Translation:Tolkappiyam/Wedded love

by Tolkappiyar

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Source in Tamil

Note

The serial number at the end denotes the verse in the part of the literature

Translation

Example to the verse, cited by Elamburanar, an interpreter to the literature ‘Tolkappiyam’ who belongs to 11th century A.D. and others is given indented star-mark.

This chapter deals with the subject matters of the personal love after marriage.

Basic notes to follow

1. Personal love of human life has been divided into two parts; before marriage and after marriage.
2. This chapter deals with the latter as previous one was discussed earlier.

General points

1. The word [har’ppu] denotes wedding that being a ceremony the legal persons eligible to give their girl (would-be-wife) and the legal persons eligible to receive for the man (would-be-husband). (1)
2. The marriage ceremony will take place without the giving ceremony in the event of elopement. (2)
3. The enjoining ceremony belongs to three upper classes is also applicable lower class at times. (3)
4. It is said that wedding ceremony was done by the leaders of the society when lie and misconduct appear between lovers. (4)

Contexts of uttering of [kizavan] the husband, the hero

1. In personal life after wedding, the husband expresses his word in thirty three occasions; after ceremonial marriage, being freed from fear, on the occasion of heart-rending lust-meeting, - enjoying unbounded bliss in union, - emerging fear over the right of their life, - being good in traditional way, - when she points his slip, - when the she-friend of her worships God to avoid dread in future, - to explain to revok her pain and dread, - excelling her cooking and other things she touch, - to explain her of conduct and character of [an”than’ar] the benevolent man and [saantr’oo’r] the virtuous man, - and that of other reputable persons, - discussing about happenings during clandestine love career, - forgetting mistakes done in the past as the letter writing in the air-paper, - consoling her not to fear and not to grieve, - to explain what he has done wrong to her, - to praise her tolerance and magnanimity, - to seek helping from personal mediators, - on the occasion of celestial oil-bath with [aiyar]’s ceremony that offers something to celestial [amarar] ancestors, after her delivery, - entreating his wife on bed while she is without mood by fondling her feet, - resolving her sulking by mediatory women, - to end the affliction of the two women (wife and concubine) at his parting, - agony over parting them, - distress on pondering the route in which he is tread, - passion over rejoining with his wife while on away from her, - pondering to break his journey and return home, - feeling over the emotion of appetite of sex, - on the ignorance of girl-friend of his wife, - feeling pain sitting in foreign-land, - returning back, - enjoying the returning journey, - addressing the charioteer on homeward journey, - responding to the tales of distress of his wife and concubine, - sharing his tales in parting period, - providing hospitality to the visiting guests come to share his experience on journey, - being garlanded by kith and kin, - sharing experience with other friends in personal life, etc. (5)

Contexts of uttering of [kizavoo’l’] thewife, the heroine

1. Wife, the heroine utter in the following contexts: - to stop his approach or accept his (husband’s) union, knowing his mind, - offering him full freedom to enjoy her, as he who gives her full rights, - when her passion exceeds his passion, - in the occasion of ecstasy and joy, - to stop him away with pain immediately after the ceremonial oil-bath after she has delivered her son, - to stop him away when he approach her union after having enjoyment with concubine, - when he tries to impress by worshipping her union she mocks on him saying “this kind of worshipping is appropriate before my sisters (concubine)”, - leading him to enjoy with other ladies, - while the concubine playing with her son, - to blame his son as he is as his father, when he return home with make-up done by his father’s concubine, - sulking with her husband, knowing the words will hurt his heart, - while he fall on her feet requesting to forgive his deeds of contacts with other ladies, ridiculing him saying that, such kind of bending will humiliate him before other lovers, - when the concubine wants to her (heroine’s) son to be with her (concubine), - when he (husband) stays with her (wife) without approaching concubine, as the concubine swear that she would win her getting her husband getting to be with her (concubine), - when the concubine excels her complexion of attraction, - when her girl-friend behaves against her or pursuing her girl-friend to do needful to get her (heroine’s) husband to be inclined with her, or when her girl-friend being a cause of parting her husband towards concubine or against concubine, - etc. (6)
2. Wife, speaking during her weeded life about her past history during the course of elopement, will be the matter of dreading his (husband’s) usual procedure. (7)

Utterances of [thoo’zi] the wife’s confidante

1. In wedded course of love, the role of mediators like her confidante is unavoidable. (8)
2. Wife’s (herine’s) confidante utters in the following situations during the course of wedded life according to learners: - honoring him (hero) on his achievement of reputable deed, - when he says that suffering is end, - when he thanks the God that gourd her during the period separation, - when he deviate his attention from her, - when comforting her (heroine) during his oversight behavior, - when he returns home after the ill-legal lust union, - when he showers inclined words towards her, - when he plays with other ladies in public events, - when he leaves his wife along with his son-baby, - begging him to alms of his wife’s safe, - when he realizes his past unwilling behavior, - when he is keeping his vow-words, - when he is not honoring by abeyance of honorable-men, - to pacify her (wife’s) sulking on his unwanted behavior, - during her uncontrolled sulking pacifying him with anger, - advising him to avail the time of chance and accessibility, - to request him to be benevolent towards musicians, actors and dancers, - to impress him to return home while he is not with her, - while he is to leave her to earn wealth, reminding him of his customary virtue, etc. (9)

Utterance of [kaamakkizaththi] , the hero’s concubine

1. The concubine expresses her feelings in some occasions. They are: - fade sulking to enhance union lust, - to ridicule his (hero) wife’s deal, - adorning his son, -on distress when his wife defending him at home, - to send him back to home at the extreme feeling of his wife, - knowing aftermath when she (concubine) sent home his son with some makeup, - comparing herself with his wife, - while playing with him in public parks, etc. (10)

Utterance of [vaayil] the mediators in personal life

1. Chastity, lust, contacts of ladies preservation, tolerance, happiness with what she had, hosting, helping the relatives, etc. are qualities of a wife of a husband. The mediators lead her protecting by words. (11)

Utterance of other mediators of personal life

1. The foster-mother [se’vili] utter some words to guide her daughter (wife in family life) pointing the contacts of past, present and future. (12)
2. The sage [ar’ivar] also does counseling with her, as above. (13)
3. The sage is entitled to use reproof word in counseling as the husband and wife are bounded to obey according his words. (14)

Intervening and interesting expressions in wedded life

1. Feigned dislike [pulaththal] and pretence of resentment [uudal] will appear in the part of hero in the occasions, when the heroine’s sulking defy persuasion and when she fails to attend rendezvous (15)
2. In these occasions the maid-friend will pacify. (16)
3. Wife uses the words ‘you are kindles’, ‘you are hardship’ towards her husband in order to prevent his relation with concubine or in her ignorance. (17)
4. Wife says ‘who are you’ in order to read her husband’s mind or when she is in a mood of sulking. (18)
5. Husband solicitudes his wife by conferring his falsehood. (19)
6. Bestowing words of kindness is nature in wife’s behavior. (20)

Gossip

1. Gossip will arise in both clandestine and wedded life. (21)
2. Love-gossip makes the bliss enhance. (22)
3. Husband’s play with other woman will be spoken as gossip. (23)
4. Husband’s ill-behavior of such kind will never come from the mouth of personal mediators but by the common people. (24)
5. Personal mediators confess before wife their inability to avoid her husband’s ill-deed to pacify her. (25)
6. They point her husband as third person. (26)

Love mediators

1. Bards [kuuththar], one among the personal mediators, teaches and insists the wife to-be and to-mend by means of past happenings. (27)
2. Bards and musicians [pan’ar] convey message to the husband about his wife’s position, being with him in other country. (28)
3. The guarding warriors of the hero [il’aiyoo’r] speak to the hero about their routes, the duties west upon them, questioning him, answering to his questions, what they happened to see in the route, what are the hindrances the things taught to them, etc. (29)
4. Obeying his commands, safe-guarding the hero and diverting him to beneficial duties are also the guarding warrior’s duties. (30)

Second wife

1. Husband, the hero gnaws distress when his wife happened to meet his second wife and when his second wife caresses his son before his wife. (31)
2. The second wife has rights to do so. (32)
3. It is his wife’s honor to dignify the second wife’s passion of love on her son. (33)
4. War camp is void of woman. (34)
5. Lust union with a woman may fall on in a different place. (35)

Brahmin [paarppaar]

1. Brahmin councils the hero in some occasions saying that passion of love is important (while he is leaving his wife to earn money) and to mend him righteousness (while he is living with other woman). He also explains to the heroine the importance of her husband leaving her to earn wealth. He professes them the omen of ‘cow-sign’ when the hero leaving his wife to earn money. He guides him to earn money and defer him in his action. (36)

All the mediators of love affairs

1. All the mediators mend the hero and heroine to enhance the pleasure of their love. (37)
2. When the hero appears in loveless passion, they instruct the hero in a separate place (not before the heroine). (38)

Some kinds of culture

1. The heroine never excels herself before the hero, except in two occasions mentioned earlier. (39)
2. The hero excels himself before the heroine, when he wants to do his duty. (40)
3. Born-friend of hero [paangan] is a man of having eligibility to defy the hero’s words. (41)
4. Such kinds of defying occur rarely. (42)
5. When the heroine disconsolate at the hero’s parting, the hero will leave her only after comforting her of some assurance. (43)
6. Desisting or forsaking from setting out journey is not an action to comforting her. (44)
7. No information about the heroine will be conveyed to the hero while he is in his Endeavour. (45)
8. The husband does not pursuit his harlots, during the twelve days after his wife’s menstruation. (46)
9. Separation on quest learning does not exceed beyond three years. (47)
10. Charge at king’s calling ends within a year. (48)
11. Other separations also fall within a year limit. (49)
12. Seeking the pleasure of life the hero will play in flowing water of river and deep water of ponds in remote places of his native village. (50)

Renunciation

1. The husband and wife, in their old age of lust-less mood, live together enjoying with and counseling to their fostering off-springs and kiths leading virtuous life. This is the goal-aim of life. (51)

Love-life mediators

1. Maid-friend of the heroine [thoo’zi], foster-mother of the heroine [thaai], the Brahmin [paarppaan], male-friend of the hero [paankan], bard [paan’an], female-singer [paatti], gourd-warriors of the hero [il’aiyar], guests [virun”thinar], dramatists [kuuththar], female-dancers [vir’aliyar], sages [ar’ivar] and witnesses [kan’doo’r] are the mediators in love-life. (52)
2. No sojourn does the hero during his home-ward journey after finishing his aim of mission, as he has a horse that swift fast him as his heart fly. (53)