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CHAPTER VI.
The first Purification, which is from mortal sin.
The first purification which ought to be made is from sin; the means to make it is the sacrament of penance. Seek the most worthy confessor you can: read one of the little books which have been composed in order to help us to make an entire and good confession; read it carefully, and observe from point to point in what you have offended, beginning from the time you had the use of reason, and on to the present hour. If you distrust your memory, write down what you have thought of; and, having so prepared and gathered together the offensive humours of your conscience, abhor and reject them with the greatest grief and contrition that your heart can conceive, well meditating on these four things: That by sin you have lost the grace of God, forsaken your part of heaven, deserved the perpetual pains of hell, and renounced the eternal love of God.
You see, Philothea, that I speak of a general confession of your whole life, which, though I confess that it is not always absolutely necessary, yet I consider that it will be exceedingly profitable to you in this beginning, and therefore I earnestly advise it. It often happens that the ordinary confessions of those who live a common and vulgar life are full of great defects, for many times they do not prepare themselves at all, or very little; neither have they sufficient contrition; nay, it so frequently happens that they confess with a tacit desire to return to sin, because they are not willing to avoid the occasions of sinning, nor make use of the means necessary to amendment of life; and in all these cases a general confession is requisite to secure the soul. But, besides, a general confession brings us back to the knowledge of ourselves; it stirs us up to a wholesome shame and sorrow for our past life; causes us to admire the mercy of God, who has so long and so patiently expected us: it quiets our hearts, refreshes our spirits, excites in us good resolutions, gives occasion to our spiritual father to give advice more suitable to our condition; and opens our hearts, that we may with more confidence express ourselves in our future confessions. Speaking, then, of a general renewing of our hearts, and of an entire conversion of our souls to God, by means of a devout life, it seems reasonable to me, Philothea, that I recommend this general confession.
CHAPTER VII.
The second Purification, which is that from affection to sin.
All the Israelites departed, indeed, out of the land of Egypt, but they did not all depart heartily and willingly; wherefore, in the wilderness, many of them repined that they had not the onions and flesh-pots of Egypt. Thus there are penitents who, in effect, forsake sin, but not from their hearts: that is, they purpose to sin no more; but it is with a certain reluctance of heart to abstain from the mischievous delights of sin. Their hearts renounce sin, and avoid it, but they cease not to look back often that way, as Lot's wife did towards Sodom. They abstain from sin, as sick men do from melons, which they abstain from because the physician threatens them with death if they eat them ; but it is troublesome to them to refrain: they talk of them and are unwilling to believe them hurtful; they would at least smell them, and account those happy who may eat them. Thus those weak and faint-hearted penitents abstain from sin for a time, but to their grief: they would like to sin without running the risk of damnation; they speak of sin with a kind of satisfaction and relish, and think those happy who deliver themselves up to it.
A man resolved to revenge himself will renounce the desire in confession; but soon after he will be