User:Skunkmaster IV/Rescuing the Czar/Part One/Chapter VII

Chapter VII: The Royal Bolshevik and the Nurse

20. "My Charybdis conducted me to the barracks where a lot of undisciplined philosophers were discussing the parceling out of land.... The ringleader was a round-headed, long-nosed and bulky individual with a shaggy beard and dirty uniform.... I knew him in an instant, but he did not recognize me ... he was one of Von der Goltz' men who aided in the defense at Gallipoli.... The night before the Allied fleet withdrew he was lying beside a short, thickset and dark-haired Associated Press reporter with a German name and tortoise-shell eyeglass and was telling that same reporter that unless REINFORCEMENTS arrived AT ONCE the defenses would collapse!... The next day he was at Headquarters informing the General in command that BUT FOR HIM the Turkish forces would have surrendered!... He is NOW wearing a number of decorations for his military skill and bravery.... Such are the fortunes of war!... This is the man who one minute preaches communism and another minute gravely asserts that it will be a good thing for the Kaiser to get killed in the war so as to guarantee the SUCCESSION of the Empire.... Perhaps he is doing this for my benefit.... Anyway he occupies the center of the stage at present and GOVERNS this greedy and unruly mob by kicking discipline into a cocked hat and allowing every unshaved Bolshevik his own unrestricted way!... Under other circumstances I should dearly like to meet this boasting Furioso in a ten-foot ring when a little exercise is needed to keep myself in trim.... But NOW I am accepted as a BOLSHEVIK,--one of the elect, privileged to select my lady and rob and pillage when I please!... This suits me very well ... but on mature reflection it seems to me that a FEW in this literally UNGODLY gang are playing a very cunning part.... If that BE so I am not so sure how far my own assumed conversion to the doctrine of rapine will protect my skin.... So far, however, I have adopted the policy of vindictiveness, and, when asked a question, I merely growl and swear like a trooper.... I am making an impression...."

21. "On the way here the HERO of Gallipoli took quite a fancy to me, because I could beat him swearing perhaps.... Growing confidential over his liquor and Turkish cigarettes he asked point-blank: 'Didn't I see you at the TWELFTH DAY CEREMONY at the Winter Palace the time the Archbishop lost the golden cross in the river, a few years ago?'... I thought it better to deny the acquaintance and the incident.... I could have easily recalled the ceremony on the Neva, the decorated pavilion on the ice in front of the palace, the procession of church dignitaries in their stiff Byzantine robes and scintillating mitres moving slowly across the road followed by the Grand Dukes and the Emperor, the clear voices of the choir cutting through the frosty air, the ladies of the Court standing near the window and crossing themselves as the Czar stood motionless beneath the gilded and fretted canopy,--I could have recalled it all ... but I swore profanely and declared emphatically that ALL RELIGION WAS A COBWEB AND A SNARE to emancipated minds.... I pretended to get violently MAD about it and told him I would strangle any man who insulted me by accusing me of the most distant relationship with any religion excepting the religion of FREE LOVE.... He laughed like a lion with a sliver in its paw. 'You are absolutely the best COUNTERFEIT in circulation that I know of!' he guffawed. 'Well, I'm going to fire Syvorotka and put you in charge of a little FIRING SQUAD when we get to our camping ground at Ekaterinburg!' were his exact words, half whispered, half insinuated and wholly growled across the table in the diner.... With assumed hostility I actually barked: 'The dirtier the deviltry the more diverting!'... He opened his eyes widely like one emerging from a solemn drunk and WINKED knowingly as he shook my hand.... 'You know where Kerensky got his orders to release our fellows, of course,' he whispered. 'I guess you KNOW why he sent some people to Ekaterinburg a couple of days before the Czecho-Slovaks are scheduled to take it, and I guess you know too how it happened that so many MOTOR TRUCKS came all the way from Archangel to Ekaterinburg so as to be on hand when a certain Indian officer shows up, the ridiculous ranter raved.... But...."

"... If these lines should ever come to light I want to record right now, in justice to that apparently besotted creature, that I am under unutterable obligations to him for assigning to me the most diabolical piece of brutality that has been conceived during this period of moral leprosy and unrepenting malevolence.... I shall do my work well."

22. Then the following odds and ends appear:

"... The Métropole performer is a Baroness sure enough.... She knows a Syvorotka but declines to give his rank or whereabouts.... She tells me that this place was founded by Count Tatischshev in 1721 ... when Catherine was a baby.... The Monastery of 'Our Lady of Tikhvin' looming up before me is a very graceful compliment to the Mosque of St. Sophia it resembles in so many ways.... fine place to radio from to friends at Odessa ... especially if the NUN has been obeying orders.... Lvov is out of the way, over in the city prison, cooking, where he can't betray the prisoners at Ipatiev's.... When I was alone with my Imperial prisoner I tore the patch off from my shirt sleeve and handed it to him.... Sa lettre! he exclaimed in an undertone.... His manner was exceedingly polite.... 'Ouvrez, lisez,' I advised.... Oui, oui, je sais! je sais! he said softly, mais malheureusement cela est impossible!... 'Soak it in water', I replied.... 'Et vous, monsieur, êtes-vous américain ou français?' he came back.... 'Je suis né a Paris, mais je suis américain, and if the prisoner has no objection I'd rather speak in English.'... 'That will be delightful,' he said; 'I shall do as you say.'... He ran back to the bathroom. In a moment he returned holding the patch up before him.... 'Ah!' he continued aloud, 'this merely says that the Heir Apparent will make a cruise of the world in a man-of-war; what does that signify?'... 'If you recognize the writing,' I replied, 'you will, doubtless, remember the methods of its author when extending an invitation.'... 'Yes, yes, I see; how clever of you! Had you been a subject of mine I should have made you an ambassador!'... 'That would imply infinite wisdom on my part, Sire! I bowed very humbly.... It made a hit with my prisoner."

This entry follows:

"Alice will give up her wheel chair when the NUN gives the word ... she is worrying about my prisoner's sister, Olga, and her two companions, who insist on offering their services to the poor in the Crimea ... and well she may!... Facing the East, they are likely to travel south!... I must get rid of this old valet, Parafine Domino, who makes a nuisance of himself hovering around my prisoner like a hawk.... Gallipoli says he'll get rid of Alice's physician before the TENTS arrive,--substituting a fake doctor from the Red Guard, who'll tell me when the prisoners are fit to travel.... As 'Captain' of this Soviet Guard I am as cold-blooded as Gallipoli before the spies and hangers-on.... Captain?... that title seems to stump the old Russian soldiers,--they claim that there is no such animal.... The Sergeant has suggested that I put the prisoners under a SMALL GUARD when we take them to the Ural District Soviet Court of Workmen.... Nice trap to catch me.... If I agreed to this I'd be in the same category as Denikin or Dutov or Ekhart and be shot by the gang outside by mistake, so as to fulfill the prophecy of my lady of Buckingham.... My answer was to order the guard on the balcony to keep their guns pointed at the prisoners whenever they appear in the garden ... this will satisfy the eavesdropper in the red brick across the way and scare the wits out of old Parafine, besides giving him something to talk about when we get away.... To satisfy that suspicious Sergeant that there is no Japanese money secreted by the prisoners I have ordered my men to use their bayonets against the walls and ceilings ... even the frame of the bathroom is not to escape!... Gallipoli is growling around that I'm doing my work too damned well to seem reasonable!... The poor boob! His idea of being reasonable seems to consist in spreading rumors that the prisoners have been disposed of in a dozen different ways.... When Maria and Tatiana mounted the truck in the yard this confiding swaggerer started the gossip that they were being loaded up to be taken out of town and shot.... Now I am told by some of the excited guard that that report is TRUE because they heard some one in the attic of the red brick yelling: The baggage is at the station!'...

"When I asked them what we wanted with 'BAGGAGE' they went away growling that I wasn't playing fair!... To my somber-robed lady of Buckingham, who seems to have deserted me, as well as the slender guard at the Huis ten Bosch, as well as those at the Wilhelmstrasse and Odessa, who are part of this 'BAGGAGE,' my guard's agitation will assume the humorous character of unconscious prophecy.... Suspicion is in the air!... This undisciplined gang of cutthroats under that half-baked Sergeant are demanding HOSTAGES from me for my conduct of this business ... they want 'the Grand Dutchess Olga,' her two companions, and FIFTY other women!... AT LAST!... the planes are buzzing in the sky.... The Ikon of Holy Nicholas is being wrapped up.... The NUN has copies of the letters to Oldenburg and Gendrikov.... It's time to say to my prisoner: Come with ME to the U.D.S. of W.A.R.A.D..... If he has the code from Odessa he will ask: 'Are you taking me to be shot?'... RUNMOBS.... I'll have the guard go through his pockets to find the letters that'll turn him over to my vengeance ... then for Ekhart's tunnel and OBLIVION!"

23. Then this entry follows. It seems to be sufficiently circumstantial to justify its reproduction here:

"Murder, like jealousy, in this country is a disease," begins the narrative. "My part in this international murder will paralyze the politician and mystify the sober mind of intelligent belief.... History will not be satisfied, however, without a VICTIM, and I must furnish a victim that will satisfy the mob outside!... The Order has been given.... There are celebrations among the banditti.... there are moistened eyes among many peasants; there are strong men and gallant men among the gang out yonder whose very looks betray the HATRED they entertain for the suspected executioner of their former ruler and his excited family.... They fear, they try to avoid me; and I can see in their looks that, given a favorable opportunity, they will hang me to the highest electric wire pole in the city!...

"I am not so certain, though, that EVERYONE outside will accept my theatric 'slaughter' as the Gospel truth.

"Diagonally across the way there has been a Red Cross nurse eternally peeking through her window in this direction.... If we go out into the courtyard she can see us plainly behind the other buildings, for there is nothing to obstruct her vision.... and she seems mighty anxious to keep tab on all proceedings in the yard.... I have tried to figure out a resemblance between this nurse and the capricious Métropole Baroness, but the nurse seems much older.... Perhaps she is disguised.... If she ever reveals her identity she will remember me as the man who tipped my cap to her after posting the two sentries in front of the palisade between the telephone poles and the British Consulate.... If she remembers me she will also recall the drillings I gave my awkward squad for the few days I kept them parading after my prisoners in the yard.... and if anything happens to me she will KNOW that I did my job well up to the minute I write this.... In a few hours more the future political history of the world may be changed forever.... To blot out seven lives is all.... Dokónchet the Romanoffs!"

23. This entry follows:

"To satisfy the mob I had to perform a very unpleasant duty.... I use the word duty advisedly, remembering the instructions I committed to memory in the underground office of the Wilhelmstrasse .... Knowing that I am continually WATCHED and spied upon, not only by that nurse in the window over there, but by a number of crazed lunatics in uniform, I was compelled to treat a very pretty Princess shamefully.... News was spread yesterday that Japan had loaned Siberia $250,000,000, and the mob was clamoring for the jewels of the prisoners. This unoffending Princess--this girl, hardly more than seventeen--was holding a conversation in French with her brother Alexis, a little lad of fourteen, in the courtyard. The boy was pale and emaciated from abuse, solitude and confinement. The Princess, a radiant beauty under this hot July sun, was trying to cheer Alexis up. Her gown was badly soiled and of a simple soft material that seemed to accentuate her modest resignation and glorify her courageous cheerfulness in gloom. Her three older sisters, in gowns that spoke of yesterdays, were walking moodily down the path, when a crowd of ruffians burst by the sentries, tore through the doors, and dashed into the yard in the direction of the startled girls.... Taking in the situation quickly, I raised my voice and began swearing like a demon, and prancing around like a skberny madman.... Then rushing up to Tatiana I TORE FROM HER EARS the jewels that had descended from her early ancestors and howled: 'Aha! you'll wear those cursed things, will you, when your betters are starving in the gutters! Get back, all of you, into your Ipatiev SEPULCHRE and get me ALL the jewelry in the place or I'll turn these men loose upon you in three quarters of an hour!... Soldiers,--attention!!' ... The mob crawled into line.... 'The next time any of you men come into this yard without any orders,' I said, I'll have you SHOT WITH THESE PEOPLE IN THE MANSION!... Column right!... March!'... I heard them mumbling as they passed the first sentry that the cursed interloping tovarestch intended to keep all the loot!'.... Following Alexis and his sisters into the ex-Emperor's study I laid down the earrings upon the flat-topped desk and apologized for my apparent act of cowardice and cruelty....

"There was pathos in that father's soft and courteous voice as he looked at me and said: 'I understand,--yes, yes, I know. You are right--quite right. My darlings, you must not blame this man.'"