Bacon's Essays/Of Parents and Children
VII
OF PARENTS AND CHILDREN
The loyes of Parents are Secret, And so are their Griefes and Feares: They cannot utter the one, Nor they will not utter the other. Children sweeten Labours, But they make Misfortunes more bitter: They increase the Cares of Life, but they mitigate the Remembrance[1] of Death. The Perpetuity by Generation is common to Beasts; But Memory[2], Merit, and Noble workes, are proper[3] to Men: And surely a Man shall see the Noblest workes and Foundations[4] have proceeded from Childlesse Men, which have sought to expresse the Images of their Minds, where those of their Bodies have failed; So the care of Posterity is most in them that have no Posterity. They that are the first Raisers of their Houses are most Indulgent towards their Children, Beholding them as the Continuance not only of their kinde[5] but of their Worke; And so both Children, and Creatures[6].
The difference in Affection of Parents towards their severall Children is many times unequall, And sometimes unworthy[7], Especially in the mother; As Salomon saith, A wise sonne reioyceth the Father, but an ungracious sonne shames the Mother. A Man shall see, where there is a House full of Children, one or two of the Eldest respected[8], and the Youngest made wantons[9]; But in the middest, some that are as it were forgotten, who, many times, never thelesse, prove the best. The Illiberalitie of Parents, in allowance towards their Children, is an harmefull Errour; Makes them base; Acquaints them with Shifts; Makes them sort[10] with meane Company; And makes them surfet more[11], when they come to Plenty: And therefore, the Proofe[12] is best, when Men keepe their Authority towards their Children, but not their Purse. Men have a foolish manner (both Parents, and Schoolemasters, and Servants) in creating and breeding an Emulation between Brothers during Childhood, which many times sorteth to[13] Discord when they are Men, And disturbeth Families. The Italians make little difference betweene Children and Nephewes or neere Kinsfolkes; But so[14] they be of the Lumpe[15], they care not, though they passe not through their owne Body. And, to say Truth, in Nature it is much a like matter; In so much that we see a Nephew sometimes resembleth an Uncle or a Kinsman more then his owne Parent, As the Bloud happens. Let Parents choose betimes the Vocations and Courses they meane their Children should take; For then they are most flexible; And let them not too much apply themselves[16] to the Disposition of their Children, as thinking they will take best to that which they have most Minde to. It is true that, if the Affection[17] or Aptnesse of the Children be Extraordinary, then it is good not to crosse it; But generally, the Precept is good, Optimum elige, suave et facile illud faciet Consuetudo[18]. Younger Brothers are commonly Fortunate, but seldome or never where the Elder are disinherited.
- ↑ thought
- ↑ being kept in memory
- ↑ peculiar
- ↑ institutions
- ↑ family
- ↑ created objects
- ↑ unreasonable
- ↑ favoured
- ↑ spoilt
- ↑ associate
- ↑ become more gluttonous
- ↑ result
- ↑ results in
- ↑ provided
- ↑ same stock
- ↑ pay attention
- ↑ liking for a particular vocation
- ↑ Choose what is best: habit will make it easy and pleasant
This work was published before January 1, 1929, and is in the public domain worldwide because the author died at least 100 years ago.
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