpaid.
THE CORRECT THING IN BUSINESS
It is the Correct Thing: To act as a gentleman in a business transaction, no matter how far his associate may forget himself.
To be scrupulously honest because it is right to be so, and not because "honesty is the best policy."
To remember that all rich men are not knaves nor all poor ones angels.
To make the best of one's opportunities.
To remember that a life need not necessarily be a failure because it is not crowned with wealth.
To be punctual to the second in keeping a business appointment.
To remember that a five minutes' delay has sometimes turned the tide of a young man's destiny.
To devote one's business hours strictly to business and one's time of recreation to something else.
To pay a good man what his services are worth, and not merely the minimum at which they can be obtained.
To avoid all misrepresentation in a business transaction.
To receive every one courteously, whether rich or poor.
To give a reproof, where necessary, in private.
To remember that a frowning demeanor does not always imply a dignified one by any means.
To hold one's word as sacred as one's bond.
To avoid all transactions that are classed in lump as shady.
To remember that adulation to power and mind as well as in origin.
To be manly at all times.
To remember that ill-gotten gains will turn the downiest couch into a bed of thorns at the hour of death.
To remember that everybody admires a manly man.
THE CORRECT THING FOR A CITIZEN
It is the Correct Thing: For a citizen to remember that he owes a duty to the community in which he lives.
To know the difference between statesmanship and political wire-pulling.
To remember that a trickster holding office s a standing reproach to the community which permitted his election.
To let love of country be second only to Jove of God.
To know that the very least a loyal son of his country can do is to cast his vote for good men.
To contribute cheerfully to all public enterprises.
To remember that a bad Christian never made a good citizen.
To answer in the negative Scott's immortal question:
Breathes there a man with soul so dead
Who never to himself has said
This is my own, my native land?
It is Not the Correct Thing: For a man to think that he can rightfully live only for himself.
To claim the benefits of citizenship, and to shirk its burdens.
To think that rights have not their corresponding obligations.
To imagine that it is unworthy of a gentleman to take an interest in politics.
To think that a man entitled to the ballot, who holds aloof from the polls and then talks about political corruption, is not partly to blame for such a state of affairs.
THE CORRECT THING IN CHURCH
It is the Correct Thing: To always be in time for Mass and other services in the church.
To remember that the church bells are rung for a purpose and not merely to keep the sexton busy, and that it would be well therefore to obey their call.
For every member of a parish to rent a pew or at least a seat in the parish church.
To take holy water upon entering the church.
To make the sign of the cross on the person and not in the air.
To genuflect on the right knee and to have it touch the floor.
To remember that the King of kings is present on the altar, and to order one's conduct accordingly.
To avoid whispering, laughing, and looking about in church.
To walk gently up the aisle if one is unavoidably detained until after the services have begun.
To make a short act of adoration on bended knees after entering the pew. To be devout and recollected at the different parts of the Mass.
To remember that mere bodily presence in the church with the mind wandering to temporal concerns, does not fulfil the precept of hearing Mass.
To pay attention to the sermon, and make it the subject of one's thoughts during the day, as also during the week.
To remember when special collections are to be taken up, and to have a contribution ready in your hand.
To make a practice of putting something in the contribution-box every Sunday. To train children to this practice.
To listen to the music as a means of elevating the heart to God.
For a gentleman occupying a pew to move in or rise and let ladies pass in before him.
For pew -holders to offer seats in their pews to strangers.
To be punctilious in following the ceremonials of the Church - standing, kneeling, etc., at the proper times.
For Catholics to keep away from Protestant services.
To take an earnest Protestant to hear a good sermon.
To remain kneeling until the last prayers have been said and the priest has retired to the sacristy.
It is Not the Correct Thing: To be late for Mass or any church service.
To stalk hurriedly and noisily up the aisle..
To ignore the holy water font at the entrance.
To make the sign of the cross as if fanning off flies.
To give a little bobbing curtsy, instead of the proper genuflection, before entering one's pew.
To whisper, laugh, or cause any distraction to those around.
To deliberately turn around, stare up at the choir, or at those entering the church.
To go to sleep, or read during the sermon.
To be in an ecstatic condition of devotion when the contribution-box approaches.
To forget all about the special collections for the orphans, the church debt, the Pope, etc.
For a person occupying the end seat to scowl forbiddingly at all those who seek to enter the pew.
To kneel on only one knee, or to emulate the position of the bear when saying one's prayers.
For members of the congregation to find fault with the sermon, criticise the clergyman, and retail gossip on their way home from church, as is done in China and other places in the Orient.
It is the Correct Thing: To be willing and ready at all times and under all circumstances to give the reason for one's religious beliefs when asked to do so by a sincere seeker after truth.
To avoid argument merely for the sake of argument.
To say nothing needlessly to wound the feelings and religious opinions of those out of the Church.
To refute calumnies against the Church when they come under one's notice.
To be firm always in one's adherence to the teachings of the Church, even at the risk of giving offense to others outside her pale.
To remember that "a liberal Catholic," in the sense in which the term is usually understood, is often no Catholic at all.
To remember that example is more powerful than precept.
To understand that whilst it would be wrong for a Catholic to go to a Protestant church, it is not wrong for a Protestant to go to a Catholic church, simply because it is one of the fundamental doctrines of all Protestant denominations that religion and religious opinions are very much a matter of private interpretation of the Bible; that two persons may belong to one church and yet not both believe exactly the same thing, and that all churches are alike pleasing to God in proportion to the sincerity of their members. In brief, that the Catholic Church forbids her children to participate in religious services outside of her pale, and the Protestant churches leave their members to do as they please in the matter.
It is Not the Correct Thing: To be careless about what one says, and the use of expressions calculated to give offense.
To weakly agree to slanders on the reputation and integrity of the Church or her ministers.
To manifest surprise and impatience at the failure of any one to grasp a truth that seems so plain to oneself.
To imagine that because one can not see a truth it is therefore not so.
For a Catholic to say that one Church is as good as another; for every intelligent Protestant knows that a consistent Catholic can not think so, and that a Catholic who says he does is telling a deliberate falsehood.
To act in any way that would bring reproach on the Church or give scandal to those either in or out of the fold.