User:SnowyCinema/P/The Cocoanuts (film)/Screenplay
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starring The Marx Brothers
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s We want to see you, Mr. Hammer. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s What's the matter? Somebody pay their bill? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s We want our money. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Yes -- money -- you want your money? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s We want to get paid. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Oh -- you want my money? Is that fair? Do I want your money? Suppose George Washington's soldiers had asked for money? Where would this country be today? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s But they did ask. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s And where's Washington? No, my friends --- no -- money will never make you happy -- and happy will never make you money. That might be a wise crack, but I doubt it. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s We want our money! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I'll make you all a promise. If you'll all stick with me and work hard, we'll forget about money. Let's get together and we'll make a regular hotel out of this place! I'll put writing paper in the hotel and next year if you behave yourselves, we'll have envelopes. I'm
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going to put extra blankets in all your rooms -- free. There'll be no cover charge. Think -- think of the opportunities here in Florida. Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. And now I've got a nickel in my pocket. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s That's all very well, Mr. Hammer, but we haven't been paid in two weeks and we want our wages. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Wages? Do you want to be wage slaves? Answer me that! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s No! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Of course not. Well, what makes wage slaves? Wages. I want you to be free. Remember there's nothing like Liberty, except Colliers and the Saturday Evening Post. Be free, my friends. One for all and all for me -- me for you and three for five and six for a quarter! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Pardon me, a couple of telegrams for you, Mr. Hammer. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s There you see. Business is beginning to pick up already. Now if you boys will only be calm -- ha
"We arrive this afternoon on the four-thirty. Kindly reserve two floors and three ceilings." They must be mice!
"If we like your property, we will immediately buy." See that -- things are starting our way, already. Who is it from -- Western Union and they've got a lot of money too. On the four-thirty, eh? I'll take a bus down myself. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Here's another one, Mr. Hammer. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Say, we're going to be swamped. By tonight, we're going to turn away thousands of people.
"If there is another hotel in Cocoanut Beach, cancel our reservations." I know it! It was too good. Wait a minute!
"P.S. Aunt Fanny had an eight-pound boy. Can you come to the wedding?" You see, everything is all right, boys -- everything is all-right. You are all invited to the wedding of Aunt Fanny's eight-pound boy. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Hooray! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Oh, but that won't be for a couple of years yet! In the meantime, I want you to buck up -- get down to work. Let's put this thing over with a bang and above all -- forget about money. Don't think of it! Just forget about it, because you won't get it anyway. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Template:Parenthetical Hooray! Horray! Hooray! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s See that. I keep them dancing for their money! Yeah, Jamison, I'm going down to meet the 4:15. If I never get back, you'll know I'm still waiting for the train, and in my absence, I'm relying upon you to take good care of everything. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s You can depend upon me. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s That's fine. And think of me. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s You bet I will. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s And if any guests come in -- take good care of them. And remember I'll be back some day. Keep a light burning in the window -- if you can find a window. Good-bye, Jamison. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Hello, Bobby. Why so downhearted? Bob Adams cut you out with Polly Potter? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I'm not worried about a hotel clerk. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s No, but I'll bet you're worried about the Potter millions. You generally could use money in the old days --- Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Oh lay off that stuff. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s -- You know marrying Polly is the only way for you to square your debts. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I can take care of myself. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I doubt it. Suppose I have a little plan to take care of both of us. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s What do you mean? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Have you ever seen that diamond necklace of Mrs. Potter's? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s You bet I have. What's that got to do with us? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Her room and mine are right next to each other. Hers is three-eighteen; mine three-twenty. The door between is unlocked. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Well? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s She keeps everything in a jewel case, locked up in her dresser. The key is always in her bag. That's what you have got to get. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s It's a large order, but maybe it can be done. Suppose I invite Mrs. Potter and Polly to take supper with me tonight? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s What then? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Some time during the evening I might be able to get the key out of her bag. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Now you're talking. That sounds more like old times and now I will try and get rid of Bob Adams for you.
End of Reel One
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Look, this is Cocoanut Manor. You know that hill ---? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s What a question. Do I know that cunning little hill? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s It's cunning, all right. That's why there hasn't been any development here. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Couldn't it be cut down? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s No -- it's too expensive. Now, here's what happened. John W. Berryman was here to see it last month. You know Berryman practically made Palm Beach and Miami, but he said he wouldn't touch this. Now when a man like that passes a place up, no one wants it. Do you know anything about architecture? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s No, but I'd love to learn. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Well, I made a drawing of the whole place, showing it as a built up scheme, without cutting down the hill, or having it get in the way. I made the hill fit in with the architectural scheme, see? I sent Berryman a copy last week, and his secretary wrote me a nice note saying they were studying my plans. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s That's thrilling! Does Mr. Hammer know about it? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I did. But if he takes it, I will design the buildings. Say, I may be an architect yet. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s If he only does, I'm sure it will be the most beautiful place in the world. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Well, it would be if you lived there? Look, see what I've written? Heaven for Polly and me. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s That looks great. When do I move in? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Any day now. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s It's a lovely dream, Bob. Let's make it come true. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Will you look at that? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I am looking. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Well, it's darn cute. I wonder who it can be. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Let's find out. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Then little Red Riding Hood said to the wolf -- wolf-wolf-wolfwolf-wolf. Hello. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s How do you do, Miss Potter. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Hello. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Your mother is looking for you, Miss Potter? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s She generally is, and she generally finds me. You know Mother. Thanks a lot. It was a lovely story, Mr. Adams, I'd like to hear the rest of it sometime, good-bye. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I wonder if I could hear it sometime. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s With pleasure. How about you, Yates? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s No thanks. You know what happens to bad little boys who tell stories. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Certainly, they marry the beautiful princess. So long. But I'll be there with you, when my dreams come true. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Nice boy. The kind who usually gets what he wants. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Not always. I might win out yet. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Well -- miracles do happen. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Well, Polly, you've been out again with Mr. Adams. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s But only for a little while, Mother. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Why a daughter of mine should fool around with a hotel clerk when she has the opportunity of marrying one of the Boston Yates -- is more than I can understand. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Oh, who cares, about the Boston Yates? Anyway, Bob isn't a clerk; he's an architect. He's only clerking until he can get started. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s One who clerks, Polly, is a clerk, and that settles it. And I want you to remember that no Potter has ever been involved in a single scandal. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s How about Uncle Dick? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Polly, it's a well known fact that your uncle was drunk at the time, and another thing, young lady, I'm quite tired of your sitting on the beach all hours of the night.
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Hey! Hey' Why don't you try something for that insomnia? You oughta cut out drinking so much coffee. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I'm sorry, sir, say, any luck with the 4:30? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Yes, it didn't hit me, that's the only luck I had with it. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Mr. Hammer, I think I know what's wrong with the hotel. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I think I know too. You're fired. Get your hat and my coat and get out. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Maybe the season hasn't started yet. Maybe the hotel hasn't opened. Don't worry, Mr. Hammer, in a few weeks you'll be cleaning up. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Yes, and making the beds! Go on, get out -- I can handle the rush myself. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s How do you do, sir? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Why don't you whistle at the crossing? You're just the woman I'm looking for. And now whether you like it or not, I'm going to tell you all about Florida real estate. It is the first time it has ever been mentioned here -- today. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I'm sorry, Mr. Hammer, but I'm afraid --- Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Do you know that property values have increased since 1929 one housand per cent? Do you know that this is the biggest development since Sophie Tucker? Do you know that Florida is the show spot of America and Cocoanut Manor the black spot of Florida? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s You told me about that yesterday. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I know but I left out a comma. Look, in a little while I'm going to hold an auction sale at Cocoanut Manor, the suburb terrible or beautiful. You must come over. There's going to be entertainment, sandwiches, and the auction. If you don't like auctions, we can play contract. Here it is -- Cocoanut Manor -- 42 hours from Times Square by railroad. 1600 miles as the crow flies and 1800 miles as the horse flies. There you are -- Cocoanut Manor glorifying the American sewer and the Florida sucker. It's the most exclusive residential district in Florida. Nobody lives there. And the climate -- ask me about the climate, I dare you. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Very well -- how is the --- Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I'm glad you brought it up. Our motto is Cocoanut Beach, no snow, no ice, and no business. Do you know that Florida is the greatest state in the Union? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s It is? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Take its climate --- no, we took that -- take its fruits -- take the alligator pears -- take all the alligator pears and keep 'em -- see if I care. Do you know how alligator pears are made? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Haven't the slightest idea --- Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s There you are. That's because you've never been an alligator, and don't let it happen again. Do you know that it sometimes requires years to bring the pear and the alligator together? They don't like each other. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s No. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s No. Do you know how many alligator pears are sent out of this state every year and told not to come back? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I don't think I do. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s All they can get a hold of. Florida feeds the nation but nobody feeds me and that's what I want to talk to you about. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Mr. Hammer --- Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s -- another thing, take our cattle raising. Oh, I don't mean anything personal. But here is the ideal cattle raising section. We have long horns, short horns and the shoe horns. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Mr. Hammer, will you let me say something, please.... Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I hardly think so, and there's something else I want to bring to your mind. Where will you be when you're sixty-five? That's only about three months from now. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s If I were to buy, I should prefer some place like Palm Beach. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Palm Beach? The Atlantic City of yesterday? The slums of tomorrow? Do you know that the population of Cocoanut Beach has doubled in the past week? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Has it? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Three bulldogs were born and we're expecting a nanny goat in the morning. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I must be going. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Aw, now, don't go. Before you go, let me show you a sample of the sewer pipe we're going to lay. Look at it. Nobody could fool you on a sewer pipe, can they, a woman like you? Now this is an eight inch pipe. But of course, all property owners will be allowed to vote on the size of their pipe. In case of a tie, it goes to the Supreme Court, and I can give you a little inside information in advance. The chief Justice is crazy about his type of sewer. Here put it in your pocket -- see you later. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Mr. Hammer, I can't use this. I don't want it.
End of Reel Two
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Hello. Yes, ice water in 318? Is that so? Where did you get it? Oh, you want some? Oh, that's different. Have you got any ice? No, I haven't. This is Cocoanut Beach. No snow. No ice. Get some onions, they will make your eyes water. What? You, too. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Oh, Mr. Hammer. Mrs. Thompson wants to know if you'd reserve a table for her in a nice quiet spot. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Yeh. A nice quiet spot, eh? Yeh. Tell her she can eat in the lobby. Say, we ought to dress this place up a bit. It looks terrible. Front. Front. Front. Here front. Here front. Here front. Front. Front. Front. Jameson, what's become of our front? Are we all out of front? I'm going to fire some of these people; give me the fire bell. Hey you, stick around here; now if any customers come in tie 'em and brand 'em. Look at him. He's better dressed than I am. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Hey. Come on. Come on. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Gentlemen, how do you do? Come here. Come here. What are you boys giving me, the run around? Come over here. Now, what do you want? What do you want? Explain your business. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s We send you telegrams. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Oh, you're the boys that sent these telegrams? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s How do you do? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s That's a coincidence. I used to send telegrams myself. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s How are you? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s And how are you? That's all right. Don't worry. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Say, you can stay, but you will have to take that ground hog out of here. Now what do you want? Explain your business. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Well, we want to make a reservash. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Reservash? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Yes. We want a room, but no bath. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Oh, I see. You're just here for the winter. Well step this way and I'll see what I can do for you. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s All right. We stay for the summer, too. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I'm sorry boys, but we got no vacancies. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Gota no vacancies? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s We've got plenty of rooms. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Thatsa awright, we take a room. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s You want a room? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s All right, we take a vacancy. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Boy, take the gentlemen's baggage. Hey, hey, do you know that suitcase is empty? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s That's all right. We'll fill it up before we leave. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Oh, you will, eh? Well, you will empty it before I go out. Step right this way boys. Put on your moniker. This boy wins the gold cigar. Anybody else? Right this way. Hey, hey, hey, don't throw that. That's only for long distance. Now then what do you want? Would you like a suite on the third floor? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s No, I'll take a Polock in the basement. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s You'll have to take that up with the Commissary Department, that's an entirely different proposition and I can't ---- Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Here you are. Let me help you here. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. The afternoon mail isn't in yet. I can use you the first of the month. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Telegram for Mr. Hammer. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Telegram? Just tell them I'll send them the money in the morning. Now then, what do you want? What do you want? Do you want a single room? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s We'd like to double up. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Well, eat some green apples. What's that? You'll have to talk louder. I can't hear you. If you'll take your nose out of that receiver, it will be okay. Ha-ha-ha. Funny feller you. Hello. What's that? You want to know where you can get hold of Mrs. Potter. I don't know, she is awfully ticklish. Now I'm in a position gentlemen ---- Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s He's hungry. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Here, have one of these flowers. They're Buckwheat. Pick out a nice one, now, I don't want you to get any the worst of this. I'm so glad. Now you boys will pardon me for a few minutes. I have some very important business to attend to. As a matter of face, I'm going upstairs to get your partner a stomach pump. He needs one. And I'll be down in a few minutes. And while I'm gone, don't forget -- register. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Hey, don't forget -- register. That's all right. Hello. Hello. No, we got no rooms. We gotta nothing. We gotta no customers. All right. All right. I send you up some. All right. Good-bye. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Did you ring sir? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Did you ring sir? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Did you ring sir? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Come on. All right then, but let's be careful. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I will. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Tell me how it is that the door between your room and Mrs. Potter's is open? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Well, you see, I told her that I trusted her. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s You trusted her?
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Hey, stop that. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Come on, let's dance. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Come on, Penelope, let's get away from this bum. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Bum. Bum. Bum! Bum! Bum! Trala Boom, etc. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I could kill those tramps. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Wait a minute. Don't kill them yet. I've got an idea. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s About them? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Umhuh. Listen, when the necklace is found missing someone has got to be blamed. Why not them? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Gee, that's not bad. But have you got anything definite? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Suppose I flirt with them and they come to my room. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s What then? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I'll complain to the management. Then on the night the necklace disappeared they were seen near Mrs. Potter's room. Get it? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s You bet. I get it. That's a grand idea. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Thanks, kind sir. Well, I've got to run along now. See you later? Good-bye. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Hey, hey, what you do, eh? All the time you eat. That's no good. We gotta get the money. Right now, I'd do anything for money. I kill somebody for money. I-a-keel you for money. Oh, no, you're my friend. I keel you for nothing. What do you laugh for? You're in the hotel three hours and you no got something yet. What you steal? A watch? Thatsa fine, Gingersolla watch. Thatsa fine. Thats all you steal? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
End of Reel III
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Hey, I think I know your face. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I give up, whose is it? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I'll tell you in a minute. I brought some pictures from headquarters. Let me see your face. Yours too. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s All right. All right. I make my own face. Thisa way. No pushing. Hey. Come one. Your start! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s What are you guys fighting for? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s We no fight. That's my friend. We play this way. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Wat're you doing around here? What's your name? I'm pretty suspicious of you birds. Now you listen to me, I haven't anything on you yet, but I'm going to keep watching. I've got your full records right here in my pocket. There's enough to send you up the minute you start anything. Do you get me? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Wise Guy! Wise Guy! Gotta start a fight when the detective comes around, can't waita little, but you goota pusha. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Hurry along, my dear. Only a few minutes to get to the train. Can you tell me what's the next train to Philadelphia? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s There's a train once a week and sometimes twice a day. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Thank you. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s That's all right. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s A little tight. Needs something taken out. That's -- just what I need. Thanks. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Hello. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s How do you do? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s That's a good looking coat you have on. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s You like it, eh? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Do you know, you look like the Prince of Wales. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Better. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Where did you get that coat? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Thatsa my coat. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s That's your coat? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s That's my coat. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Well, it doesn't fit you. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I know I had it made to order. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Tell me, what are you doing tonight? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Maybe you gotta good idea, eh? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Well, don't you dare come to. 320 at 11 o'clock. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s All right, I come half past ten. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Template:Parenthetical
Did you see a handkerchief? I thought I dropped one. Well, it really doesn't matter because what I'm really interested in is you. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Did anyone ever tell you that you looked like the Prince of Wales?
That's funny, I thought it was an original idea of mine. Tell me, do you know who I am? Do you know my room number? Well, I'll be there at eleven o'clock tonight. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Did anyone ever tell you that you look like the Prince of Wales? I don't mean the present Prince of Wales; one of the old Wales, and believe me I say Wales, I mean Wales. I know a whale when I see one. Did you say your room is three eighteen? You know I am the proprietor of this hotel and I have a passkey for every room in it. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Passkey? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Passkey -- that's Russian for pass -- you know they passkey down the streetskey. Won't you like down? Aw, if we could find a little bungalow -- eh? Oh, of course, I know where we could find one, but maybe the people wouldn't get out. But if we could find a nice little empty bungalow just for me and you, where we could bill and cow, no -- I meant we could bull and cow. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Do you know what you are trying to say? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Yes, it is not what I'm thinking of. What I meant was, if we had a nice
/foot// Template:Theatrical dialogue/e //foot/
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/head// Template:Theatrical dialogue/s //head/
little bungalow and you was on the inside and I was on the outside trying to get in and me inside trying to get out or, no, you're inside out and I was upside -- I'll tell you, if you don't hear from me by next Friday, the whole thing's off! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I don't think I understand. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I mean -- your eyes -- your eyes, they shine like the pants of a blue serge suit. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s What? The very idea. That's an insult. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s That's not a reflection on you -- it's on the pants. What I meant was if we had a nice bungalow and I came home from work -- and you standing by the gate -- no -- you'd come home from work -- and I was standing by the gate, and we came down the path and we went inside and the shades were drawn and the lights were low, and then -- are you sure your husband's dead? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Why, yes. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s There seems to be a trace of uncertainty in that "yes." You know a yes like that was once responsible for me jumping out of a window and I'm not the jumper I used to be. What I meant was, you are going to be here all winter and I'm stuck with the hotel anyhow -- why don't you grab me until you can make other arrangements? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s My dear, Mr. Hammer, I shall never get married before my daughter. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s You did once! Oh, but I love you, I love you. Can't you see how I am pining for you. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s What in the world is the matter with you? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Oh, I'm not myself tonight. I don't know who I am. One false move and I'm yours. I love you. I love you anyhow. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I don't think you'd love me if I were poor. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I might, but I'd keep my mouth shut. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I'll not stay here any longer and be insulted this way! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s No -- don't go away and leave me here alone. You stay here and I'll go away. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I don't know what to say. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Oh say, that you'll be truly mine, or truly yours, or yours truly. Don't you know what I'm --- Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Will you keep your hands to yourself. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Come on, I'll play you one more game. Come on the 3 of you. Oh, can you come down a little bit. Just think -- tonight, tonight when the moon is sneaking around the clouds I'll be sneaking around you. I'll meet you tonight under the moon. Oh, I can see you now -- you and the moon. You wear a neck-tie so I'll know you.
Template:Parenthetical Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
End of Reel Four
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Send up some ice water right away. That's right. Thank you. Thank goodness. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Close the door. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Did you get the key? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Yes, it's one of these. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Oh, that's fine. Now, listen. We can't take any chances on this job. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s How do you mean? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s There's bound to be trouble when she misses the necklace. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Well? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s We don't want it found on us. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I should say not. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s We've got to play safe and hide it somewhere, for a while. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Hide it? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Just for a few days. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Yes -- but where? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Anywhere but in here. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Hide it? I know just the place. A hollow tree stump about a mile from here. Will that do? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Fine -- but how do I get there? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s It's the Cocoanut Manor. You've been out there? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I'm not so sure, Harvey. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Here, I'll show you. Now you go right out Cocoanut Road; then there's Augustine Road, like this -- but instead, you take the Granada Road. Suddenly you come to a clearing with a fringe of trees around it. That's Cocoanut Manor, where the stump is. It's about twenty feet from the edge of the clearing. That's where you put the jewels. You can't miss it. Now, you take the necklace right out there, see? I've got to go back down stairs, or Mrs. Potter will be suspicious. And be careful! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I will -- Cocoanut Manor -- Granada Road --- Twenty feet from the clearing -- everything's going along swimmingly now. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Do you remember me? The Prince of Wales? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Why, yes, of course I do, but -- Mr. Hammer, how dare you come into my room? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s See here, if there's going to be two people in this room, it will be fifty cents extra. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Did he go? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Who? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Anybody. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Get out. Oh, Prince -- how you frightened me. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Ha ha ha ha ha. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s This hotel not only has running water; it has running guests. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s You remember me? Prince of Wales? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Who is it? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Me -- King of England. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s My father! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Ha ha ha ha. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Come in. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Ice water. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Put it there -- thank you. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s "Thank you?" Why didn't you give'm a dime? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Come in. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Lay down. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Well -- I never! I should say not! You get out of here! Get out! Hurry! Hurry! My -- Come in! What is the
/foot// Template:Theatrical dialogue/e //foot/
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/head// Template:Theatrical dialogue/s //head/
matter with that man? Mr. Hammer, what are you doing in my room? Don't you dare take that coat off in this room! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Well -- I was on --- Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s -- You get out of here as fast as you can go! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I was only playing, that's all! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I'll find out about this outfit. Thank goodness, he's gone. Never mind, operator! Come -- come in -- who are you? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s That's all right. I'll be through in a minute. Well, I guess there's nobody in here. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s You don't know where to look. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Ah -- what's that you said? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Oh, this is awful. When you've quite finished, let me know. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Well, everything seems to be all right in here. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I'm not so sure about that. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s All right. I know where to go. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s W-h-e-w! Alone at last. Oh! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Come over here, I want to see you. Now, listen to me. I'm not going to have that red-headed fellow running around the lobby. If you want to keep him up in the room, you'll have to keep him in a trap. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s You can't catch him. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Who is he? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s He's my partner, but he no speak. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Oh, that's your silent partner. Well, anyhow you wired me about some property. I've thought it over. Now, I can let you have three lots watering the front, or I can let you have three lots fronting the water. Now, these lots cost me nine thousand dollars and I'm going to let you have them for fifteen because I like you. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I no buy nothing. I gotta no money. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s You got no money? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I no gotta one cent. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s How're you going to pay for your room? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Thatsa your lookout. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Oh, you're just an idle rumor? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Well, you see, we comma here to maka money. I reada in de paper, and it say: "Big boom in Florida." So we come. We're coupla big booms, too! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Well, I'll show you how you can make some real money. I'm going to hold an auction in a little while in Cocoanut Manor. You -- you know what an auction is, eh? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I come from Italy on the Atlantic-Auction. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Well, let's go ahead as if nothing happened. I say I'm holding an auction at Cocoanut Manor. And when the crowd gathers around, I want you to mingle with them. Don't pick their pockets, just mingle with them -- and --- Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I'll find time for both. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Well, maybe we can cut out the auction. Here's what I mean. If somebody says a hundred dollars, you say two -- if somebody says two hundred dollars, you say three --- Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Speaka up? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s That's right. Now, if nobody says anything, then you start it off. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s How'm I goning to know when to no say nuthin'? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Well, they'll probably notify you. You fool, if they don't say anything, you'll hear 'em, won't you? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Well, mebbe I no lissen. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Well, don't tell 'em. Now then, if we're successful in disposing of these lots, I'll see that you get a nice commission. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s How about some money? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Well, you can have your choice. Now, in arranging these lots, of course, we use blue prints. You know what a blue print is, huh? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Oysters! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s How is it that you never got double pneumonia? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I go around by myself. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Do you know what a lot is? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Yeah, too much. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I don't mean a whole lot. Just a little lot with nothing on it. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Any time you gotta too much, you gotta whole lot. Look, I'll explain it to you. Some time you no gotta much; sometimes you gotta whole lot. You know that it's a lot. Somebody else maybe thinka its too much; it's a whole lot, too. Now, a whole lot is too much; too much is a whole lot; same thing. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Say, the next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you, will you? Come here, Rand McNally, and I'll explain this thing to you. Now look, this is a map and diagram of the whole cocoanut section. This whole area is within a radius of approximately three-quarters or a mile. Radius? Is there a remote possibility that you know what a radius means? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s It'sa WJZ. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Well -- I walked right into that one. It's going to be a cinch explaining the rest of this thing to you -- I can see that. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I catcha on quick. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s That's a rodeo you're thinking of. Look, Einstein. Here's Cocoanut Manor. No matter what you say, this is Cocoanut Manor. Here's Cocoanut Manor. Here's Cocoanut Heights. That's a swamp -- right over where the -- where the road forks, that's Cocoanut Junction. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Where have you got Cocoanut Custard? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Why, that's on one of the forks. You probably eat with your knife, so you wouldn't have to worry about that. Now, here's the main road, leading out of Cocoanut Manor. That's the road I wish you were on. Now over here -- on this site we're going to build an Eye and Ear Hospital. This is going to be a sight for sore eyes. You understand? That's fine. Now, right here is the residential section. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s People live there, eh? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s No, that's the stockyards. Now all along here -- this is the river front -- all along the river, all along the river -- those are all levees. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Thatsa the Jewish neighborhood? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Well, we'll pass over that. . You're a peach, boy! Now, here is a little peninsula, and here is a viaduct leading over to the mainland. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Why a duck? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I'm all right. How are you? I say here is a little peninsula, and here's a viaduct leading over to the mainland. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s All right. Why a duck? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I'm not playing Ask-Me-Another. I say, that's a viaduct. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s All right. Why-a duck? Why a -- why a duck? Why-a-no-chicken? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I don't know why-a-no-chicken. I'm a stranger here myself. All I know is that i'ts a viaduct. You try to cross over there a chicken, and you'll find out why a duck. It's deep water, that's viaduct. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Thatsa-why-a-duck? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Look...Suppose you were out horseback riding and you came to that stream and wanted to ford over there, you couldn't make it. Too deep. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s But what do you want with a Ford when you gotta horse? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Well, I'm sorry the matter ever came up. All I know is that it's a viaduct. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Now look...all righta...I catcha on to why-a-horse, why-a-chicken, why-a-this, why-a-that. I no catch on to why-a-duck. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I was only fooling. I was only fooling. They're going to build a tunnel in the morning. Now, is that clear to you? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Yes. Everything -- excepta why-a-duck. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Well, that's fine. Now I can go ahead. Now, look, I'm going to take you down and show you our cemetary. I've got a waiting list of fifty people at that cemetary just dying to get in. But I like you --- Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s -- Ah -- you're-a-my friend. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I like you and I'm going --- Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s -- I know you like-a.... Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s -- To shove you in ahead of all of them. I'm going to see that you get a steady position. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s That's good. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s And if I can arrange it, it will be horizontal. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Yeah, I see --- Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Now remember, when the auction starts, if anybody says one hundred dollars --- Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I-a say-a two hundred --- Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s That's grand. Now, if somebody says two hundred --- Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s -- I-a say three hundred! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s That's great! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Yes. Now, you know how to get down there? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s No, I no understand. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Now, look. Listen. You go down there, down to that narrow path there, until you come to the -- to that little jungle there. You see it? Where those thatched palms were? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Yes, I see. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s And then, there's a little clearing there, a little clearing with a wire fence around it. You see that wire fence there? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s All right. Why-a-wire-fence? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Oh no, we're not going to go all through that again! You come along with me, and I'll fix you up! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
- End of Reel Five -
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s All right. All right. I know what you mean. Bid 'em up. Bid 'em up. It's go a high. It's go a high. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s That's it. If somebody says one hundred, you say two hundred. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I bid two. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s That's it. If we put this deal over, you can have anything you got. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I no -- a got anything. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Be alert. Be alert. That's it -- be alert. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I be -- I don't know what it is, but I be, all right. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Be alert, or papa don't go out at all. All ye suckers who are going to get trimmed, step this way for the big swindle. Ladies and gentlemen, before proceeding with the main business of the day, which is he selling of these lots at any price, we're going to have a little entertainment. Very little. I want to present to you Miss Polly Potter, the best paying guest in the hotel. She will sing for you -- me too. Miss Potter. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Template:Parenthetical
/po// Monkeys upon a tree, never are very blue They never seem to be under par that is true, Not like the ones you see on a bar in the zoo Monkeys upon a tree do the monkey doodle doo. Oh, among the mangoes where the monkey gang goes
/foot// Template:Theatrical dialogue/e //foot/
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/head// Template:Theatrical dialogue/s //head/
You can see them do the little monkey doodle doo Oh, a little monkey playing on his one key, Gives them all the cue To do the monkey doodle doo. Let me take you by the hand, Over to the jungle band, If you're too old for dancing, Get yourself a monkey gland And then let's go my little dearie, There's the Darwin The'ry Telling me and you To do the monkey doodle doo. //po/ Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s That's Florida, folks, Florida, singing, dancing and entertainment. After the entertainment, after the entertainment, there'll be sandwiches, but remember, if there are no lots sold, there will be no sandwiches.
Florida, folks -- Sunshine -- perpetual sunshine -- all the year around. Let's get the auction started before we get a tornado. Right this way. Step forward. Step forward everybody. Friends, you are now in Cocoanut Mancr, one of the finest cities in. Florida. Of course, we still need a few finishing touches, But who doesn't! This is the heart of the residential district.
Every lot is a stone's throw from the station. As soon as they throw enough stones, we're going to build a station. Eight hundred beautiful residences will be built right here. Why they are as good as up. Better. You can have any kind of a home you want to. You can even get stucco -- Oh, how you can get stucco. Now is the time to buy while the new boom is on. Remember that old saying, a new boom sweeps clean? And don't forget the guarantee -- my personal guarantee. If these lots don't double in value in a year, I don't know what you can do about it. Now we'll take lot #20 -- twentath -- right at the corner of DeSota Avenue. Of
/foot// Template:Theatrical dialogue/e //foot/
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/head// Template:Theatrical dialogue/s //head/
course, you all know who DeSota was? He discovered a body of water. You've heard of the water they named after him. De Sota Water. Now this lot has a 20 foot frontage, a 14 foot backage and a mighty fine garage. Now then what am I offered for lot number 20. Anything at all. Anything at all, to start it. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Two hundred dollars. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Ah -- a gentleman bids two hundred dollars. Who'll bid three? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Three hundred dollars. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Ha! Ha! Another gentleman says three hundred dollars. Do I hear four? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Four hundred dollars. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Well; the auction is practically over. Yes, it's all over but the shooting. I'll attend to that later. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Five hundred dollars. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Do I hear six hundred? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Six hundred-dollah. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Sold for six hundred dollars. Wrap up that lot and put some poison ivy on it. Well, I came out even on that one. That was a great success. Yeah, one more success like that and I'll sell my body to a medical institute. Now, we'll take lot #21. There it is. There it is, over there, right where that cocoanut tree is. Now what am I offered for lot #21. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Two Hundred Dollars. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Why, my friend, there's more than two hundred dollars worth of milk in those cocoanuts -- and what milk, milk from contented cow-co-nuts. Who will say 300? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s
Four hundred dollars.
Five hundred dollars.
Six hundred - seven hundred - eight hundred. What th' heck do I care?
Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s What the heck do you care? But how about me? Sold to what the heck for eight hundred dollars. I hope all your teeth have cavities and don't forget' abscess makes the heart grow fonder. When he said via-duck, I should have smelt a rat. I did, but I didn't know who it was. Now we will take lot number twenty-two. What am I offered for lot #22? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s One hundred dollars. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Two hundred dollars. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Sold for one hundred dollars! Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed. Now, we'll take lot #23. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Two a hundred dollah. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Hey! What are you going to do with all these lots? Play lotto? Who'll say three hundred? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Four hundred. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Four hundred? Do I hear five hundred? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s
Five hundred.
Six hundred.
Seven hundred.
Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Eight hundred. Do I hear a nine hundred? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s You hear a nine; you hear a ten. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s If I hear a ten -- you'll hear plenty. Do I hear nine? Will the gentleman who said seven say nine? Will he say six? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s He say six, I say seven; he say seven, I say eight; he say eight, I say nine. I gotta plents of numbers left. When I start I no stop for nothing. Bid 'em up. I go higher, higher, all the time. I go higher --- Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s You'll go higher when I get hold of you. Sold to Hiawatha for eight hundred dollars. Get away from that tree before it dies. Ha! Ha! Ha! What'm I offered for lot twenty-four? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Fifty dollars. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Sold for fifty dollars. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Two a hundred dollars. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Too late. Too late. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Yeah -- too late! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Now, we'll take lot twenty-five. Right where you're standing. Will you please take your feet off that lot. You're getting it all dirty.
/foot// Template:Theatrical dialogue/e //foot/
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/head// Template:Theatrical dialogue/s //head/
Now, here's a lot, folks -- it don't look very big on top but it's all yours as far down as you want to go and it's dirt cheap. Now then, what am I offered for lot 25? Anything at all to start it off, anything at ll. What became of Peter Rabbit? What'm I offered for lot #25? Come on folks, you're all allowed to bid. You know this is a free country, you're all allowed to bid. What am I offered for lot #25? What am I offered for lot #25 and a year's subscription to the Youth's Companion? Will somebody take a year's subscription to the Youth's Companion? Will somebody take a year's subscription. I'm trying to work my way thru college. Will somebody take a 6 month's subscription? I'll go to High School. Does anybody want to buy a lead pencil? I'll wrestle anybody in the crowd for five dollars. Well, unless somebody is going to do some more bidding, I might as well quit. What's the matter with you people? Can't you visualize bargains? Don't you want to make some money? I'll try one more lot, and if I don't dispose of this one, I'm going to fold up. Do you get me? Now we're going to take lot #26, the star lot of the whole proceedings, right where that tree stump is overlooking the ocean front. This is one of the finest sites in Florida and now somebody make me an offer and get hot! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Two hundred dollars. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Three hundred dollars. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Three hundred dollars -- who'll say four? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Four hundred dollars. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Five hundred dollars. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Who'll say six hundred? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Eight hundred dollars. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Now there's a gentleman with vision and a nice haircut. Who'll say a thousand? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s One thousand dollars. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s There's a gentleman with double vision and a better haircut. Who'll say eleven hundred? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Eleven hundred dollars. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s There's a gentleman with stigmatism. Who'll say twelve? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Twelve hundred dollars. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Twel -- come on -- who'll say thirteen? Come on, thirteen. Twelve once, twelve twice, sold to Mr. Adams for twelve hundred dollars. And a mighty fine piece of property you get there, buddy. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Bob, you've got it. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s What's happened? I protest against that. I didn't have a chance to bid. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Young man, I want you to understand I don't discriminate. You had the same chance as everybody else. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Mr. Hammer -- Mr. Hammer, I've been robbed. My necklace, in your Hotel --- Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s -- Oh, Mother --- Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s -- It is worth a hundred thousand dollars. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Was it valuable? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Was it valuable? I'll give a thousand dollars reward for its return! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Do you hear that? This little lady had lost a diamond necklace, worth a hundred thousand dollars and she offers a thousand dollars reward for its return. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Two thousand --- Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Sold for two thousand dollars. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Stand back everybody, I'll take charge of this! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
End of Reel VI
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/ch/
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s All you people get back and give us plenty of room and keep quiet. Cut that out! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s What-a-th-matter? Did he hurt you? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s No-a-push-boy. Come on -- come on --All-a-right-stop that. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Start a fight, will you! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Mr. Hammer, what's the matter with him? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I don't know where he's from; he hasn't any license on. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s What is it? What? Yes -- that's it! That's it. You dear man. Oh, I'm so happy. I must kiss you again. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s So that's it. I saw you in that room last night, grabbing off stuff for the reward, eh? Now then, you come clean. Say let go of that. How did you know the necklace was there? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Oh, officer, may I make a suggestion? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s What is it? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Isn't it possible that the gentleman who just bought this lot may know something about it? Why was he so anxious to buy it? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s How about it, you? Why did you buy this lot? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s None of your business. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s He's a desperate character. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Oh, mother, he isn't! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Polly! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Whenever a young fellow shuts up and won't say anything, I've noticed it's generally on account of a woman. Who is she? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s None of your business. I won't say a word. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s You won't say anything -- this guy is letting on to be a dummy and this bird -- you can't understand when he does talk. Is there anybody here who will talk. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I will, but I can't think of anything. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Well, if you won't tell me about it, you'll tell somebody else. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Here -- wait a minute -- do you mean to say that --- Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s That's enough. Come on. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Oh, no please, please don't take him --- Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s -- What --- Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s -- I didn't want you to steal it, Bob. I'd no idea you'd do it. Oh, I feel awful. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s What're you talking about? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Bob, what does he mean? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Polly! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s So, that's it. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Oh, it's all my fault. I'd no idea he'd think that I meant it. Bob, I didn't mean you to do it, really....I just meant if you could give me one like it. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Wait a minute! Are you accusing me of taking Mrs. Potter's necklace? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Why I'm taking all the blame myself. I was joking and you took me seriously. Bob, last night when you told me you'd taken it, I just couldn't believe it. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Told you I'd taken what? Why, Polly, she's out of her mind! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s It sounds quite plausible to me. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Mother! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s He didn't know what he was doing; I begged him to take it back. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Say, I'm not going to stand for any more of this. Why the whole thing is ridiculous. It's absurd. Do you people really think for one moment that -- Oh, I don't care what you think, any of you. Polly, you know it's a lie, don't you? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s It was just a harmless flirtation and then he lost his head --- Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Don't you know it's a lie? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Why, of course I do. You don't think I'd believe a story like that, do you? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Polly! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Mother, I don't believe it. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Mr. Adams, I must ask you never to speak to my daughter again. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Mrs. Potter...I --- Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Come on, young fellow. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Bob, I'm going with you. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s You stay here. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Yes, Polly, you stay here. It's only for a little while. Why, the whole thing's ridiculous. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Are you ready? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Yes. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Oh, I'm sorry, Bob. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Don't keep it up any longer -- all right. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I'll have a confession out of him in half an hour. Come on. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Bob. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Will you come back here? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Now then we'll take lot No. 27. I've been so upset in disposing of these other lots that I'm going to give a half a pound of tea with every lot I sell from now on --- Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s There's only one way to wipe out this disgrace. You must make people forget that you ever knew this young man. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Mother! What are you saying? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s You see what's come of your way. Now, I'm going to have mine. Mr. Yates --- Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Yes, Mrs. Potter. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s My daughter has reconsidered her answer to you. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Mother --- Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Your engagement will be announced tonight. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s That's wonderful, Polly! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I shall give a dinner at the hotel. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s A dinner -- a dinner! You want the thirty or forty cent dinner? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s You may invite everyone. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s It's fifty with jello and oh, how you can jello. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s In honor of the engagement of my daughter to Mr. Harvey Yates. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Let me be the last to congratulate you and you too. I'm sure you'll have a very beautiful wedding with this. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Coming Polly? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s In a minute. Please, go ahead. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Why, what's the matter, dear? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Nothing. Please go. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s All right. I'll wait for you. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
*******
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s You got the key? That'sa fine. Hey, wait. Wait. Look I get-a-saw. Now, you get-a-something. See, and we get-a Bob out. Hurry up. Bob! Hey, Bob! Hey, Bob! How-d-you-do? Ha. Ha. Ha. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s What are you doing here? I didn't now, they allowed visitors. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I am-a no veesetor. We come to get you out. We got-a be queek, too! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Oh, thanks very much, but you shouldn't have bothered. I might as well stay here as any other place. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s You've got-a come out. Polly, she wants you. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Polly wants me? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s She got-a have you because tonight she's going to be engaged. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Going to be engaged? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Yes. Gonna be married Mrs. Potter she's going to give a big engagement dinner. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Wh -- to whom? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s To Polly -- Yates and Polly. Everybody's going to be there. You, too. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Polly's going to marry Yates? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s That's a right. That's a right. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Come on. Let me out of here. Get me out of here, quick. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Wait. Wait. We get you out. Hurry up. Quiet. Queeck, hush. Queeck. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s No thanks very much. I don't want anything to eat. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s All a right. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Not at a time like this. Come on. Get me out of here. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s What's a matter? What-a you do? Break in the lock? Come on. Unlock. Come on. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Stop fighting, boys. Stop fighting. This is no time to fight. Come on. Hurry up. Get me out of here quick. Aw -- come on. Hurry. Hurry. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Come on, hurry up, Bob. We get you away. Come on. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
End of Reel VII
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/ch/
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Is that so? Well, I'll attend to that. Boy, it has been reported to me that there's a poker game going on in Room Number Four-twenty. You go up there and knock on the door, and see if you can get me a seat. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Yes, sir. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Template:Parenthetical
Me? I'll be right over. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s All right, Bob, the coast is clear. Nobody's around. Here boss, we got him, we got him all right. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Are you out on parole? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s These two gentlemen helped to get me out. I'm ever so much obliged to you, Mr. Hammer. They've told me what you did and I can't begin to thank you. It was awful nice of you to get me out. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s That's all right. Maybe you'll do as much for me sometime. Well adabaddache.. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Adabadache.
Why that's polygamy. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Believe me. It's no fun being in jail. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Jail's no place for a young fellow. There's no advancement. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s But seriously Mr. Hammer, you know that story of Penelope's was a lie. Don't you? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s My boy, it's silly to worry, isn't it? You're gone today and here tomorrow. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s But, Mr. Hammer, you know it was a lie. How am I going to prove it? What is it?
"Silent Red wanted by the police."
What's going on here?
Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Everything seems to be dropping from on high. Well, I hope I still got my underwear on. You come here with that? I've felt kinda flimsy, Bob. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Yes sir. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Go upstairs and count the rooms. I think the third floor's missing. I'll put this stuff here until I get ready to go upstairs. Wait just a moment. Blackstone Hotel, Chicago, Statler Hotel, Cleveland. Those are mine. Can you imagine that? More, more papers than any man I've ever seen! Granada Road - Cocanut Road. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Gre-Granada Road. Cocoanut Ro- Granada Road! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Hey, if you get it twice, you are allowed to keep it. Ha ha. Get away with that, will you? You can beat that but you can't tie it. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Granada Road. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Don't, don't, don't talk. He'll take the words right out of your mouth. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Grana -- Granada -- Cocoanut Road. Hollow stump -- jewels. Tell me, where did you find this? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s That's a good guy you picked to ask. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Where did you find this? Mr. Hammer, whoever drew this knows something about this robbery. Look!
Ballet dancing, and Polly sings chorus of "Skies Will All Be Blue." Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Oh, Penelope, so good of you to come. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Thanks so much, Mrs. Potter. Oh, isn't it lovely. You're a lucky boy, Harvey. I know the party is going to be a great success. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I hope so. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Hello, Penelope. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Oh, hello. I didn't know that you were going to be here. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Anywhere that you are. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s How do you do? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s How do you do? Has Mr. Hammer arrived yet? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s No -- he'll be here directly. Mr. Hammer, your costume is wonderful. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s This costume has been condemned by Good Housekeeping. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I love the color scheme. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s That isn't a scheme, It's a conspiracy. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Senor Chico Joseph, Maria, Accunia, Count de Elsinore. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s On Track Twenty-five. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Ah, Belle Signora ---
Template:Parenthetical Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Ha ha ha. Listen, Count, as soon as the guests leave, I want you to take out the ashes. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Ah -- so long. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s His Excellency, the Ambassador from San Rafael, Senor Don Jose Harapano. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Hey -- nix on that stuff! "Shure, it was just a breath of ould Ireland, I can see me old mither going down the path. And I can see me father. Oh, oh, oh, "Pop goes the weasel." There goes the weasel, now. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I'm so glad you came, Mr. Hennessy. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s That's all right, Madam. At a party like this, you've got to have the law around. Now a nice woman like you needs protection and I'm here to see that you get it. There's a couple of shady characters around here that I'm going to keep my eye on. What's that you gave him? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I no gave him nothing. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Gimme that. Gimme that, I tell you!
Who got my shirt? What's become of my shirt? I want my shirt. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Hey, you've lost your shirt. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Yes. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Can you describe your shirt? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s What's that? Come here. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Now, look, this cross marks the spot where the shirt was last seen. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Cut that out! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Now, remain quiet, will you, please? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Just as I thought. You birds are in on this thing and you're all trying to keep me from finding my shirt. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s That's a lie. You whelp! Whelp, whelp, whelp, whelp, whelp, whelp, whelp! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I want my shirt! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s He wants his shirt! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I want my shirt! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s He wants his shirt! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
End of Reel Eight
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/ch/
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s /po// I want my shirt, I want my shirt, I can't be happy without my shirt.
He wants his shirt, he wants his shirt, He can't be happy without his shirt.
I don't want food, I don't want drink, Because my feelings are more than hurt.
He don't want food, he don't want drink, He don't want anything except his shirt.
Except his shirt.
How can a man be happy without his shirt?
Without his shirt.
How, won't you tell me how Can a fellow flirt?
Without his shirt.
How can a fellow make love to a pretty skirt
Without his shirt?
Oh, life is not worth living without his shirt.
Tell us about it. Tell us about it.
Listen, Ah -- ah -- won't you listen? Ah -- aah. To a story. It's a shirt tail. Just a shirt tail. It's the tail -- the tail of a shirt. I want my shirt. He wants his shirt. I want my shirt. He wants his shirt. Not his hat, not his tie, not his shoes, Covered up with dirt, Not his coat, not his vest, not his pants, But he wants his shirt.
He wants his shirt, he wants his shirt. He won't be happy till he gets his shirt. He wants his shirt. He wants his shirt. He won't be happy till he gets his shirt.
He's got it. He's got it. He's got it.
/foot// Template:Theatrical dialogue/e //foot/
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/head// Template:Theatrical dialogue/s //head/
I've got my shirt, Thank God, I've got my shirt. I've got my shirt -- I've got my shirt. You'll never know how deeply I was hurt. I thought that I'd lost my shirt. It was given me by my brother, Bert.
His brother, Bert, That's why I love this shirt. The beautiful shirt. My shirt, The wonderful shirt. The shirt -- now that I've found my shirt. //po/ Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s And now, friends, now that we have found Hennessey's shirt, would you all mind looking for a collar button that I lost here, size 13 1/2? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s And now, ladies and gentlemen, if you will all find places at the table, we will have a short entertainment before --- Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s How about you and I giving this joint the air and indulging in some snappy necking? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s What?...Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. Hammer will now act as Master of Ceremonies. Mr. Hammer. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Ladies and gentlemen.... Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Two hundred dollars. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s In behalf of the Rotary Club of Minneapolis, I want to take this occasion of welcoming you to Waukegan -- no, no, I mean in recognition of my many years of service with the railroad, you have presented me with these ties -- and that of course reminds me of the story of the Irishman. Ha-ha-ha. That's so -- so
/foot// Template:Theatrical dialogue/e //foot/
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/head// Template:Theatrical dialogue/s //head/
funny -- I wish I could think of it. "Oft in the stilly night, the trembling of a leaf can be heard, sighing thru the trees and the babbling brook as it wends its way onward, babbling and --- Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Well, I got rid of one, and one like that is worth three ordinary ones. Now, where was I? Oh, yes, on this chair. That's right. Western cattle opened at fifteen and a quarter. Yearlings and spring veal held a firm tone. Eggs were a little better on a full market, and a fresh shipment of hogs were received this morning. Well, my father and mother talked it over and they finally moved to New York and they took a little house in the Bronx and it was in that little house that Abraham Lincoln was born, much to my father's surprise, and that, boys and girls, was the beginning of the Lincoln Highway. And now, friends, in view of the fact that Polly's engagement is being celebrated here tonight, so to speak, I think that a few words from her mother would be revolting. I now take great pleasure in presenting -- the well-preserved and partially pickled Mrs. Potter. Come on, now, give the little girl a big hand. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Speech!! Speech!! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s My good friends, if I could only tell you how rosy hued everything seems to me tonight -- as I look into your faces, they are all lit with gay laughter and the whole world and everything in it, is bathed in a soft glowing luminous haze. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s The old gal's stewed to the eyebrows. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s And now, I want to wish you all a most enjoyable evening. As for myself, I'm sad. I simply can't go any further. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I'll get off with you. Now friends, I want to take great pleasure in presenting to you the groom, Mr. Yates, Mr. Harvey Yates. Good evening radio fans, we are now back in the studio, stand by for your station announcer. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s My dear, dear friends, I really don't know what to say.... Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Well, shut up. What a splendid suggestion! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I feel highly honored. But, I'm afraid I'm not much of a speech maker. Nevertheless, Mr. Hammer, it was very nice of you to call on me. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Oh, you must call on me sometime, and see my Flower Beds. I want you to see my pansies. I've got long pansies and short pansies. I was just thinking that next spring I want to get early bloomers. As I was just about to say, there seems to be a steady stream flying in and out over there. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I wouldn't dream of taking up any more of your time. I merely wanted to thank you all, and as I said before, I hadn't intended to make a speech at all. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Well, you have certainly succeeded. Now friends, let's proceed. Now what's the matter with him? That's Good Gulf Gas. I'm so sorry. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Hey, hey, don't do this. Come on and have some home brew. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Mr. Hammer, Mr. Hammer, can't you do something? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I don't...plenty.... Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s But this is awful. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Now, ladies and gentlemen, the first musical number that we intend to portray will be the beginning and the ending of a very.... Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
End of Reel IX
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s We're going to have music -- music -- we're going to have music. Now the first musical number on the program will be a piccolo solo, which we will skip. And the second number, Senor Pastrani, the Lithuanian pianist. The Senor for his first number will play "A Cup of Coffee, A Sandwich and You" from the opera, Aida. Senor, allow me to assist you to the di-et. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s What is the first number? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Number One. And now friends, I want to present to you a charming little lady...down in front...hey, sit down...the little lady who is to become Mrs. Harvey Yates -- over my dead body! Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I know I have the sincere wishes of all my friends and can only tell you how much I do appreciate it. I think I can honestly say this is about the happiest moment of my life. Look what I have here! It's a little engagement present just given me by Mr. Yates. He wrote it just now, but he wrote another yesterday when the necklace was stolen. They are both in his own handwriting. Let me read it to you -- it shows how to get to Cocoanut Manor and that tree stump and says "Hollow stump -- jewels." Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s I don't believe it. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s See for yourself. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Say, Yates has gone. I gave him a check for a hundred thousand dollars this morning. It's a good thing it was my personal check. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Oh, Mr. Hammer -- there's a man downstairs wants to see you with a black moustache. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
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Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Tell him I have got one. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s But I should think you'd want to see him. His name is Mr. John W. Berryman. He has just accepted my architectural plans for the development of Cocoanut Manor. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Well, happy days, old boy. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Thank you, thank you. He also wants to know if you could accommodate four hundred guests over the weekend. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Now mother, you must admit you were mistaken. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Mr. Adams, how could you ever forgive me? Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Oh, please -- Mrs. Potter. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Ladies and gentlemen -- you are all invited to attend the wedding of my daughter. The wedding will take place exactly as planned, i.e., with the exception of a slight change. She will be married to Mr. Robert Adams. Template:Theatrical dialogue/e
Template:Theatrical dialogue/s Hooray!
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The End