What They Say in New England/Warts

by Clifton Johnson

Warts
. .

Have you warts? Rub them all with a bean, put the bean in an envelope, and bury it. When the bean sprouts, the warts will be gone.

To cure a wart, pick it, and let a drop of blood from it fall on a penny; throw the penny away, and the person who picks it up will have the wart.

If you have conscientious scruples about making other people carry your warts, you can relieve yourself as follows: Break off a milkweed, rub the milk on the wart, and bury the milkweed, When it decays, the wart will disappear. Others say that the juice of the milkweed will make you have warts. To cure a wart, rub it with a kernel of corn. Then throw the corn out in the dooryard, and if a chicken picks it up and eats it the wart will disappear.

Another way is to steal a piece of pork to rub the wart with. To do this so that its use will be effective, you must visit a neighbor’s cellar, and abstract the meat from his pork-barrel without his being aware of it.

To make your warts go off, rub them with sassafras.

To cure a wart, rub it with a corn, bore a hole in a tree, put the corn in the hole, and then plug it in. Your wart will make haste to leave you when you have done this.

Put vinegar on a cent, and let it corrode. Then put the vinegar on your wart, and the wart will leave.

Does that wart still trouble you? Find a snail, rub the wart with it, and throw the snail away. When the snail dries up and withers into nothing, the wart will have gone too.

There are many ways recommended for getting rid of warts, but very few ways are suggested by which one can acquire them, One sure method to get warts is to wash your hands in water that eggs have been boiled in.

If you have a wart you wish to rid yourself of, wait until you see some one riding on a white horse. Then put your finger on the wart, look at the rider and say, “I wish you had my wart—I wish you had my wart.” Then he will have it, and you won't.

You can cure your wart if you will steal a dishcloth, rub the wart with it, and then bury the dishcloth.

To get rid of a wart, steal a bean, split it, rub the halves on the wart, and throw them over your shoulder. At the same time say, “Go, wart,” and the wart will leave you.

Another way is to do the halves of the bean up, after you have rubbed the wart with them, in a pretty package, and put it in a likely place for some one to pick up. The person who unties the package will have the wart, which at the same time will leave you.

Still another way that is equally good is to sell your warts. A conversation like the following can be held with a friend:

Friend: Do you want to sell your warts?

Self: Yes.

Friend: Well, I’ll buy them.

Self: How much will you give?

Friend: Five cents.

Self: All right; you can have ’em.

No more need be said, and no money need be paid. The warts know they are fixed when they hear such a conversation, and they make haste to leave.

Handle a toad, and you will have warts.

To cure a wart, rub a piece of raw meat on it, and throw the meat into the well, drain, or other place where it will decay quickly. Tell no one; and when the meat has decayed, the wart will have disappeared.

A wart can be charmed away in like manner by the use of a bean instead of the meat. “I know that’s so, because I’ve tried it myself. The wart went off. I don’t care whether any one believes it or not—it’s so!”

Some claim it is best, after rubbing your warts with the bean, to write a polite note to the warts, requesting them to go ta somebody else, whose name you give. Wrap the bean in the note, and throw the whole into the well. The warts will presently leave you, and appear on that other person.

A certain young man was afflicted with warts. Indeed, none of his acquaintance was encumbered to any like degree. One day he told the tale of his warts to a friend who had been a Shaker. This friend had, when in the Shaker community, formed an attachment for a young Shakeress, who had a like fondness for him. Anything beyond a brotherly and sisterly affection was not countenanced among the Shakers, and the two ran away. Now, this young man whose life had been thus romantic told David, his warty friend, that he would cure his warts.

Said he, “How many warts have you? Count them up, and be sure you don‘t miss any.”

David made a careful enumeration, and found fourteen.

“Very well,” said the ex-Shaker; “now you go out and find fourteen pebbles, and bring them in.”

David brought the pebbles.

“Put them in a row,” commanded his adviser. “Now take the first, and rub it on one of your warts. Remember which one you rub it on. Now you can throw the pebble out of the door, and try the next one.”

In this manner he had David rub each wart with one of the pebbles till the last one had been attended to.

“Now,” the ex-Shaker concluded, “all you’ve got to do is not to think of your warts for two weeks, and at the end of that time they will all be gone;” and he went his way.

David determined to follow the advice given him; but the harder he tried not to think of his warts, the more they were on his mind. At the end of two weeks, he had still his full quota, and he felt sure the cure was all a hoax. He thought no more of the matter for a fortnight or over. Then he looked for his warts, and lo! they were all gone!

“Did you ever hear of getting rid of warts by swapping ‘em off onto some one? That’s about as good a way as there is. I had a boy workin’ for me that had over thirty of ’em, and he sold ‘em all for a little piece of a pencil not half an inch long. Of course nobody don’t want your warts; but you keep stumpin’ ’em for a trade, till finally they make you an offer. It don’t matter what it is, even if it ain’t more’n a little bit of a chip—you take the offer, and the warts ‘ll leave you and come on that other fellow. I’ve known ever so many doin’ that.”

You can get rid of your warts in this way. Count them, and tie as many knots in a string as there are warts, and bury the string. Dig the string up once a week until the time comes when it has so decayed you cannot find it any more. Then you may be sure your warts will have disappeared.

If you prefer, you can use a stick instead of a string. Cut a notch in it for each wart, bury it, and as the stick decays, and the notches disappear, your warts will do likewise.

It is said there used to live a woman in Savoy, Mass., who could “talk a person’s warts away.”