Yawcob Strauss and Other Poems/Yawcob's Dribdlations

by Charles Follen Adams

YAWCOB'S DRIBDLATIONS.

Maybe dot you don'd rememper,

Eighdeen — dwendy years ago,

How I dold aboudt mine Yawcob —

Dot young rashkell, don'd you know,

Who got schicken-box und measles;

Filled mine bipe mit Limburg scheeze;

Cut mine cane up indo dhrum-schticks,

Und blay all sooch dricks as dhese.

Yell! dhose times dhey vas been ofer,

Und dot son off mine, py shings!

Now vas taller as hees fader,

Und vas oup to all sooch dhings

Like shimnastic dricks und pase-pall;

Und der oder day he say

Dot he boxes mit " adthledics,"

Somevheres ofer on Back Bay.

Times vas deeferent, now, I dold you,

As vhen he vas been a lad;

Dhen Katrine she make hees drowsers

Vrom der oldt vones off hees dad;

Dhey vas cut so full und baggy

Dot id dook more as a fool

To find oudt eef he vas going,

Or vas coming home vrom school.

Now, dhere vas no making ofer

Off mine clothes to make a suit

For dot poy — der times vas exchanged;

"Der leg vas on der oder boot;"

For vhen hees drowsers dhey gets dhin,

Und sort off "schlazy" roundt der knee,

Dot Mrs. Strauss she dake der sceessors

Und she cuts dhem down for me.

Shnst der oder day dot Yawcob

Gife me von elecdric shock,

Vhen he say he vants fife-hundord

To invesht in railroadt schtock.

Dhen I dell him id vas beddher

Dot he leaf der schtocks alone,

Or some feller dot vas schmardter

Dake der meat imd leaf der bone.

Und vhen I vas got oxcited,

Und say he get "echwiped" und fooled,

Dheri he say he haf a "pointer"

Yrom soom friendts off Sage und Gould;

Und dot he vas on " rock bottom;"

Had der "inside track" on "Atch"

Dot vas too mooch for hees fader,

Und I coom oup to der scratch.

Dhen in bolitics he dabbles,

Und all qvesdions, great und schmall,

Make no deeferent to dot Yawcob —

For dot poy he knows id all.

Und he say dot dhose oldt fogies

Must be laid oup on der shelf,

Und der governors und mayors

Should pe young men — like himself.

Yell! I vish I vas dransborted

To dhose days off long ago,

Vhen dot schafer beat der milk-ban

Und schkydoodled droo der schnow.

I could schtand der mumbs und measles,

Und der ruckshuns in der house;

Budt mine presendt dribulations

Vas too mooch for Meester Strauss.