Women Under Polygamy/Chapter 21

by Walter Matthew Gallichan

CHAPTER XXI

THE WOMEN OF PERSIA

The realm of the Shah is a reputed paradise for women. There is probably less feminine discontent in Persia than in any other country, East or West. It has often been said that where polygamy prevails women have few liberties and little influence. In this book I have adduced sufficient evidence to prove that such a view often arises from hasty preconception and from the prejudice of the Western mind against legal plural marriage and sanctioned concubinage.

Polygamy in Persia does not seem oppressive towards women, for they exercise much social and domestic power. Within the limits of their traditions, and in accord with their personal aspirations, the women of Persia, among the upper classes, are cultured, and even advanced, from the Oriental point of view.

Ancient Persian romances and poetry testify to the esteem and devotion shown by men to wives and lovers; and the old histories tell of noble women who have led

GEORGIAN DANCING GIRLS.

GEORGIAN DANCING GIRLS.

armies to victory. The most passionate of love poems have been written by Persians. Mothers in Persia are greatly honoured, and exert potent sway in the family; and grandmothers are even more venerated.^[1] Mr. W. S. Landor, in "Across Coveted Lands," says that women among the Persians have great influence over men, both in political and commercial affairs. He adds that the wives are almost always the intimate friends and counsellors of their husbands. The interests in married life are mutual.

Before examining the marriage customs and social position of Persian women, let us inquire concerning the physical traits of these much-loved and eloquently-lauded houris. Dr. C. J. Wills, who lived for many years among the people of Persia, describes the women as generally dark, with full-moon faces, and fine eyes.^[2] Their long hair is plaited, and often stained red, a colour much admired by the Persians, but not by most Orientals. Cosmetics and pigments for the cheeks are used somewhat freely, and the arch of the eyebrows is accentuated.

Mr. W. S. Landor^[3] says that the women are of fair height, and rather inclined to stoutness of the figure. Many are fair-skinned, and all have beautiful and expressive eyes, with arched eyebrows.

The following is an appraisement of Persian loveliness by Shereef-Eddin Romi, quoted by Havelock Ellis^[4]:—

 

"A Persian treatise on the figurative terms relating to beauty shows that the hair should be black, abundant, and wavy, the eyebrows dark and arched. The eyelashes also must be dark, and like arrows from the bow of the eyebrows. There is, however, no insistence on the blackness of the eyes. We hear of four varieties of eye: the dark grey eye (or narcissus eye); the narrow elongated eye of Turkish beauties; the languishing or love-intoxicated eye; and the wine-coloured eye. Much stress is laid on the quality of brilliancy. The face is sometimes described as brown, but more especially as white and rosy. There are many references to the down on the lips which is described as greenish (sometimes bluish) and compared to herbage. This down and that on the cheeks and the stray hairs near the ears were regarded as very great beauties. A beauty spot on the chin, cheek or elsewhere were also greatly admired and evoked many poetic comparisons. The mouth must be very small. In stature a woman must be tall and erect, like the Cyprus or the maritime pine. While the Arabs admired the rosiness of the legs and thighs, the Persians insisted on white legs and compared them to silver and crystal."

 

The cultivation of physical beauty is an important part of a Persian girl's education, and the standard of bodily perfection is somewhat exacting. Nevertheless, as several travellers testify, facial loveliness and symmetry of form are not the sole attractions. Very frequently a plain woman, possessed of sprightliness and amiability, is more cherished by a husband than the veritable belle who lacks humour and intelligence. The favourite wife is often unattractive in features and ungainly in body.

Bathing is an elaborate ritual and an ancient institution of the country. Prolonged and constant ablutions are, as we have seen, a common practice in most Mohammedan communities. In Persia women are as much addicted to hot bathing as the Turkish women. The bath-house is like a club, a place of social resort; and women spend several hours, or the greater part of the day, steeping themselves in hot water, undergoing massage and friction, and lounging on divans in warm chambers. The bath is a principal rendezvous for the women of fashion in the higher classes.

Bathing is an almost painful process in Persia and Afghanistan, and foreigners shrink from the immersion in scalding water, the hot douches, and the drastic pounding and pinching of the flesh. The operation leaves those unaccustomed to it in a state of limp enervation.

Persian ladies demand of their husbands sufficient pin-money to pay for frequent baths, and a refusal to comply would be regarded as unkindness.^[5] In the bathing-houses women associate freely; they gossip, eat sweetmeats, and smoke. One of the chief diversions is drawing figures and devices upon the body with a kind of pencil. Hours are spent in this recreation. The moon, the stars, shapes of animals and birds, and the forms of trees are drawn on the bosom and the upper part of the abdomen.^[6]

Music, singing and dancing are favourite amusements of Persian women. Many of them excel in relating romances of love and adventure, and in reciting the old poems and amorous songs. There is much gaiety and childish light-heartedness among the women of the harems.

Dr. C. J. Wills says that Persian women are virtuous, economical, and cleanly in their persons and in the home. They "do all they can to make home happy," and as a consequence the wife is idolised by her husband and adored by her children.^[7] Their chief faults are, perhaps, a love of tittle-tattle, a tendency to quarrel among themselves, and jealousy. But the average family lives happily in an atmosphere of affection, and often extreme devotion.

The ritual of union is instructive, as showing the power of the wife. On the bridal night the husband is seated by the side of the bride. The right leg of the bride is placed on the left leg of the husband, and her right hand is placed upon the hand of her husband, to show that she ought always to have the upper hand of her spouse.

Mirza Abu Taleb, a Persian writer, is very explicit in laying down rules for husbands. A man is ordered to give his wife money without stint, or her colour will fade, her cheeks become as saffron, and she will languish and pine. If she dies of grief, through her husband's meanness, harsh treatment, or neglect, her blood will be on his head. In the day of judgment the woman will claim from the man that which he has failed to provide for her. Even the day-labourer must give all his wages to his wife. Very considerable laxity is allowed to Persian women in the matters of fasting, ritual, and penance. A wife must have all the enjoyments and recreations that a husband can reasonably provide for her. It is often said the women in the East are at best the spoilt playthings of men. This is scarcely true of Persian women. Their ascendency in the home, in business affairs, and, to a certain extent, in society is beyond question.

The mother in Persia has almost supreme authority, and the wife is, in many respects, more than equal with the husband.

"The glories of the bride," writes Dr. Wills, "pale in the strong rays of the mother of the son of the house." In this country, as in the East generally, the mother of the heir is especially honoured; but the highest respect is shown to all women who have borne children. The mothers direct all the fortunes of the sons. They select their wives. There is, however, free choice for the maidens. A girl can refuse a suitor three times. If she accepts him, he is bound to pay her a suitable marriage settlement. There is little or no courtship, as we understand it in the West. The lover looks at his chosen bride through an aperture in the room.

The marriage celebration is made the occasion for music, dancing, and feasting. Mr. W. S. Landor says that there is also a betrothal ceremony of a somewhat splendid character. Many guests are invited to these protracted festivities. The girl is congratulated by her relations and friends. She is decked in her loveliest garments, her hair adorned, her eyes darkened artificially. Attention is fixed almost wholly upon her; she is the queen of the hour, and little interest is shown in the bridegroom, who appears awkward and bashful.

During Dr. Wills' long stay in Persia, he only heard of one tragedy in conjugal life. Generally speaking, women in the anderuns are good friends one with another, and the trusted confidantes of their husbands and children.^[8]

Dr. Wills states that women in Persia begin to show signs of age at forty; but Mr. W. S. Landor says that the menopause does not manifest itself until about fifty.

When walking in the streets the women are closely veiled with the chudder. Social intercourse with men is restricted in this country, and such interdiction is one of the principal disabilities of women.

On the other hand, women in Persia possess many rights and a number of privileges. James Atkinson, in "Customs and Manners of the Women of Persia," refers to an ancient code in which the liberties of women are clearly defined. A woman can always attend the public bath alone. She is allowed to visit her father, brother, sister, or son when she chooses, and her husband cannot force his company upon her on such occasions. Such intrusion would be considered unpardonable rudeness. No husband is to enter his wife's apartments without her consent or invitation. A wife may entertain her friends in her own apartments, and engage musicians and dancers to delight her guests.

When a husband enters his wife's chambers he is a visitor, and he possesses no authority over her servants. Her children and her slaves obey her, and not her spouse. The Persians assert that their women have more power and liberty than the women of Europe and the West generally. This was the opinion of Mirza Abu Taleb Khan after a visit to England.

A Persian wife is permitted by custom to tease her husband, and to indulge her humours and caprices to her heart's content. She believes that her compliance must be won, and not enforced harshly. The submissive wife often loses favour in the husband's eyes; therefore the astute Persian woman cultivates the art of pique, and shows her displeasure in little spiteful speeches and acts. A dutiful husband must wait upon his wife when she is going a journey to visit her relatives or friends. After the visit he must go to escort her back to the home, and sometimes the lady refuses to accompany him. She changes her mind suddenly, and expresses her intention of remaining longer.

In that case, the husband cannot oblige her to return. He must come again and again until the recalcitrant wife decides to accompany him.

These devices to retain a husband's love by annoying him appear rather farcical; but in Persia there is a method in a wife's management of her spouse; and apparently such uncertainty and variability are accepted by some men as the proper and normal traits of women.

Westermarck quotes Dr. Polak to show that Persian wives suffer deep pain when supplanted by another woman. No doubt such jealousy is not very infrequent; but we have the authority of other writers, to whom I have referred, that on the whole the life of the anderun is peaceful, and that the women are usually good friends.

As I have said before, Professor Westermarck's disapproval of polygamy blinds him to facts which prove that there are certain domestic advantages for women in polygamous societies.

Dr. Polak declares that the love extolled by the Persian poets has "either a symbolic or a very profane meaning"; in fine, it is asserted by several authorities, cited in "The History of Human Marriage," that the Oriental peoples have no conception of the romantic love of the West.

I cannot sympathise with such special pleading. Without offering any apology whatever for plural marriage, one may expose dispassionately all sides of the question, good and evil. The prime error of the writers who champion monogamy, when describing Eastern life, is their invariable tendency to rank all Mohammedans, Hindus, and the greater number of Buddhists as polygamists. We have seen that in all the countries where plurality of wives and the maintenance of concubines are sanctioned, the great bulk of the population live in monogamy.

Surely, when one hears the personal testimony of devout Mohammedan and Hindu men and women, and that of English friends who have lived in the East, one hesitates before making such wide generalisations concerning the Oriental incapacity for psychic, or spiritual, love between the sexes. In Turkey, in India, in Burma, and in Persia love is not merely "the grossest animal desire." It is quite impossible to accept such an estimate after reading the love poetry of these nations and the records of unbiassed travellers.

Who can assert truly that the beautiful poems of conjugal love by Tagore are simple poems of sensuality? In regard to Indian love, are we to dismiss the tributes of Dr. Ananda Coomaraswamy, Miss Margaret Noble, Mrs. Steele, Laurence Hope, and a number of English men and women who have lived among the Hindu people? There is no question that ages ago, in the great civilisations of the East, the love of man for woman was associated with the deepest religious emotions.

Long before Western culture, in remote eras, married love was an idyl in Egypt, Arabia and India. Reverence was shown towards women. In the lines of an ancient Hindu poet, we find such sentiments as this:—

 

"Woman is man's better half,
Woman is man's bosom friend,
Woman is redemption's source,
From woman springs the liberator."

 

What higher praise has been bestowed upon woman? The poet sings: "Women are the friends of the solitary—they solace him with their sweet converse; like to a father, in discharge of duty, consoling as a mother in misfortune."

Mercenary association of the sexes was abhorred in ancient Persia, and regarded as an abominable sin. In modern times prostitution is somewhat on the increase in the cities, and is accompanied by the usual evils.^[9]

The teaching of chastity is explicit in the moral codes of Persia.

In one of the Sacred Books, it is stated: "This is the wickedest deed that hostile men do, when they keep girls away from marriage, and leaving them long without husbands, prevent them bearing children."

1. "In the Land of the Lion and the Sun," Dr. C. J. Wills.
2. Op. cit.
3. "Across Coveted Lands."
4. "Psychology of Sex" series, "Sexual Selection in Man," Havelock Ellis.
5. If the husband refuses to make the wife a fair allowance for baths and entertainments, she may take what money she can find in the house, and it is proper if she bites and scratches her spouse till he pays the pocket-money.
6. Porter's "Travels in Persia."
7. Op. cit.
8. "Persia as it Is," Dr. C. J. Wills.
9. Mr. W. S. Landor. Op. cit.