Watty and May, or, The Wife Reclaimed/Watty and Meg
For other versions of this work, see Watty and Meg.
Watty and Meg.
Keen the frosty winds were blowingDeep the snaw had wreathed the ploughs,Watty, wearied a' day sawing,Daunert down to Mungo Blues'.
Dryster Jock was sitting cracking,Wi' Pate Thamson o' the Hill,"Come awa'," quo Johnny, "Watty!Haith we'se hae anither gill."
Watty glad to see Jock Jabos,And sae mony neibours roun';Kicket frae his shoon the snawba's,Syne ayont the fire sat down.
Owre a board wi' bannocks heapet,Cheese, and stoups, and glasses stood;Some were roaring, ithers sleepit,Ithers quietly chewt their cude.
Jock was selling Pate some tallow,A' the rest the a racket hel',A' but Watty, wha, poor fellow,Sat and smocket by himsel'
Mungo filled him up a toothfu',Drank his health and Meg's in ane,Watty, puffing out a mouthfu'.Pledged him wi' a dreary groan.
"What's the matter, Watty, wi' you?Trouth your chasts are fa'in in!Something's wrang—I'm vexed to see you—Gudesake! but ye're desperate thin!"
"Ay," quo' Watty, "things are altered,But its past redemption now,L——d! I wish I had been halteredWhen I married Maggy Howe!
I've been poor, and vexed, and raggy,Tried wi' troubles no that sma';Them I bore—but marrying Maggy,Laid the cap-stane o' them a'.
Night and day she's ever yelping,Wi' the weans she ne'er can gree,When she's tired wi' perfect skelping,Then she flees like fire on me.
See ye, Mungo! when she'll clash on,Wi' her everlasting clack,Whiles I've had my neive in passion,Lifted up to break her back!"
"Oh, for gudesake, keep frae cuffets,"Mungo shook his head and said,"Weel I ken what sort a life it's;Ken ye, Watty, what I did?
After Bess and I were kippled,Soon she grew like ony bear,Brack' my shins, and when I tippled,Harl't out my very hair.
For a wee I quietly knuckled,But whan naething would prevail,Up my claes and cash I buckled,Bess, for ever fare-ye-weel.
Then her din grew less and less aye,Haith I gart her change her tune,Now a better wife than Bessy,Never slept in leather shoon.
Try this, Watty—-When you see herRaging like a roaring flood,Swear that moment that ye'll lea' her,That's the way to keep her good."
Laughing, sangs, and lasses' skirls,Echoed now out-through the roof,"Done!" quo' Pate, and syne his erlsNailed the Dryster's wauked loof.
In the thrang of stories telling,Shaking hauns, and ither cheer,Faith! a chap comes on the hallan,"Mungo, is our Watty here?"
Maggy's weel kent tongue and hurry,Darted through him like a knife,Up the door flew—-like a furyIn came Watty's scaul'ing wife.
"Nasty, gude-for-naething being!O ye snuffy, drucken sow!Bringing wife and weans to ruin,Drinking here wi' sic a crew!
Devil nor your legs were broken,Sic a life nae flesh endures,Toiling like a slave to slokenYou, ye dyvor, and your whores.
Rise, ye drucken beast o' Bethel,Drink's your nicht and day's desire:Rise, this precious hour, or faith I'llFling your whiskey i' the fire.
Watty heard her tongue unhallowed,Pay'd his groat wi' little din,Left the house, while Maggy fallowed,Flyting a' the road behin'.
Fowk frae every door came lamping,Maggy curst them ane and a';Clappet wi' her hands, and stamping,Lost her bauchles i' the sna'
Hame, at length, she turned the gavel,Wi' a face as white's a clout,Raging like a very devil,Kicking stools and chairs about.
"Ye'll sit wi' your limmers round you,Hang you, Sir! I'll be your death;Little hauds my hands, confound you,But I'll cleave you to the teeth."
Watty, wha, 'midst this oration,Eyed her whiles, but durstna speak,Sat like patient Resignation,Trembling by the ingle cheek.
Sad his wee drap brose he sippet,Maggy's tongue gaed like a bell,Quietly to his bed he slippet,Sighing aften to himsel'.
"Nane are free frae some vexation,Ilk ane has his ills to drce;But through a' the hale creation,Is a mortal vexed like me?"
A night lang he row'd and gaunted,Sleep or rest he couldna' tak',Maggy aft wi' horror haunted,Mum'ling started at his back.
Soon as o'er the morning peepit,Up raise Watty, waefu' chiel,Kist his weanies while they sleepit,Waukened Meg, and sought fareweel.
"Fareweel, Meg!—and, O! may Heaven,Keep ye aye within his care:Watty's heart ye've lang been grievin',Now he'll never fash ye mair.
Happy cou'd I been beside you,Happy, baith at morn and e'en:A' the ills did e'er betide you,Watty aye turned out your frien'.
But you ever like to see meVexed and sighing, late and air:Farewell, Meg! I've sworn to lea' thee,So thou'll never see me mair.
Meg, a sabbing, sae to lose him,Sic a change had never wist,Held his hand close to her bosom,While her heart was like to burst.
"O my Watty, will you lea' me,Frien'less, helpless, to despair?O! for this aye ae time forgi'e me:Never will I vex you mair."
"Ay! ye've aft said that, and broken,A' your vows ten times a-week,No, No, Meg! see, there's a tokenGlittering on my bonnet cheek.
Owre the seas I march this morning,Listed, tested, sworn and a'Forced by your confounded girning—Farewell, Meg! for I'm awa'."
Then poor Maggy's tears and clamourGushed afresh, and louder grew,While the weans, wi' mournfu' yamour,Round their sabbing mither flew.
"Through the yirth I'll waunner wi' you—Stay, O Watty! stay at hame;Here, upon my knees, I'll gie youOny vow ye like to name.
See your poor young lammies pleadin'Will ye gang and break our heart?No a house to put our head in,No a friend to take our part!"
Ilka word came like a bullet,Watty's heart begoud to shake;On a kist he laid his wallet,Dighted baith his een and spake.
'If ance mair I cou'd by writing,Lea' the sogers and stay still,Wad ye swear to drap your flyting?""Yes, O Watty, yes, I will."
"Then," quo Watty, "mind, be honestAye to keep your temper strive;Gin you break this dreadfu' promise,Never mair expect to thrive.
Marget Howe, this hour ye solemnSwear by everything that's gude,Ne'er again your spouse to scaul' him,While life warms your heart and blood.
That ye'll ne'er in Mungo's seek me,Ne'er put drucken to my name,Never out at e'ening steek me,Never gloom when I come hame.
That ye'll ne'er, like Bessy Miller,Kick my shins or rug my hair,Lastly, I'm to keep the siller;This upon your soul you swear?"
"O—h!" quo' Meg; "aweel," quo' Watty"Farewell! faith I'll try the seas:""O stand still," quo' Meg and grat aye;"Ony, ony way ye please."
Maggy syne, because he prest her,Swore to a' thing owre again:Watty lap, and danced, and kist her;Wow! but he was wondrous fain.
Down he threw his staff victorious;Aff gaed bonnet, claes and shoon;Syne below the blankets, glorious,Held anither Hinny-Moon!