Women Under Polygamy/Chapter 6
CHAPTER VI
THE CULT OF WOMAN AND LOVE
Sakti, the female deity, is Woman and Love, and Motherhood. She is worshipped by the intellectual class, the scribes and the clerks. Sakti is the men's goddess among a numerous following. There are holy rites of a sexual character associated with her adoration. The word sakti signifies power and energy.
As I have said before, where women are exalted as the goddesses of religion, they usually occupy a higher status than among the worshippers of male deities. In India, therefore, notwithstanding the much-assailed institution of the zenana, women are by no means the vassals or the mere chattels of men, as we are sometimes taught to believe.
"Far from India's being the land of the uniform oppression of women," writes Miss Margaret Noble, "by a uniform method, it represents the whole cycle of feminist institutions. There is literally no theory of feminine rights and position that does not find illustration somewhere within her boundaries."
The erotic valuation of women in India is not, as it may appear at first, a simple expression of sensuousness. It is something deeper, more subtle. Love and religion are intermingled, even in the zenana.
The amours of Krishna and Radha, in the "Prem-Sagar," are said by some Occidental critics to bore with their reiterations of love-adventures, and have been described as "indecent." Probably, judged from the prurient-prudish standpoint of the West, they are so. But who shall decide? Does not the Old Testament, used in our churches, contain the most amorous of pictures in the "Song" ascribed to King Solomon?
The veil screening the face of Hindu women has been accepted as an emblem of the oppression of the sex. May it not possess a very different significance? It is true that a woman may not show her face to any man save father, brother, and husband. But the veil is, in a sense, a tribute to Woman, whose loveliness and sweetness of countenance has in it something sacred, which must not be exposed to the common gaze. No Hindu woman feels herself degraded by the practice of veiling part of her features. She would be insulted if you suggested that the veil symbolised her bondage to men.
The life behind the purdah, the thick curtain that conceals the women of the zenana from the gaze of strangers, seems to Western eyes oppressive, even degrading. A man-doctor, who calls professionally upon a lady of the zenana, feels her pulse and questions her through the curtain.
Is this imprisonment? Indian women in the mass do not think so. The rights to which religion and law entitle them are accorded duly behind the purdah. They are queens of the home, not active competitors with men in the scramble for existence. Their greatest ambition is to be women, and that ideal connotes much that the woman of the West is discarding in scornful rebellion. Spinsterhood, and "the right to live one's own life,"—the supreme consummation of a large number of revolutionary British women—make no appeal to an Indian woman. Her strongest impulses are to fulfil her womanhood, to experience love, and to bear children. That is her vocation, her ambition, and her joy.
I have repeated the testimony of English women, who discern, in the home-life of India, a perfect adjustment of the functions and responsibilities of both sexes. But there are critics, Indian as well as foreign; and we must listen to them. It is, of course, incredible that there are no malcontents among the Hindu women.
The wave of feminine revolt is sweeping steadily eastwards. It has reached Turkey, and has spread to the farther East. In another chapter I shall present a very different point of view from those of certain of my Indian friends and correspondents.
For the present, we are considering the Hindu reverence for woman as the lover, the bride, the life-giver. She is more than this. There is a sacredness, something that arouses awe, in her body, and her physical functions. To show how deep and sincere is this mingled emotion of piety and sex-love, I cannot do better than quote some lines by the greatest living Indian poet, Rabindra Nath Tagore, the winner of the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1913.
GOD AND THE ASCETIC
At midnight the would-be ascetic announced:
This is the time to give up my home and seek for God. Ah! who has held me so long in delusion here?"
God whispered, "I!" But the ears of the man were stopped.
With a baby asleep at her breast lay his wife, peacefully sleeping on one side of the bed.
The man said: "Who are ye that have fooled me so long?"
The voice said again, "They are God!" But he heard it not.
The baby cried out in its dream, nestling close to its mother.
God commanded, "Stop, fool; leave not thy home." But still he heard not.
God sighed and complained, "Why does My servant wander to seek Me, forsaking Me?"
How exquisitely the writer expresses the holiness of love and parentage.
Here is a beautiful tribute to a woman from her lover:—
HALF WOMAN AND HALF DREAM
O, woman, you are not merely the handiwork of God, but also of men; these are ever endowing you with beauty from their hearts.
Poets are weaving for you a web with threads of golden imagery; painters are giving your form ever new immortality.
The sea gives its pearls, the mines their gold, the summer gardens their flowers to deck you, to cover you, to make you more precious.
The desire of men's hearts has shed its glory over your youth.
You are one half woman and one half dream.
And here, too, is the purest expression of passion from the lips of a woman:—
TELL ME, MY LOVER
Tell me if this be all true, my lover, tell me if this be true:
Is it true that my lips are sweet, like the opening bud of the first conscious love?
Do the memories of vanished months of May linger in my limbs?
Is it true, is it true, that your love travelled alone through ages and worlds in search of me?
That when you found me at last your age-long desire found utter peace in my gentle speech and my eyes and lips and flowing hair?
Is it then true that the mystery of the infinite is written on this little forehead of mine?
Tell me, my lover, if all this be true.
The sanctity of sex is unfortunately a phrase almost without meaning in the Western world, where physical passion is often dismissed as "mere animality." Ages ago, the Oriental peoples recognised that the highest sexual morality is only compatible with grave and frank acceptance of the methods ordained by the gods for the propagation of the human species. The Christian has rarely indeed accepted the Almighty's plan in the same reverential spirit. How revolting are the conceptions of St. Bernard and most of the Fathers: "You have never seen a viler dunghill!" (i.e., than the human body) cries St. Bernard. How contemptuous and coarse is St. Odo's estimate of woman. Among the few early Christian teachers who showed sanity in this respect was Clement of Alexandria, who declared: "We should not be ashamed to name what God has not been ashamed to create."[1]
Such contempt for the body, and for the supreme function of procreation, would be deemed the gravest blasphemy by all devout Hindus and Mohammedans. "It seems never to have entered the heads of the Hindu legislators," said Sir William Jones ("Works," Vol. II., p. 311), "that anything natural could be offensively obscene, a singularity which pervades all their writings, but is no proof of the depravity of their morals."
R. Schmidt, writing on "Indian Erotics," in German, says: "Love in India, both as regards theory and practice, possesses an importance which it is impossible for us even to conceive." Quite so; the Western point of view is either prudish or prurient, usually a mixture of both.
There cannot be the least doubt, when sexual love is rightly appraised and respected as a part of the scheme of a divine ruler, or of beneficent Nature, that the relations of men and women are set upon a higher psychic level, than when passion is associated with uncleanness. Hindu culture recognised this in the earliest days. Chastity, purity, restraint, were inculcated, and periods of ascetic living were commended as beneficial discipline. But there was no shirking of the great vital questions of sex, and no abuse of processes designed by the gods.
Much of the conjugal serenity and happiness of the East is due to the heed devoted by husbands to an understanding of sex-love and the psychology of woman. Whether we approve polygamy, or denounce the practice, the truth remains that the men of the East are beloved by their wives, and that married discord is far less frequent than in the West. It is easy to attribute this fact to the subservience of women. We have seen that such subservience is far more apparent than actual. There is hardly a hint of it in the modern Hindu love-poetry.
The point to observe is that the Hindus do not contemn any phase of the impulse that unites man to woman. They cannot jeer at love, for the whole of their religious traditions forbid such profanity. To make lovers and love-making a subject for jesting is impossible.
In the "Seven Hundred Maxims of Hala " are some passages revealing the fervid and passionate nature of early Hindu love:—
"He sees nothing but her face, and she, too, is quite intoxicated by his looks. Both, satisfied with each other, act as if in the whole world there were no other woman or man."
The following maxim treats of the evanescent quality of passion:—
"Love departs when lovers are separated; it departs when they see too much of each other; it departs in consequence of malicious gossip; aye, it departs also without these causes."
On the beauty of women Hindu poets are eloquent. The Lotus Woman, the embodiment of the perfect physical ideal of feminine loveliness, is thus described in "The Kama Sutra":—
"She in whom the following signs and symptoms appear is called a Padmini: Her face is pleasing as the full moon, her body, well clothed with flesh, is as soft as Shiras or mustard flower; her skin is fine, tender, fair as the gum or lotus, never dark coloured. Her eyes are bright and beautiful as the orbs of the fawn, well cut and with reddish corners. Her bosom is hard, full, and high; she has a good neck; her nose is straight and lovely. … She walks with swan-like (more exactly flamingo-like) gait, and her voice is low and musical as the note of the Kokila bird (the Indian cuckoo). She delights in white raiment, in fine jewels, and in rich dresses. She eats little, sleeps lightly, and being as respectful and religious as she is clever and courteous, she is ever anxious to worship the gods, and to enjoy the conversation of Brahmans. Such, then, is the Padmini, or lotus-woman."
The Hindu woman is usually short, and slight in build. Her complexion is a dark brown. In Kashmir, the women are taller, and some have lighter complexions. The most statuesque forms among the women of India are said to be seen in Kashmir.
In most parts the married women have the red Kum-Kum mark painted upon the forehead.
The veil is worn in the North of India, but seldom among the women of the South. Most of the zenanas are in Bengal, Sind, Punjab, and the North generally.
In Ceylon, the women most loved for their charms have long plentiful hair, blue eyes, and curved eye-brows. The lips should be red, the teeth small. Her breasts must be small and firm; the hips wide, the limbs tapering, and the skin of the body delicate.[2]
This adoration of the beautiful features and forms of women is of religious significance in the East. Instead of the dread, and frequently the repulsion, from feminine grace and loveliness, so often expressed by the early Christian writers, the Hindus personify Woman as Beauty. Such worship is not simply the outcome of sexual desire. It is also a poetical, æsthetic valuation of the human body. It is the artist's loving appreciation of the form of man and woman, the spirit that animates Rodin when he confesses that, in his eyes, all women are beautiful.
It is true that woman makes a strong sensuous appeal to the Hindu, which he never conceals. But we must remember that "the sensual East" is also the home of the sternest renunciations of carnal pleasures, the strictest asceticism, the most severe penances and self-martyrdom ever known among humankind. No Western saint ever endured as much for the welfare of his soul as the self-imposed torments of the Eastern priests, fakirs, and holy men, and women, in the suppression of desire.
It is the white man who is accountable for the introduction of sexual vices unknown, or rarely practised, in the East before his coming. He has brought venereal disease, and implanted its mortal poisons in the blood of thousands of healthy primitive people. He has taught unclean vulgarity of thought and speech to innocent natives free from its taint. He has introduced intoxicating spirits, and encouraged their use among sober savages. Let the white man pause before he speaks in condemnation of "the abominable sexual practices" of the Orient.
One of the best-informed and most sympathetic writers upon Indian life is Mrs. Flora Annie Steel. This lady lived for many years in the East, and her volume "India" and her novels show how closely she has observed the people. Mrs. Steel's testimony, while it lacks the high enthusiasm of Miss Margaret Noble, is still very favourable concerning the position of Hindu women. She has the cosmopolitan, rather than the average Anglo-Indian, outlook. After a diligent reading of this author's chapter on Indian women, and other parts of her book, one is almost compelled to assent to Miss Noble's view; for very much that Mrs. Steel writes supports her compatriot's optimistic vision of Hindu life.
Mrs. Steel says shrewdly that, though the monopoly of a man by his wife, as in Western marriage, is unknown in India, the sons are invariably monopolised by the mothers. The maternal authority is unquestionable and autocratic. In the East generally, women are despotic over the men.[3] Nowhere are men so henpecked as in India. Wife-beating is extremely rare, in spite of the assertiveness of the wives. There seems little doubt that the Hindu husband is conspicuous for his docility and patience. There are "few happier households than Indian ones," says Mrs. Steel. Among the Jat and the Sikh villagers a charming camaraderie prevails between men and women. This is often the case where the sexes work side by side on an equality.
Unkindness to children is hardly known. We shall note that this virtue of parental love is almost universal in Eastern countries. Divorce is practically unknown. To the Hindus marriage is a grave and sacred union. In wedlock the husband is "a perfect prey to his womenfolk, at any rate for some years." Surely this statement should be considered by the critics of Indian marriage before they lament "the degraded position of our Indian sisters."
"We in the West," writes Mrs. Steel, "are talking of discarding marriage, but played in Eastern fashion marriage has guarded much that woman holds most dear."
Even the missionaries are bound to acknowledge that sexual morality is high in India. Mrs. Steel asserts that the standard of national morality is "far higher in India than it is in England." In Persia and in India the code of sex morals in ancient times was almost cruel in its severity. The tradition still lives. It is true that mercenary commerce of the sexes is practised in the towns, but in a far less flagrant and callous manner than in the Western civilisations. Seduction is a very serious offence in India, and the betrayed girl is always acutely distressed. There is, however, proper provision for the few children born out of marriage.
In the light of the careful evidence of such an authority as Mrs. Steel, it is time for us to recognize that all the sexual virtues are not restricted to the West. It is to be regretted that missionary zeal has fostered the view in England that the women of India are merely the serfs of sensual, tyrannous men. As Mrs. Steel remarks, we have been told by the ordinary Anglo-Indian and the missionaries that India is "thoroughly degraded, hopelessly, helplessly depraved, and utterly enslaved." Yet, in spite of polygamy, the Hindu woman's position compares very favourably with that of her Western sisters.
Mrs. Steel would perhaps go further than this. The following extract is from a lecture delivered by her:—
"In an original address on 'The Women of India,' at the Manor House Club, Bredon's Norton, yesterday, Mrs. Steel championed the superior domestic position of the Indian woman as against the European woman.
"According to Mrs. Steel the Eastern wife has a very easy time of it. She does not have to rise to prepare her husband's breakfast or that of her children, for the simple reason that having supped plentifully they do not require any breakfast beyond a chunk of food, to which they help themselves. And so throughout the day the Indian woman's domestic duties are of the lightest. There are no rooms crowded with furniture to sweep and dust, and not even a bed to make, while the clothing for the family is too simple to burden the housewife.
"Touching upon the problems of wifehood and motherhood, Mrs. Steel made the bold statement that during her long residence in India she had not seen as much matrimonial unhappiness, even taking polygamy into account, as she had witnessed in our own land."—Daily Chronicle.
I have cited passages from the Hindu sacred books and the ancient codes showing that the rights of women were not disregarded in India. The following passage is from the "Rigveda":—
"Though the wife, like the children, was subject to the will of her husband, her position was one of greater honour in the Rigvedic age than later, for she shared with her husband the performance of sacrifice. She was mistress of the house, with control not only over servants and slaves but also over the unmarried brothers and sisters of her husband. As the family could only be continued in the male line, prayers for abundance of sons are very frequent. But the birth of daughters is never desired in the Rigveda; it is deprecated in the Atharvaveda; the Yajurveda refers to girls being exposed when born; and one of the Brahmanas observes that 'to have a daughter is a misery.' This prejudice survives in India to the present day with unabated force."[4]
Gyanendra Kumar Ray Chaudhuri, writing on "Hindu Love," says:—
"The primitive civilization and crude morality of the less advanced and educated Hindu are far better than any form of Western civilization. There is much in the East which the West should do well to adopt. Among the Hindus conjugal union is a thing to be kept inviolate as a sacred tie not to be dissolved even by death. The so-called emancipated and enlightened females should learn from their benighted sisters how sacred the relation is between husband and wife. In the estimation of the Hindu female it is invested with a heavenly grandeur which passes all description."
The same author writes of Hindu women:—
"Their chastity, their devotion, their love, are admired by all sensible men."
Many of the Hindu classic poets and romance writers extol passionate love, and marriage for love alone, which proves that, in the old days, more freedom of choice was permitted to lovers.
- ↑ See "Studies in the Psychology of Sex," Vol. VI., Havelock Ellis.
- ↑ "An Account of the Interior of Ceylon"—Davy.
- ↑ Op. cit. Mrs. Steel.
- ↑ "Imp. Gazetteer of India," 1908.