Creole Sketches/Ultra-Canal

by Lafcadio Hearn

ULTRA-CANAL^[1]

"Is the old man in?"

"Ah! de ole man! He not been live here since more as tree year. He have lef all his furnizer here; but I not know vat him become. I tink vat he lose himself."

"Lose himself?"

"Yes, I tink he lose to himself. Monsieur not speak Français? No? Eh bien I make try you explain, zough I not good English speak.

"You see, he have to him ze brain attack, I zink, of recent. He lose vat to him belong. Some time he lose coat, some time pant, some time shirt, — all time night-key, I vas oblige for him order more as tirteen night-key, for vat I make him to pay. He live in one kind of dream — il s' embêtait — he embeast himself much — he seem all day like vat you call sonambule."

"Yes, yes! well?"

"Eh bien! — some time he put on tree pair pant. Some time on hot day he put him on ze overcoat. One day I see him try to put on to him ze pant for ze shirt. He have put to him ze arm in ze leg of ze pant; an' he swear sacre roucht for dat he not could put on —"

"Yes, I understand. But what has become of him?"

"Attendez un peu. I tell one. One oder day he not have any clothes on, an' he try to find his key, an' he swear at tailor for sacre charogne for dat he not have made him pocket vat he can easy find. He forget vat he not be dress. Den he lose to him money all time vat make him angry much. One time he take by mistake coat vat not to him belong, and take it to tailor for dat he put tail to it; an' he has to pay to de oder man, of wich he spoil de coat."

"Yes. But where is —"

"Vait — I explain you. He lose everyting — handchef, towl, pockbook, monee, key — all time. One domestique he employ only for find vat he los'; and domestique run himself away, for dat he not more can so hard work endure."

"But, for God's sake, what has become of him?"

"Monsieur, I not can you tell. He go out one morning, and I not have hear or see of him after. His furniser an' all be in my house. He have pay of advance. He owe me notings. He have not ever come back. No one have see or hear. I be satisfy vat himself he lose — like as he lose every oder ting — vat he lose never more find. Vell, he lose to himself. He never more himself find. Que voulez-vous?"

1. Item, July 17, 1880.