Watty and May, or, The Wife Reclaimed/John Thomson's Cart
JOHN THOMSON'S CART.
"We're a' John Tamson's bairns"—that's an old Scotch sayin', and a true yin. I ken John Tamson week He had strapping lads and lasses baith, and he lived in that part o' Glasgow that was remarkable for that march of Sir William Wallace to attack the English General Percy. Ye'll be spiering whare's that? Weel, it's just the Burnt Burns. His next door neighbour was yin Will Galbraith, a coal carter, like himsel'. So yae nicht, after a hard day's wark, he meets Will,—"Hech, Will, there's a gay cauld kind o a nicht. Hae ye ony objections to a dram?" "No," quo' Will, "where will ye gang?" "We'll just gang o'er to Lucy Sourkaill's." Weel, they sat down, and they had yae dram after anither, till "the proper corrective that aften parts gude company" gar'd them rise—that's the bottom o' loom pouch. "Hech," says John, "I'll hae to be up before the sparrows, to gie wa' for a cart o' coals." Weel he was as guide's his word; he wakened frae the side o' Mrs. Tamson, and yokes the horse geyan and canny, and he's no lang till he's through Camlachie toll. But, faith, in that quiet o' the road between Camlachie and Parkhead, John fa's asleep. But wha the devil should come by, but Bauldy Baird, and he's a gay gleg kind o' a chiel—he disna like to let a gude opportunity slip out o' his hands. So he unyoked John's horse geyan canny, and he sets down the cart as canny. It happened to be Ru'glen Fair morning, and he kent weel whare he was taking his bargain till; so he left John driving his pigs to the market geyan comfortable. But as John suddenly fell asleep, he as suddenly wakened, and looking up wi' his ae e'e half opened, he looks first to the tae side o' the cart, and syne to the tither, and he cries, "Gor, I canna understan' the meaning o' this at a'. As the Laird M'Nab said when he cam' in at the winning post at Perth races—'By the Lord, this is me now;' but I canna' exclaim wi' the Laird M 'Nab,—for, by my faith, this is no me! no me!—but there's yea thing I can see, that if I'm John Tamson, I've lost a horse; but if I'm no John Tamson, I've found a cart. But how will I find out this? I'll just awa' hame to the wife, for she settles a' my accounts; she'll settle this yin tae." Weel, awa' hame he comes, geyan briskly, and he's no lang till he's at his ain door; and he cries out, "Am I John Tamson?" Mrs. Tamson puts o'er her hand to find for honest John,—"Na, na," quo' she, "ye're no John Tamson, he's awa' to his wark twa or three hours syne." "Od, I'm glad o' that," quo' he, "for if I had been John Tamson, I would have lost a horse; but, as I'm no John Tamson, lord, I've found a cart!"