Yawcob Strauss and Other Poems/A Tale of a Nose

by Charles Follen Adams

A TALE OF A NOSE.

Twas a hard case, that which happened in Lynn.

Haven't heard of it, eh ? Well then, to begin,

There's a Jew down there whom they call " Old Mose,"

Who travels about, and buys old clothes.

Now Mose — which the same is short for Moses —

Had one of the biggest kind of noses:

It had a sort of an instep in it,

And he fed it with snuff about once a minute.

One day he got in a bit of a row

With a German chap who had kissed his frau,

And, trying to punch him a la Mace,

Had his nose cut off close up to his face.

He picked it up from off the ground,

And quickly back in its place 'twas bound,

Keeping the bandage upon his face

Until it had fairly healed in place.

Alas for Mose! 'Twas a sad mistake

Which he in his haste that day did make;

For, to add still more to his bitter cup,

He found he had placed it wrong side up.

"There's no great loss without some gain;"

And Moses says, in a jocular vein,

He arranged it so for taking snuff,

As he never before could get enough.

One thing, by the way, he forgets to add,

Which makes the arrangement rather bad:

Although he can take his snuff with ease,

He has to stand on his head to sneeze!