Base-Ball Ballads/Hard-Luck Adam

by Grantland Rice

 

HARD-LUCK ADAM.

Adam had no Easter hat to buy for Mrs. Eve;
Adam had no "cost-of-living" troubles to aggrieve;
Adam had no job to hold by slaving day or night,
Adding columns, beating carpets, planning stuff to write.
Adam had a hectic cinch, played across the boards—
Everything that nature and an idle life affords.
And yet I wouldn't change with him, whatever be my loss:
He never saw a triple drive the winning run across.

Adam had no dress to buy to calm his spouse's grief
(All that Adam had to do was go and pull a leaf).
Back in Father Adam's day, long and long ago,
There was not an Aldrich nor a crusty Uncle Joe;
Raving politicians never roamed about the land,
Double-crossing voters in a way to beat the band.
But with it all poor Adam never had a chance to dream
Of bold three-hundred hitters and a pennant-winning team.

Adam lived on Easy Street, dreaming in the sun;
Never a policeman there to cut in on his fun;
Never had a cook around threatening to leave;
"Bridge" was not invented in the days of Mrs. Eve.
Take it up and down the line in those golden days,
Adam had it on us in a hundred different ways;
And yet with all his blessings, what a dull and massive pall—
For poor old Father Adam never saw a game of ball!